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New Content Tagged with
vampire
5 months ago
8 months ago
Trust garlic cat
Make sure vampires don't get you. As not a cat myself I can't spin a tall tale about why you should accept this kitty's gift of garlic... what am i saying of course I can that's this site's whole gimmick! Here it is 5 reasons why you SHOULD take the garlic:
"The Ultimate Vampire Repellent": Need protection from blood-sucking vampires? Forget about garlic cloves—take the garlic offered by a cat instead. With their impeccable sense of smell and supernatural instincts, they're the ultimate vampire repellent in furry disguise.
"Cat-Approved Breath Freshener": Tired of spending a fortune on minty mouthwash? Take the garlic offered by a cat and say goodbye to bad breath forever. With their seal of approval, you'll be breathing easy in no time—just watch out for the lingering aroma of catnip.
"Instant Feline Friendship": Want to win over the affections of a finicky feline? Accept the garlic offered by a cat and watch as they become your new best friend. With their generous gift in paw, you'll be bonding over garlic-flavored treats in no time.
"A Gourmet Meal Fit for a Cat": Who needs expensive gourmet cat food when you can dine on freshly picked garlic? Accept the culinary offering from your feline friend and savor the flavor of their generous gesture. Just be sure to leave some for the vampires.
"The Cat's Secret Weapon": Ever wonder how cats maintain their air of mystery and intrigue? It's all thanks to their secret weapon—garlic. Accept the garlic offered by a cat and unlock the mysteries of the feline universe, one aromatic clove at a time.
"The Ultimate Vampire Repellent": Need protection from blood-sucking vampires? Forget about garlic cloves—take the garlic offered by a cat instead. With their impeccable sense of smell and supernatural instincts, they're the ultimate vampire repellent in furry disguise.
"Cat-Approved Breath Freshener": Tired of spending a fortune on minty mouthwash? Take the garlic offered by a cat and say goodbye to bad breath forever. With their seal of approval, you'll be breathing easy in no time—just watch out for the lingering aroma of catnip.
"Instant Feline Friendship": Want to win over the affections of a finicky feline? Accept the garlic offered by a cat and watch as they become your new best friend. With their generous gift in paw, you'll be bonding over garlic-flavored treats in no time.
"A Gourmet Meal Fit for a Cat": Who needs expensive gourmet cat food when you can dine on freshly picked garlic? Accept the culinary offering from your feline friend and savor the flavor of their generous gesture. Just be sure to leave some for the vampires.
"The Cat's Secret Weapon": Ever wonder how cats maintain their air of mystery and intrigue? It's all thanks to their secret weapon—garlic. Accept the garlic offered by a cat and unlock the mysteries of the feline universe, one aromatic clove at a time.
8 months ago
Trolling a vampire
Still not a pleasant place to be bleeding from, though if you want to troll a vampire while also flirting hey who am I to argue here's five silly suggestions
Garlic-Infused Massage Oil: Offer the vampire a massage with a special garlic-infused massage oil, promising to soothe their immortal muscles and tantalize their senses. Watch as they squirm at the thought of being slathered in the pungent scent of garlic.
Sunscreen Application Roleplay: Playfully suggest a game of "sunscreen application," where you take turns applying SPF lotion to each other's bodies. Make sure to mention how important it is to protect every inch of skin, including those hard-to-reach places.
Holy Water Balloon Balancing Act: Challenge the vampire to a game of "Holy Water Balloon Balancing," where they have to balance a water balloon filled with holy water on their head while performing various tasks. It's a test of skill and agility with a hint of danger.
Stakeout Tease: Leave a note on their coffin that says, "Wanted: Partner for a stakeout. Must be willing to explore dark alleys and confront dangerous creatures of the night." It's a cheeky invitation to join you on an adventure, complete with a subtle nod to their vampiric nature.
Crossword Puzzle Flirtation: Create a crossword puzzle filled with saucy clues and playful innuendos, challenging the vampire to solve each tantalizing riddle. It's a clever way to engage their mind while also teasing them with suggestive hints about their immortal desires.
Garlic-Infused Massage Oil: Offer the vampire a massage with a special garlic-infused massage oil, promising to soothe their immortal muscles and tantalize their senses. Watch as they squirm at the thought of being slathered in the pungent scent of garlic.
Sunscreen Application Roleplay: Playfully suggest a game of "sunscreen application," where you take turns applying SPF lotion to each other's bodies. Make sure to mention how important it is to protect every inch of skin, including those hard-to-reach places.
Holy Water Balloon Balancing Act: Challenge the vampire to a game of "Holy Water Balloon Balancing," where they have to balance a water balloon filled with holy water on their head while performing various tasks. It's a test of skill and agility with a hint of danger.
Stakeout Tease: Leave a note on their coffin that says, "Wanted: Partner for a stakeout. Must be willing to explore dark alleys and confront dangerous creatures of the night." It's a cheeky invitation to join you on an adventure, complete with a subtle nod to their vampiric nature.
Crossword Puzzle Flirtation: Create a crossword puzzle filled with saucy clues and playful innuendos, challenging the vampire to solve each tantalizing riddle. It's a clever way to engage their mind while also teasing them with suggestive hints about their immortal desires.
