police

A very steep price to pay for anything in life. Here's a few reasons why the mention of free drugs would get some people clambering to put on their murrsuit:

The Fuzzy Freebies Fantasy: They heard furries get complimentary doses of "Furrycillin" to cure their existential woes, but little do they know it's just a placebo disguised as a fluffy tail.

The "Furry Friends Forever" Fairy Tale: They believe joining the furry community comes with a lifetime supply of free hugs, but soon discover it's more like a never-ending game of "hide and seek" with sweaty strangers in mascot costumes.

The Psychedelic Paw-ty Perk: Rumor has it furries have access to a secret stash of mind-altering substances called "Euphorifur," but it turns out it's just catnip and cheap glitter.

The Plushie Paradise Promise: They've been promised a plushie paradise where the streets are lined with cuddly companions, but soon realize it's just a marketing ploy to sell overpriced teddy bears and novelty tail-shaped butt plugs.

The "Furry Fandom FOMO" Fallacy: They're lured in by the promise of exclusive access to the hottest furry events and parties, only to discover that the only thing on the menu is lukewarm Mountain Dew and lukewarmer conversations about anthropomorphic Sonic fan art.

Parents forgot how hard math is i guess maybe they buy it. If you really want that crack pipe and are an amateur crackhead who hasn't discovered the optimal car stereo stealing techniques here are some blatant lies you could try on your poor soon to disown you parents:

"Mom, Dad, I Need a Crackpipe... for My Yoga Class": Convince them that your yoga instructor is introducing a new form of relaxation therapy involving unconventional props. The crackpipe, with its soothing curves and meditative potential, is just what you need to achieve inner peace and harmony.

"Hey, Mom and Dad, I Need a Crackpipe... for My Cooking Class": Tell them your culinary arts teacher is pushing the boundaries of gourmet cuisine with avant-garde cooking techniques. The crackpipe, as it turns out, is a key utensil for achieving the perfect caramelized sugar crust on crème brûlée. Bon appétit!

"Guess What, Mom and Dad? I Need a Crackpipe... for My Mime Performance": Convince them that your mime instructor has assigned a challenging new routine that involves pantomiming the struggles of addiction. The crackpipe is a crucial prop for conveying the silent anguish of substance abuse... or so you mime.

"Mom, Dad, I Need a Crackpipe... for My Stand-Up Comedy Routine": Explain that you're testing the boundaries of comedy with a daring new routine that tackles taboo subjects head-on. The crackpipe, you argue, is a hilarious punchline waiting to happen—assuming you can smoke out the laughs, that is.

"Mom, Dad, I Need a Crackpipe... for My Skydiving Course": Convince them that your skydiving instructor has introduced a thrilling new element to the freefall experience: extreme prop-based skydiving. The crackpipe, strapped securely to your chest, adds an extra level of excitement to your descent... or so you claim, as you plummet toward the earth.

He called in a strike.
Why stop there? Here's how he can continue using authority to his advantage:

"The Parking Ticket Parade": Have your brother swing by your enemy's neighborhood and start doling out parking tickets like candy on Halloween. Bonus points if he targets their driveway for a ticket-worthy violation, like parking slightly over the line or facing the wrong direction.

"Siren Symphony": Arrange for your brother to park his patrol car near your enemy's house and periodically turn on the sirens for a few seconds at a time. It's like a symphony of annoyance, with a touch of law enforcement flair.

"License and Registration, Please": Stage a routine traffic stop near your enemy's workplace or favorite hangout spot, complete with flashing lights and a friendly reminder to always obey traffic laws. Just be sure to let them off with a warning—after all, it's all in good fun.

"Community Policing": Encourage your brother to organize a neighborhood watch program and enlist your enemy as a volunteer. Nothing says "community service" like spending your weekends patrolling the streets for suspicious activity, right?

"The Case of the Missing Cat": Convince your brother to launch a full-scale investigation into the mysterious disappearance of your enemy's beloved pet rock, garden gnome, or other inanimate object of sentimental value. Who knows, maybe they'll even crack the case wide open (or not).

Specially if they want to clobber you
Here are five humorous reasons why you wouldn't want to experience police brutality:

The "Donut Detox" Disaster:
"Getting roughed up by the cops means missing out on the perfect excuse for indulging in a guilt-free donut binge. No handcuffs, no calories, no fun!"

The "Cufflink Conundrum" Calamity:
"Who wants to show off stylish bracelets made of steel? It's a fashion faux pas even the runway can't redeem!"

The "License to Limbo" Lament:
"If you experience police brutality, say goodbye to any hopes of winning the annual limbo championship – those handcuffs are a serious obstacle!"

The "Mugshot Makeover" Mayhem:
"Getting your picture taken for a mugshot might sound fun, but let's face it – orange isn't exactly your color, and those fluorescent lights are not kind to anyone's complexion!"

The "Cop Car Confusion" Catastrophe:
"Forget about Uber ratings – getting a ride in the back of a police cruiser will seriously tank your social status. #RideShareRegrets"