wife

Also it's a recurring payment don't ask me why i know ok?

This kid's going places...not college but places

It's not a bad system if it works

Only odd numbers acceptable are multiples of 5

Those poor spoons!

Or do you just like her for her personality

That time of the month! Everybody knows how happy women get during that time! Annoying your wife with playful hijinks is a really good strategy to strengthen your relationship since if she doesn't kill you it's all working fine.
here are a few reasons why annoying your wife during her period is a good ideal

"The Hormonal Hijinks": Annoying your wife during her period is like playing a game of emotional roulette—never knowing whether you'll get tears, anger, or laughter in response. It's a wild ride of hormonal hijinks that keeps life interesting and your marriage on its toes.

"The PMS Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is a surefire way to unleash your inner prankster and keep the laughter flowing. From hiding the chocolate stash to hiding the remote control, it's all fair game when it comes to PMS-induced shenanigans.

"The Cramp Comedy Hour": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a dose of levity to the monthly cramp-fest. Whether you're cracking jokes or performing impromptu dance routines, anything to distract from the discomfort is fair game—even if it means risking a pillow to the face.

"The Menstrual Mischief Maker": Annoying your wife during her period is a time-honored tradition that keeps the marriage strong and the laughter flowing. Whether it's pretending not to understand her cryptic cravings or teasing her about her newfound superpowers of emotional intensity, it's all in good fun—until she breaks out the chocolate.

"The Period Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a splash of humor to the monthly cycle of mood swings and cravings. Whether you're leaving cheesy love notes around the house or serenading her with period-themed parodies of her favorite songs, it's a lighthearted way to weather the storm and keep the love alive.

Caught being a terrible person. But cheating on your wife is Ok (only for assholes) So we thought up of a few reasons an asshole would think cheating on their wife is ok:

The Infidelity Ignorance: "Because cheating on your wife is like eating the last slice of pizza—you know it's wrong, but hey, someone's gotta do it, right? And who better than the resident asshole to take one for the team?"

The Disloyalty Delusion: "Because cheating on your wife is a surefire way to keep life exciting—who needs stability and trust when you can have drama and deceit? Only certified assholes understand the true thrill of keeping their partners on their toes!"

The Commitment Cop-Out: "Because cheating on your wife is just your way of showing her that you're too busy being an asshole to be tied down by silly things like monogamy and fidelity. Who needs a wedding vow when you've got a personal code of douchebaggery?"

The Marriage Misdirection: "Because cheating on your wife is the ultimate test of her love and devotion—only a true asshole would put their partner through such emotional turmoil just to prove a point. Who needs couples therapy when you can just gaslight your way to a stronger marriage?"

The Selfish Spouse: "Because cheating on your wife is like playing a game of emotional Russian roulette—sure, you might blow up your marriage in the process, but who cares when you're the one holding the trigger? Only assholes understand the true joy of watching everything go up in flames."

Just don't burst his bubble.
Here are five humorous reasons why your husband might be happy to get catcalled:

"The Ego Boosting Feline Flattery": Every time he gets catcalled, it's like a little ego massage for his self-esteem. Who needs compliments from strangers when you can have construction workers shouting appreciative remarks about your hubby's fashion choices?

"The Catwalk Confidence": Getting catcalled is like strutting down the runway of life with confidence and style. It's the ultimate validation that your husband's got it going on, and the world can't help but take notice of his fabulousness.

"The Street-Side Serenade": Instead of feeling harassed, your husband sees catcalling as a quirky form of urban karaoke. Every whistle, honk, and "Hey there, handsome!" is just another verse in the symphony of city life, and he's the star of the show.

"The Flirtatious Fish in a Sea of Compliments": Catcalling is like being a fish in a sea of compliments, and your husband is swimming laps in the compliments pool. With every wolf whistle and suggestive remark, he's reeling in the flattery and basking in the attention.

"The Comedic Catcall Conundrum": Instead of taking catcalling seriously, your husband sees it as a comedy routine performed by amateur comedians with questionable taste. Every crude remark is like a punchline waiting for the perfect comeback, and your husband is the king of quick wit.

But a welcome one. Not recommended but you could pick one of these strategies if you're really dead set on emulating this woman!

Skywriting Surprise: Hire a skywriter to spell out "Will you marry me?" above your house on the morning of the wedding. When your groom steps outside to see what all the fuss is about, you'll be waiting in your wedding dress with a bouquet in hand.

Undercover Invitation: Have a friend pose as a delivery person and hand-deliver a mysterious package to your groom's door. Inside, he'll find a message that reads, "Your presence is requested at a top-secret event," along with a pair of cufflinks or socks embroidered with wedding bells.

Scavenger Hunt Hijinks: Send your groom on a wild goose chase around town, with each clue leading him closer to the big reveal. The final clue could lead him to a park where you're waiting under a beautifully decorated arch, ready to say "I do."

Puzzle Piece Proposal: Create a custom jigsaw puzzle featuring a photo of the two of you and the words "Will you marry me?" Once he puts the puzzle together, he'll realize that the last piece is missing—and you'll be there to hand it to him, along with an invitation to your wedding.

Flash Mob Fiasco: Organize a surprise flash mob in a public place where you and your groom frequently hang out. As he watches in disbelief, the dancers will spell out "Will you marry me?" in choreographed movements, and you'll emerge from the crowd to pop the question—and extend an invitation to your wedding, of course!

Not the gift she wanted but the gift she deserved.
Here are some humorous, but utterly useless, home appliance gifts:

"The Self-Stirring Teapot: Because who has time to use a spoon when you can have a teapot with a built-in tornado mode? Just watch as your tea leaves perform a dance of futility."

"The Automatic Ice Cream Scooper: Because nothing says 'romance' like a machine that promises perfectly spherical scoops of ice cream, but delivers more like modern art sculptures of frozen sadness."

"The Electric Banana Peeler: Because why peel bananas with your hands like a mere mortal when you can watch in awe as this gadget meticulously removes 0.1mm of peel at a time? Efficiency has never tasted so bland!"

"The Voice-Activated Toaster: Because nothing says 'I love you' like yelling 'Bread, be toasted!' at 6 a.m. every morning. Who needs peace and quiet when you can have burnt toast and strained vocal cords?"

"The Robotic Pillow Fluffer: Because who has time to manually fluff pillows when you can have a robot arm do it for you? Just be prepared for a bedtime routine that sounds like a malfunctioning R2-D2 having a meltdown."