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5 months ago
7 months ago
Someones going to be taken out of a will
Never invited to Christmas or Thanksgiving either. But does this persons desire for Gamer Pussy warrant them getting disowned? We think NO and here's a few reasons why:
"The Grandma's Got Game Gaffe": "Because who knew Grandma was such a pro at Cards Against Humanity? Needing 'games pussy' is just another way of saying you're the reigning champion of family game night, and Grandma's not about to disown her star player."
"The Bingo Blunder": "Because when Grandpa mishears 'games pussy' as 'bingo pussy,' things take a hilariously awkward turn at the retirement home. But hey, at least you've got your priorities straight—whether it's scoring a bingo or finding a date for Saturday night."
"The Scrabble Scandal": "Because needing 'games pussy' is just a harmless slip of the tongue during a heated game of Scrabble. Sure, it may raise a few eyebrows, but Grandma's more concerned about whether 'pussy' is a legitimate word worth triple points."
"The Monopoly Misunderstanding": "Because when you're busy wheeling and dealing in Monopoly, sometimes your words get jumbled in the chaos. Needing 'games pussy' might sound scandalous, but Grandpa's too busy trying to mortgage Boardwalk to notice."
"The Uno Uproar": "Because when you shout 'I need games, pussy!' during a game of Uno, it's bound to cause a few laughs and maybe even a blush or two. But hey, it's all in good fun—just don't let Grandma catch you playing strip Uno afterwards."
"The Grandma's Got Game Gaffe": "Because who knew Grandma was such a pro at Cards Against Humanity? Needing 'games pussy' is just another way of saying you're the reigning champion of family game night, and Grandma's not about to disown her star player."
"The Bingo Blunder": "Because when Grandpa mishears 'games pussy' as 'bingo pussy,' things take a hilariously awkward turn at the retirement home. But hey, at least you've got your priorities straight—whether it's scoring a bingo or finding a date for Saturday night."
"The Scrabble Scandal": "Because needing 'games pussy' is just a harmless slip of the tongue during a heated game of Scrabble. Sure, it may raise a few eyebrows, but Grandma's more concerned about whether 'pussy' is a legitimate word worth triple points."
"The Monopoly Misunderstanding": "Because when you're busy wheeling and dealing in Monopoly, sometimes your words get jumbled in the chaos. Needing 'games pussy' might sound scandalous, but Grandpa's too busy trying to mortgage Boardwalk to notice."
"The Uno Uproar": "Because when you shout 'I need games, pussy!' during a game of Uno, it's bound to cause a few laughs and maybe even a blush or two. But hey, it's all in good fun—just don't let Grandma catch you playing strip Uno afterwards."
7 months ago
Are you smarter then a 5th grader?
This person sure thinks they are, and why not an adult would ace 4th grade and here are some reasons why:
The Lunchbox Legend: "Because who needs a briefcase when you can rock up to class with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunchbox? Forget about sealing deals, it's all about sealing snacks!"
The Playground Prodigy: "Because recess isn't just a break, it's a battlefield—and this time, you've got the height advantage. Watch out, kids, dodgeball just got a lot more dangerous!"
The Naptime Ninja: "Because naptime isn't just for kids—it's a sacred ritual that should be honored by all. So when the teacher dims the lights and breaks out the mats, you better believe you'll be the first one snoring."
The Recess Rebellion: "Because who says hopscotch is just for hopscotch? Time to revolutionize the playground with some extreme hopscotch parkour. You might be a grown-up, but you've still got hops!"
The Bookworm Bandit: "Because forget about Harry Potter, you've already aced all seven books and written your own fanfiction sequel. Move over, Hermione, there's a new wizard in town—and this one's got a mortgage to pay!"
The Lunchbox Legend: "Because who needs a briefcase when you can rock up to class with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunchbox? Forget about sealing deals, it's all about sealing snacks!"
The Playground Prodigy: "Because recess isn't just a break, it's a battlefield—and this time, you've got the height advantage. Watch out, kids, dodgeball just got a lot more dangerous!"
The Naptime Ninja: "Because naptime isn't just for kids—it's a sacred ritual that should be honored by all. So when the teacher dims the lights and breaks out the mats, you better believe you'll be the first one snoring."
The Recess Rebellion: "Because who says hopscotch is just for hopscotch? Time to revolutionize the playground with some extreme hopscotch parkour. You might be a grown-up, but you've still got hops!"
The Bookworm Bandit: "Because forget about Harry Potter, you've already aced all seven books and written your own fanfiction sequel. Move over, Hermione, there's a new wizard in town—and this one's got a mortgage to pay!"
7 months ago
Bear WITH him!
*chuckles* I'm in danger. Though it's clear it's too late for this guy keep these methods of Ursine SOS in mind if you're ever in this type of predicament :
"The Ursine SOS:" Use the classic international signal for distress—wave your arms frantically while shouting "Help! I'm being held hostage by a bear!" Bonus points if you can incorporate some interpretive dance moves to really drive your point home.
"The Bear-y Obvious Distress Call:" If you're lucky enough to have access to your phone, send a text to your friends and family with the urgent message "SOS: Bear-napped! Send help ASAP!" It might sound like a joke, but trust us—nobody wants to mess with a bear.
"The Morse Code Mauling:" If you're feeling creative (and you happen to know Morse code), use your flashlight to send an SOS signal in bear language. Just be sure to brush up on your bear dialect first—you don't want to accidentally insult their intelligence.
"The Subtle Scream:" If all else fails, resort to the tried-and-true method of screaming your head off while flailing wildly. Sure, it might not be the most subtle approach, but desperate times call for desperate measures—and nothing says "I'm being held hostage by a bear" like a blood-curdling scream.
"The Bear-y Detailed Sign Language:" If you're a master of nonverbal communication, use your hands to signal for help in bear language. Wave your arms in a frantic manner while making exaggerated bear claw motions, and hope that someone nearby understands your plight—or at least calls animal control.
"The Ursine SOS:" Use the classic international signal for distress—wave your arms frantically while shouting "Help! I'm being held hostage by a bear!" Bonus points if you can incorporate some interpretive dance moves to really drive your point home.
"The Bear-y Obvious Distress Call:" If you're lucky enough to have access to your phone, send a text to your friends and family with the urgent message "SOS: Bear-napped! Send help ASAP!" It might sound like a joke, but trust us—nobody wants to mess with a bear.
"The Morse Code Mauling:" If you're feeling creative (and you happen to know Morse code), use your flashlight to send an SOS signal in bear language. Just be sure to brush up on your bear dialect first—you don't want to accidentally insult their intelligence.
"The Subtle Scream:" If all else fails, resort to the tried-and-true method of screaming your head off while flailing wildly. Sure, it might not be the most subtle approach, but desperate times call for desperate measures—and nothing says "I'm being held hostage by a bear" like a blood-curdling scream.
"The Bear-y Detailed Sign Language:" If you're a master of nonverbal communication, use your hands to signal for help in bear language. Wave your arms in a frantic manner while making exaggerated bear claw motions, and hope that someone nearby understands your plight—or at least calls animal control.
