poop

He's going places...not college but places

Monkeys are hard pets to have

Why not talk on the phone?

A number two or a 1?

They should stay forgotten

Never reschedule something as important as a morning dump, after all we know it's the only thing that brings joy to that husk you call a life.
We know the reasons why:

"The Throne of Solitude":
"For a father, the morning dump isn't just about bodily functions; it's his precious alone time. It's the only moment in the day when he can truly claim the bathroom throne as his own kingdom, free from the demands of family life."

"The Great Escape":
"In a house full of chaos and commotion, the morning dump is his chance to stage a daring escape from reality. As he sits on the porcelain throne, he's transported to a realm of tranquility, where the only sound is the gentle hum of the bathroom fan."

"The Zen Zone":
"Forget meditation apps and yoga retreats – for a dad, the morning dump is his daily dose of Zen. With each passing moment, he achieves a deeper state of relaxation, reaching levels of inner peace that would make even a Buddhist monk jealous."

"The Brainstorming Bowl":
"Who needs a boardroom when you have a bathroom? For a dad, the morning dump isn't just about bodily relief; it's prime brainstorming time. As he contemplates life's greatest mysteries, from 'Why are dinosaurs extinct?' to 'Where did I leave my car keys?'"

"The Victory Lap":
"Completing the morning dump isn't just a bodily function – it's a triumph of human achievement. With each flush, he celebrates another small victory in the battle against constipation, proudly proclaiming himself the undisputed champion of the porcelain throne!"