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marriage
8 months ago
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11 months ago
Live Fearlessly My Dear
That time of the month! Everybody knows how happy women get during that time! Annoying your wife with playful hijinks is a really good strategy to strengthen your relationship since if she doesn't kill you it's all working fine.
here are a few reasons why annoying your wife during her period is a good ideal
"The Hormonal Hijinks": Annoying your wife during her period is like playing a game of emotional roulette—never knowing whether you'll get tears, anger, or laughter in response. It's a wild ride of hormonal hijinks that keeps life interesting and your marriage on its toes.
"The PMS Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is a surefire way to unleash your inner prankster and keep the laughter flowing. From hiding the chocolate stash to hiding the remote control, it's all fair game when it comes to PMS-induced shenanigans.
"The Cramp Comedy Hour": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a dose of levity to the monthly cramp-fest. Whether you're cracking jokes or performing impromptu dance routines, anything to distract from the discomfort is fair game—even if it means risking a pillow to the face.
"The Menstrual Mischief Maker": Annoying your wife during her period is a time-honored tradition that keeps the marriage strong and the laughter flowing. Whether it's pretending not to understand her cryptic cravings or teasing her about her newfound superpowers of emotional intensity, it's all in good fun—until she breaks out the chocolate.
"The Period Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a splash of humor to the monthly cycle of mood swings and cravings. Whether you're leaving cheesy love notes around the house or serenading her with period-themed parodies of her favorite songs, it's a lighthearted way to weather the storm and keep the love alive.
here are a few reasons why annoying your wife during her period is a good ideal
"The Hormonal Hijinks": Annoying your wife during her period is like playing a game of emotional roulette—never knowing whether you'll get tears, anger, or laughter in response. It's a wild ride of hormonal hijinks that keeps life interesting and your marriage on its toes.
"The PMS Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is a surefire way to unleash your inner prankster and keep the laughter flowing. From hiding the chocolate stash to hiding the remote control, it's all fair game when it comes to PMS-induced shenanigans.
"The Cramp Comedy Hour": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a dose of levity to the monthly cramp-fest. Whether you're cracking jokes or performing impromptu dance routines, anything to distract from the discomfort is fair game—even if it means risking a pillow to the face.
"The Menstrual Mischief Maker": Annoying your wife during her period is a time-honored tradition that keeps the marriage strong and the laughter flowing. Whether it's pretending not to understand her cryptic cravings or teasing her about her newfound superpowers of emotional intensity, it's all in good fun—until she breaks out the chocolate.
"The Period Prankster": Annoying your wife during her period is like adding a splash of humor to the monthly cycle of mood swings and cravings. Whether you're leaving cheesy love notes around the house or serenading her with period-themed parodies of her favorite songs, it's a lighthearted way to weather the storm and keep the love alive.
11 months ago
A handy tool for a modern age
There's a few reasons why she might not want to sign a prenup! Here's a few:
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
11 months ago
Horribly Unwholesome
Caught being a terrible person. But cheating on your wife is Ok (only for assholes) So we thought up of a few reasons an asshole would think cheating on their wife is ok:
The Infidelity Ignorance: "Because cheating on your wife is like eating the last slice of pizza—you know it's wrong, but hey, someone's gotta do it, right? And who better than the resident asshole to take one for the team?"
The Disloyalty Delusion: "Because cheating on your wife is a surefire way to keep life exciting—who needs stability and trust when you can have drama and deceit? Only certified assholes understand the true thrill of keeping their partners on their toes!"
The Commitment Cop-Out: "Because cheating on your wife is just your way of showing her that you're too busy being an asshole to be tied down by silly things like monogamy and fidelity. Who needs a wedding vow when you've got a personal code of douchebaggery?"
The Marriage Misdirection: "Because cheating on your wife is the ultimate test of her love and devotion—only a true asshole would put their partner through such emotional turmoil just to prove a point. Who needs couples therapy when you can just gaslight your way to a stronger marriage?"
The Selfish Spouse: "Because cheating on your wife is like playing a game of emotional Russian roulette—sure, you might blow up your marriage in the process, but who cares when you're the one holding the trigger? Only assholes understand the true joy of watching everything go up in flames."
The Infidelity Ignorance: "Because cheating on your wife is like eating the last slice of pizza—you know it's wrong, but hey, someone's gotta do it, right? And who better than the resident asshole to take one for the team?"
The Disloyalty Delusion: "Because cheating on your wife is a surefire way to keep life exciting—who needs stability and trust when you can have drama and deceit? Only certified assholes understand the true thrill of keeping their partners on their toes!"
The Commitment Cop-Out: "Because cheating on your wife is just your way of showing her that you're too busy being an asshole to be tied down by silly things like monogamy and fidelity. Who needs a wedding vow when you've got a personal code of douchebaggery?"
The Marriage Misdirection: "Because cheating on your wife is the ultimate test of her love and devotion—only a true asshole would put their partner through such emotional turmoil just to prove a point. Who needs couples therapy when you can just gaslight your way to a stronger marriage?"
The Selfish Spouse: "Because cheating on your wife is like playing a game of emotional Russian roulette—sure, you might blow up your marriage in the process, but who cares when you're the one holding the trigger? Only assholes understand the true joy of watching everything go up in flames."
11 months ago
Rough for the kid
They both suck FAIL. DNA tests on the other hand are awesome and here's some reasons why:
The Genetic Game Show: "Because DNA tests are like a reality TV competition where you get to uncover the ultimate truth about your ancestry—move over, 'Survivor,' there's a new tribe in town, and they're all related!"
The Family Feud Fiesta: "Because DNA tests turn family reunions into a high-stakes guessing game—forget about potato sack races and three-legged races, the real competition is trying to guess which cousin twice removed is actually a long-lost sibling."
The Ancestry Antics: "Because DNA tests are like playing detective in a genetic mystery novel—except instead of solving crimes, you're uncovering scandalous secrets and hidden family skeletons. Who needs 'Sherlock Holmes' when you've got a swab and a test tube?"
The Surprise Spectacle: "Because DNA tests are like opening a surprise present on Christmas morning—except instead of getting a new toy or a pair of socks, you're finding out that your great-grandmother was actually a pirate queen or your uncle is secretly a long-lost member of the royal family."
The Identity Inquiry: "Because DNA tests are like taking a ride on the world's craziest roller coaster—except instead of twists and turns, you're navigating a wild ride through your own genetic code, discovering hidden talents, bizarre quirks, and the occasional unexpected mutation. Who needs amusement parks when you've got the double helix?"
The Genetic Game Show: "Because DNA tests are like a reality TV competition where you get to uncover the ultimate truth about your ancestry—move over, 'Survivor,' there's a new tribe in town, and they're all related!"
The Family Feud Fiesta: "Because DNA tests turn family reunions into a high-stakes guessing game—forget about potato sack races and three-legged races, the real competition is trying to guess which cousin twice removed is actually a long-lost sibling."
The Ancestry Antics: "Because DNA tests are like playing detective in a genetic mystery novel—except instead of solving crimes, you're uncovering scandalous secrets and hidden family skeletons. Who needs 'Sherlock Holmes' when you've got a swab and a test tube?"
The Surprise Spectacle: "Because DNA tests are like opening a surprise present on Christmas morning—except instead of getting a new toy or a pair of socks, you're finding out that your great-grandmother was actually a pirate queen or your uncle is secretly a long-lost member of the royal family."
The Identity Inquiry: "Because DNA tests are like taking a ride on the world's craziest roller coaster—except instead of twists and turns, you're navigating a wild ride through your own genetic code, discovering hidden talents, bizarre quirks, and the occasional unexpected mutation. Who needs amusement parks when you've got the double helix?"
11 months ago
What's wrong with some people
Never try this it might work but the people you get are trash. But why would it work? We invented a few reasons why:
The Fakeout Fling: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like having a built-in 'Sorry, I'm taken' sign for those persistent suitors—because nothing says 'back off' like a shiny ring that screams 'I'm married to my job, and my job is avoiding awkward conversations.'"
The Commitment Comedy: "Wearing a fake wedding band is the perfect excuse for avoiding those awkward 'Where do you see this going?' conversations—because who needs commitment when you've already committed to pretending to be committed?"
The Ring Ruse: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like carrying around a secret weapon in the battle against unwanted attention—because when all else fails, you can always resort to the classic 'I'm married... to my Netflix account.'"
The Marriage Mirage: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like playing dress-up in someone else's happily ever after—because who needs reality when you've got a shiny piece of metal that says 'I'm taken' louder than any actual relationship ever could?"
The Band Aid: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like slapping a Band-Aid on a social awkwardness wound—because sometimes, it's easier to pretend you're happily married to an imaginary spouse than it is to explain why you're still single at family gatherings."
The Fakeout Fling: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like having a built-in 'Sorry, I'm taken' sign for those persistent suitors—because nothing says 'back off' like a shiny ring that screams 'I'm married to my job, and my job is avoiding awkward conversations.'"
The Commitment Comedy: "Wearing a fake wedding band is the perfect excuse for avoiding those awkward 'Where do you see this going?' conversations—because who needs commitment when you've already committed to pretending to be committed?"
The Ring Ruse: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like carrying around a secret weapon in the battle against unwanted attention—because when all else fails, you can always resort to the classic 'I'm married... to my Netflix account.'"
The Marriage Mirage: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like playing dress-up in someone else's happily ever after—because who needs reality when you've got a shiny piece of metal that says 'I'm taken' louder than any actual relationship ever could?"
The Band Aid: "Wearing a fake wedding band is like slapping a Band-Aid on a social awkwardness wound—because sometimes, it's easier to pretend you're happily married to an imaginary spouse than it is to explain why you're still single at family gatherings."
