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home
11 months ago
Trim the branches guys
Or the Home Owners Association will fine you 500$ and you'll still have to trim them yourselves. If Karen the president is feeling especially malicious there are some medieval punishments from the HOA charter from 1500 she could enforce:
"The Leafy Lasso": The HOA enforces a new policy where they tie oversized branches to your ankles, effectively turning you into a human tree. You'll be forced to prance around your yard like a leafy cowboy until you learn your lesson and trim those branches.
"The Tree Tickle Torture": In a cruel twist of fate, the HOA recruits a team of mischievous squirrels armed with tickle feathers. These furry fiends are set loose in your yard, tasked with tickling you mercilessly until you agree to trim your trees. It's a punishment that's equal parts hilarious and horrifying.
"The Branch Bash Bonanza": Your neighbors organize a festive event where they gather to pummel you with inflatable tree branches until you're covered in bruises and regret. It's like a twisted version of piñata, except instead of candy, you're showered with splinters and shame.
"The Arboreal Avenger": The HOA unveils their latest creation—a robotic tree trimmer named "Arboreal Avenger." This lumbering behemoth roams the neighborhood, seeking out untrimmed trees and exacting its revenge with ruthless efficiency. Resistance is futile—just ask the neighbor who tried to hide behind their bushes.
"The Foliage Fashion Fiasco": As punishment for your leafy transgressions, the HOA decrees that you must wear a suit made entirely of tree branches and leaves for a month. It's like living out your worst nightmare as a walking shrubbery, complete with squirrels mistaking you for their new home.
"The Leafy Lasso": The HOA enforces a new policy where they tie oversized branches to your ankles, effectively turning you into a human tree. You'll be forced to prance around your yard like a leafy cowboy until you learn your lesson and trim those branches.
"The Tree Tickle Torture": In a cruel twist of fate, the HOA recruits a team of mischievous squirrels armed with tickle feathers. These furry fiends are set loose in your yard, tasked with tickling you mercilessly until you agree to trim your trees. It's a punishment that's equal parts hilarious and horrifying.
"The Branch Bash Bonanza": Your neighbors organize a festive event where they gather to pummel you with inflatable tree branches until you're covered in bruises and regret. It's like a twisted version of piñata, except instead of candy, you're showered with splinters and shame.
"The Arboreal Avenger": The HOA unveils their latest creation—a robotic tree trimmer named "Arboreal Avenger." This lumbering behemoth roams the neighborhood, seeking out untrimmed trees and exacting its revenge with ruthless efficiency. Resistance is futile—just ask the neighbor who tried to hide behind their bushes.
"The Foliage Fashion Fiasco": As punishment for your leafy transgressions, the HOA decrees that you must wear a suit made entirely of tree branches and leaves for a month. It's like living out your worst nightmare as a walking shrubbery, complete with squirrels mistaking you for their new home.
