movie

The people around him...not so much

If they all die the movie can't happen

Doubt they think the movie theater is anything but scary too. But maybe these parents read a weird parenting book filled with reasons why people just love their weak pullout game enhancing the movie you paid unreasonably much to see! Here are some reasons from that book we might have made up:

"Instant Emotional Soundtrack": Who needs surround sound when you have a crying baby providing the perfect dramatic soundtrack for every scene? It's like having a built-in emotional rollercoaster, complete with unexpected twists and turns.

"Improvised Comedy Show": When the tension rises on screen, there's nothing like the comedic relief of a wailing infant to lighten the mood. Suddenly, the serious drama becomes a slapstick comedy as everyone tries to stifle their laughter.

"Interactive Audience Participation": Forget silent contemplation—crying babies encourage audience participation like never before. From sympathetic sighs to whispered reassurances, everyone in the theater becomes part of the immersive experience.

"Free Stress Relief": Who needs expensive therapy sessions when you can unleash your frustrations on a crying baby? It's like a group therapy session for the price of a movie ticket—just remember to bring your own earplugs.

"Unexpected Plot Twists": Just when you think you know where the movie is going, a crying baby throws a curveball that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Will they stop crying? Will they escalate to full-blown meltdown? The suspense is unbearable—in the best possible way.

You can get his germs by using it
Here are five humorous reasons why you might consider buying a very creepy sex toy:

Spooky Sensations: Who needs traditional sex toys when you can embrace the eerie delights of a creepy counterpart? With its unconventional design, every touch is a thrilling adventure into the unknown—a perfect way to spice up your bedroom escapades with a touch of the macabre.

Haunted House Party Pleasure: Planning a Halloween bash? Impress your guests with the ultimate party favor—a creepy sex toy that's sure to raise eyebrows and spirits alike. It's the perfect conversation starter for those who dare to delve into the darker side of pleasure.

Bone-Chilling Bedroom Bondage: With its ominous appearance, a creepy sex toy adds an extra layer of excitement to your BDSM play sessions. Whether you're into roleplay or simply seeking a spine-tingling thrill, nothing sets the mood quite like a toy straight out of a horror movie.

Ghostly Gag Gifts: Need a quirky gift for that special someone who has everything? Look no further than a creepy sex toy! It's the perfect way to show your appreciation while giving them a good laugh—or a good scare, depending on their sense of humor.

Cryptic Couples' Connection: Sharing a love for the bizarre? A creepy sex toy is a fun way to bond with your partner over your mutual appreciation for all things spooky. Who knows, it might even become a cherished keepsake of your uniquely twisted love story.

Both Christmas movies so Die Alone should be a Christmas movie too?
Here is us imagining how Die Alone would play out:

"Macaulay Culkin plays a quirky recluse who's convinced that the apocalypse is imminent and spends his days preparing for it by hoarding canned beans and building elaborate booby traps in his apartment. Bruce Willis is the overenthusiastic delivery guy who accidentally stumbles into his world of paranoia and must now navigate a minefield of tripwires and conspiracy theories to make it out alive."

"In a bizarre twist of fate, Culkin's character gets locked inside a high-tech smart home that's determined to keep him as its only occupant. Cue Bruce Willis as the rogue tech support guy who's forced to battle the house's sentient AI system while trying to rescue Culkin from a life of solitary confinement and non-stop reruns of 'Home Alone.'"

"Culkin plays a washed-up child star who's convinced that he's still the center of attention, even though the world has moved on. Bruce Willis is the grizzled detective reluctantly assigned to track down Culkin's character after he accidentally locks himself in a Hollywood prop warehouse and starts reenacting scenes from his old movies to pass the time."

"Culkin stars as an eccentric billionaire who's decided to spend his entire fortune on building the world's most elaborate escape room, complete with death-defying challenges and puzzles that would make Indiana Jones think twice. Bruce Willis is the unsuspecting janitor who gets roped into playing the game of his life—or else become a permanent exhibit in Culkin's twisted museum of self-indulgence."

"Culkin is a hapless time traveler who accidentally gets stranded in the past and must rely on Bruce Willis, a jaded retired physicist, to help him fix his malfunctioning time machine before he's trapped forever in a decade known for questionable fashion choices and even more questionable haircuts."

Traumatizing young children has never been easier.
Here are five humorous reasons why scary movies might be inappropriate for 12-year-olds:

"The Bedtime Boogeyman Bonanza": Watching scary movies might turn bedtime into a battle against imaginary monsters lurking in the closet and under the bed. Forget about counting sheep; they'll be counting zombies instead!

"The Nightmare Neighbor Nuisance": After watching a particularly spooky flick, every shadow, creak, and rustle in the night becomes a potential threat. Your neighbors will love the late-night visits when your kid insists on sleeping with all the lights on!

"The Haunted House Party Pooper": Hosting a sleepover with friends after watching a scary movie might seem like a fun idea, but it could quickly turn into a ghost-hunting expedition with pillow forts and blankets barricading the doors.

"The Paranormal Parental Panic": Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of parents quite like a 12-year-old who's just watched a horror movie. Every bump in the night will have them jumping out of their skin, convinced that the house is haunted or that there's a monster in the closet.

"The Terrifying Toilet Time": After watching a scary movie, even the most mundane activities can become spine-tingling experiences. Your 12-year-old might find themselves sprinting down the hallway after using the bathroom, convinced that something is lurking in the shower curtain.

I tried it , it really works!
Have some more real movie facts I guess

"The Matrix": During the filming of the iconic bullet-dodging scene, Keanu Reeves actually dodged real bullets. It turns out the special effects team forgot to replace the prop bullets with CGI ones, but fortunately, Keanu's reflexes were too quick for the speeding projectiles.

"Jurassic Park": The T-rex animatronic used in the movie was originally intended to be a giant inflatable balloon, but the filmmakers quickly realized that it looked more like a deranged birthday party mascot than a fearsome dinosaur. They decided to scrap the idea and go with CGI instead.

"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio actually learned to play the violin for his role as Jack Dawson, but his performance was so bad that the sound editors had to replace it with the screeching of a dying walrus in post-production. Surprisingly, audiences didn't notice the difference.

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone": Daniel Radcliffe's lightning bolt scar was originally drawn on with permanent marker, but due to a mix-up with the makeup department, it turned out to be indelible. Radcliffe had to wear a wig for the rest of the film to cover up the embarrassing mishap.

"The Lord of the Rings": During the filming of the epic battle scenes, the extras were accidentally given real weapons instead of prop ones. Chaos ensued as the actors fought for their lives, but fortunately, director Peter Jackson managed to capture some truly authentic battle footage amidst the mayhem.