nostalgia critic

Remember when he didn't suck? Well he does now! So we imagined some one liners he'd say if he were a vampire slayer:

"Hey Dracula, you know what's better than sucking blood? Sucking at being immortal!"

"Count Chocula? More like Count...choke-ula! Bet you can't handle my stake!"

"Vampires? More like vam-pyres, am I right? They're so thirsty, they make Tinder look like a desert!"

"You think you're immortal? Well, I've got news for you, buddy! I'll stake you so hard, you'll feel it for centuries!"

"Forget stakes, I've got bad movies so steamy, they'll make even the undead blush!"