wholesome

Flirting done right

Can't wait to spill some wine or coffee on my furry belly.
Let's get creative with some humorous DIY tricks to salvage a stained shirt, even if they might not be the most practical:

"The Dazzling Duct Tape Design": Cover up those unsightly stains with a chic mosaic of colorful duct tape patches. Not only will it hide the stains, but you'll also be the trendsetter of the century. Who needs fabric dye when you've got a rainbow of tape at your disposal?

"The Splatter Paint Splendor": Turn your stained shirt into a wearable work of art by splattering it with vibrant paint in a Jackson Pollock-inspired masterpiece. Sure, it may not match anything in your wardrobe, but who can resist the allure of abstract expressionism?

"The Glitter Glamour Gambit": Transform your stained shirt into a shimmering spectacle by liberally applying glitter glue to the affected areas. Not only will it distract from the stains, but you'll also be ready for any impromptu dance parties that come your way.

"The Patchwork Paradox": Embrace the patchwork trend by sewing on an eclectic assortment of fabric scraps, buttons, and sequins to cover up those pesky stains. Sure, it might look like a quilt exploded on your shirt, but who doesn't love a good DIY fashion statement?

"The Pasta Picasso Prestige": Create a one-of-a-kind textile masterpiece by carefully arranging and gluing dried pasta shapes onto your stained shirt. Not only will it add texture and dimension, but you'll also have a handy snack on hand for those mid-day cravings.

Share this so your friends get a chance to see something wholesome too.
We are proud of you and we'll tell you this in a few different ways. Pick your favorite in the comments:

**"You're doing fantastic! Every effort you make is a step forward, and I'm genuinely proud of you for putting in the work. Keep it up!"

**"I just want to take a moment to say how proud I am of you. Your determination and perseverance are truly admirable, and I believe in you every step of the way."

**"You're doing an amazing job, and I'm proud to see how far you've come. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small, and your effort doesn't go unnoticed."

**"I'm incredibly proud of your efforts and the strides you're making. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your strength and resilience. Keep going—you're doing great!"

**"You're doing wonderfully, and I want you to know that your hard work doesn't go unnoticed. Every effort you make is valued, and I'm proud to support you on your journey. Keep shining bright!"

Be the kind creepy guy for someone in your life!
If she wanted him to stop being a sort of bat-friend-man she could have used one of these but since she didn't we assume the bat-posting was consensual

**"Hey, can you please stop bat-tering me with all these bat memes? My inbox is starting to feel like a bat cave, and I'm not Batman, I swear."

**"Listen, I appreciate your enthusiasm for bats, but I think I've reached my bat quota for the year. Let's give the bats a break and focus on something less... batty."

**"I'm starting to feel like I'm in a bat-themed horror movie, and I'm the unsuspecting victim. Can we switch to a less spooky topic before I start seeing bats in my dreams?"

**"I've come to the realization that I'm more of a cat person than a bat person. So, if you could please stop sending me bat-related content, that would be purr-fect."

**"I'm all for spreading our wings and exploring new interests, but I think it's time to put the bats to bed for now. Let's move on to something that doesn't involve flying rodents, shall we?"

I guess they'll start trusting people from now on. Here are other ways the universe can strong-arm you into being open and emotionally available:

"The Cosmic Cupid Conspiracy": You find yourself repeatedly tripping over conveniently placed banana peels, only to land directly in front of potential love interests. It's like the universe is playing matchmaker and refusing to take no for an answer.

"The Emotional Rollercoaster Road Trip": Every time you try to take a relaxing road trip alone, the universe intervenes by sending you on a wild adventure filled with unexpected detours, quirky roadside attractions, and chance encounters with eccentric strangers who force you to confront your feelings.

"The Celestial Cup of Coffee": Every morning, your coffee cup mysteriously transforms into a magic eight ball, revealing cryptic messages like "Today's the day to spill your heart out" or "You can't hide from your feelings forever." It's like the universe is trying to caffeinate your emotions into submission.

"The Galactic Group Therapy Session": You wake up one morning to find that your entire social media feed has been infiltrated by motivational quotes, heartfelt confessions, and unsolicited advice from distant acquaintances. It's like the universe has scheduled a cosmic intervention to force you into emotional vulnerability.

"The Interstellar Intervention": You receive a series of anonymous letters, emails, and carrier pigeon messages from an enigmatic figure known only as "The Cosmic Counselor," who seems determined to help you navigate the treacherous waters of emotional availability. It's like the universe has hired a personal life coach... from another dimension.

The dog is going to be an uncle. And a great one at that, possibly the best! Here are some reasons why a dog would be the ultimate uncle:

"Expert Toy Tester": Dogs excel at testing the durability of toys, making them the perfect uncles for rambunctious nieces and nephews. With their unmatched enthusiasm for destruction, they'll ensure that only the toughest toys survive the playtime gauntlet.

"Master of Nap Time Negotiations": Need a break from babysitting duty? Leave it to your canine uncle to handle nap time negotiations with finesse. With a few well-timed yawns and a cozy spot on the couch, they'll have your little ones snoozing in no time—leaving you free to catch up on your own beauty sleep.

"Chief Snack Supervisor": When it comes to snack time, your dog uncle takes his role as chief snack supervisor very seriously. With a keen nose for treats and a talent for begging, he'll ensure that your little ones never go hungry—whether it's sharing his own stash of biscuits or liberating snacks from unsuspecting hands.

"The Ultimate Hide-and-Seek Partner": Dogs are experts at hide-and-seek, making them the ultimate partners in crime for your little adventurers. With their keen sense of smell and boundless energy, they'll turn every game of hide-and-seek into an epic adventure—whether they're hiding in plain sight or leading the search party.

"Masters of the Paw-some Pupdate": Your dog uncle is always up to date on the latest gossip in the neighborhood—whether it's the latest squirrel sightings or the juiciest gossip from the local dog park. With their keen sense of curiosity and unmatched ability to sniff out secrets, they'll keep your little ones entertained for hours with their paw-some pupdates.

Sometimes the wold isn't as bad as we think!
Here have some REAL examples of senior citizens being wholesome! It's not all Karen's and Home Owner Associations out there:

"Grandma's Viral Dance Moves": A video of an elderly woman dancing to a popular song in her living room goes viral, spreading joy and laughter across the internet. Her infectious energy and enthusiastic moves inspire viewers of all ages to get up and dance, proving that age is just a number when it comes to having fun.

"Grandpa's DIY Bird Feeder": An elderly man crafts intricate bird feeders out of recycled materials and installs them in his backyard. Not only does he attract a variety of colorful birds to his garden, but he also becomes a local celebrity as neighbors stop by to admire his handiwork and learn his secret to birdwatching success.

"Senior Citizen's Random Acts of Kindness": A retiree spends his days performing random acts of kindness around his neighborhood, from baking cookies for local firefighters to leaving uplifting notes on park benches. His small gestures of generosity inspire others to spread kindness wherever they go, proving that even the smallest actions can make a big difference in someone's day.

"Grandma's Hilarious Social Media Posts": An elderly woman discovers the world of social media and begins sharing humorous anecdotes and selfies with her grandchildren. Her witty captions and candid photos quickly gain a following online, earning her the title of "Instagram Grandma" and proving that you're never too old to embrace new technology.

"Grandpa's Epic Pranks": An elderly man becomes known for his playful sense of humor and penchant for pulling elaborate pranks on his family and friends. From fake spiders in the cookie jar to whoopee cushions on the sofa, his mischievous antics keep everyone on their toes and remind them to never take life too seriously, no matter their age.

No one is useless, here are some maxims continuing this idea:

"Even the most useless looking screw in an IKEA furniture set eventually finds its place. So, chin up! You're just waiting for the right instruction manual to come along."

"Remember, even a broken clock is right twice a day. So, if you feel like you're always off-kilter, just know that eventually, you'll stumble upon the perfect moment to shine!"

"Think of yourself as the 'Ctrl + Alt + Del' of life—sure, you might not know exactly what you're doing, but sometimes, a good old-fashioned reboot is just what the world needs!"

"You may feel as useful as a screen door on a submarine, but hey, someone's gotta let the fish know they're welcome. You're like the unsung hero of aquatic hospitality!"

"Just like the 'skip' button on a YouTube ad, you may not always be in demand, but when you are, you're an absolute lifesaver! Keep shining, you gloriously random button, you."

Or you know lie by omission
Here are some more wholesome lies by omission that you can tell your kids you facebook loving grandmas

The "Invisible Veggie" Ruse:
Parent: "Of course, there are no vegetables in your mac and cheese. It's pure cheesy goodness!"
omitting the fact that there's a secret stash of finely chopped veggies hidden in the sauce

The "Magical Money Tree" Mirage:
Parent: "Money doesn't grow on trees, but I have a secret trick to get more!"
omitting the fact that the "trick" involves going to work and earning a paycheck

The "Bedtime Story" Bluff:
Parent: "There are definitely no monsters under your bed. You're safe and sound!"
omitting the fact that monsters might live in the closet instead

The "Supermarket Swap" Scheme:
Parent: "I bought exactly what you wanted from the store."
omitting the fact that they bought a generic version or a different flavor because it was on sale

The "Pet Purchase" Pretense:
Parent: "We'll talk about getting a pet soon, I promise."
omitting the fact that the "pet" they're referring to is a houseplant or a pet rock

Just a dude and his best friend, you should try it here are some reasons your dog should be your only friend yes i said only

The "No Judgment Zone":
"Because my dog never judges my questionable life choices – he's too busy chasing his tail!"

The "Unconditional Love" Factor:
"My dog loves me even when I forget to feed him. Try getting that kind of loyalty from a human!"

The "No Small Talk" Policy:
"My dog doesn't care about the weather or politics. We bond over important stuff, like who's a good boy."

The "Snuggle Buddy" Solution:
"Who needs friends when you have a fluffy cuddle buddy who's always down for a nap?"

The "Secret Keeper" Secret:
"My dog knows all my embarrassing secrets and doesn't spill the kibble. That's true loyalty!"