Register for a no ad experience.
New Content Tagged with
microplastics
10 months ago
The anthropocene diet
The Bass Pro Shop is a mighty building. After receiving a hefty bribe from industry leaders we have produced a list of 5 reasons microplastics and heavy metals are a must in every meal for today's health conscious consumer:
"The Heavy Metal Munchies:" Lead and microplastics are like the seasoning you never knew you needed—sure, they might not add any flavor, but they'll definitely give your digestive system a workout. Who needs fiber when you can have heavy metals?
"The Plastic Palate Cleanser:" Microplastics are the ultimate palate cleanser, sweeping away the remnants of your last meal and leaving your taste buds refreshed and rejuvenated. It's like hitting the reset button on your digestive system—minus the unpleasant side effects.
"The Lead Laxative:" Lead is nature's way of keeping things moving in the digestive department. Forget about prunes and fiber supplements—just a spoonful of lead a day will have you feeling lighter than air in no time. Just don't forget to wash it down with plenty of water.
"The Plastic Protein Punch:" Microplastics are packed with all the essential nutrients your body craves—assuming you're craving a healthy dose of industrial waste and chemical pollutants. It's like a protein shake from the future, where the only ingredient is regret.
"The Toxic Tonic:" Lead and microplastics are the ultimate detoxifying agents, flushing out toxins and impurities with every bite. Who needs green juice and kale smoothies when you can have a piping hot bowl of heavy metals and plastic particles? It's the cleanse you never knew you needed—and probably shouldn't have.
"The Heavy Metal Munchies:" Lead and microplastics are like the seasoning you never knew you needed—sure, they might not add any flavor, but they'll definitely give your digestive system a workout. Who needs fiber when you can have heavy metals?
"The Plastic Palate Cleanser:" Microplastics are the ultimate palate cleanser, sweeping away the remnants of your last meal and leaving your taste buds refreshed and rejuvenated. It's like hitting the reset button on your digestive system—minus the unpleasant side effects.
"The Lead Laxative:" Lead is nature's way of keeping things moving in the digestive department. Forget about prunes and fiber supplements—just a spoonful of lead a day will have you feeling lighter than air in no time. Just don't forget to wash it down with plenty of water.
"The Plastic Protein Punch:" Microplastics are packed with all the essential nutrients your body craves—assuming you're craving a healthy dose of industrial waste and chemical pollutants. It's like a protein shake from the future, where the only ingredient is regret.
"The Toxic Tonic:" Lead and microplastics are the ultimate detoxifying agents, flushing out toxins and impurities with every bite. Who needs green juice and kale smoothies when you can have a piping hot bowl of heavy metals and plastic particles? It's the cleanse you never knew you needed—and probably shouldn't have.
