gamer

Unlike this player who never nails anything

They have cool skins though, appropriate and cool. Everybody knows that when you're winning it's all you but when losing your team is to blame. here's a few reasons why that is always unequivocally true:

"The MVP Mix-Up": You're the reason you're winning the game because of your unmatched skills and sheer brilliance on the field. But when it comes to losing, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your superstar performance. They should've been taking notes instead of dropping the ball—literally.

"The Lone Ranger Rant": Winning the game is all thanks to your individual prowess and unmatched talent. But when the tides turn and victory slips through your fingers, it's obviously because your team couldn't handle the pressure of playing alongside a sports legend like yourself. Next time, maybe they'll learn to step up their game.

"The Superstar Scapegoat": You're the driving force behind every win, with your unmatched athleticism and strategic brilliance leading the charge. But when it comes to losses, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your unmatched genius. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.

"The MVP Mishap": You're the star player who single-handedly carries the team to victory with your unmatched skills and unwavering determination. But when it comes to defeat, it's obviously your team's fault for not being able to rise to your level of greatness. Next time, maybe they'll learn to pull their weight instead of dragging you down.

"The One-Man Showdown": You're the undisputed MVP of the game, with your unparalleled talent and unmatched skill leading the team to victory after victory. But when the scoreboard doesn't go your way, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to match your level of excellence. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.

So toxic you need hazmat gear. They should hate themselves at least a little since the game is a toxic cesspit. Here's a few reasons why league of Legends players hate themselves:

"The Jungler Jitters": "They've spent so much time wandering aimlessly through the jungle that they've forgotten what it's like to see sunlight. Every missed gank is a reminder of their failed attempts at socializing with the outside world."

"The Minion Malaise": "They've been out-CS'd by their own grandmother in an ARAM match. Watching those little minions farm more efficiently than they ever could is a soul-crushing experience."

"The Baron Blues": "They've stolen Baron with a blind Lux ultimate, only to have their team flame them for 'kill stealing.' It's a classic case of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'—and they're left wondering why they even bother."

"The Teemo Trepidation": "They've accidentally stepped on one too many Teemo shrooms and now suffer from PTSD every time they hear the sound of a mushroom popping. It's a constant reminder of their own foolishness and lack of map awareness."

"The Yasuo Yips": "They've been knocked up by one too many Yasuo ultimates and now question their life choices every time they hear 'Hasagi!' echoing in their nightmares. It's a special kind of self-loathing that only a Yasuo main can truly understand."

70$ never bought you as little. Marketing executives disagree for some reason so we asked one that requested to stay anonymous about the game prices. Between doing cocaine and Candy the stripper he said this:

"The Value Proposition Shuffle": "Our games are priced competitively to provide maximum value to our loyal customers. Sure, they may seem a bit pricey at first glance, but when you consider the hours of entertainment and immersive gameplay they provide, it's practically a steal. And hey, who needs to eat lunch every day when you can feast on the latest gaming experience?"

"The Investment Instigation Initiative": "We believe in offering our players the best possible gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While some may argue that our games are on the pricier side, we like to think of them as an investment in quality entertainment. After all, what's a few extra dollars when you're investing in hours of excitement and adventure?"

"The Cost-Conscious Conundrum": "At our company, we pride ourselves on offering affordable gaming options for players of all budgets. While it's true that our games may come with a higher price tag than some of our competitors, we believe that quality should never be compromised. Besides, who needs a fancy dinner out when you can dine on the immersive storytelling and cutting-edge graphics of our latest release?"

"The Budget-Friendly Facade": "We understand that gaming can be an expensive hobby, which is why we strive to keep our prices as low as possible. While some may argue that our games are a bit on the pricey side, we like to think of them as an investment in your entertainment future. After all, who needs a rainy day fund when you can spend your hard-earned cash on the thrill of virtual adventure?"

"The Subtle Spending Signal": "Our games are designed to provide the ultimate gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While it's true that our prices may seem a bit steep at first glance, we believe that the value they provide more than justifies the cost. And hey, who needs to worry about saving for retirement when you can spend your golden years reliving the excitement of our latest release?"

Never invited to Christmas or Thanksgiving either. But does this persons desire for Gamer Pussy warrant them getting disowned? We think NO and here's a few reasons why:

"The Grandma's Got Game Gaffe": "Because who knew Grandma was such a pro at Cards Against Humanity? Needing 'games pussy' is just another way of saying you're the reigning champion of family game night, and Grandma's not about to disown her star player."

"The Bingo Blunder": "Because when Grandpa mishears 'games pussy' as 'bingo pussy,' things take a hilariously awkward turn at the retirement home. But hey, at least you've got your priorities straight—whether it's scoring a bingo or finding a date for Saturday night."

"The Scrabble Scandal": "Because needing 'games pussy' is just a harmless slip of the tongue during a heated game of Scrabble. Sure, it may raise a few eyebrows, but Grandma's more concerned about whether 'pussy' is a legitimate word worth triple points."

"The Monopoly Misunderstanding": "Because when you're busy wheeling and dealing in Monopoly, sometimes your words get jumbled in the chaos. Needing 'games pussy' might sound scandalous, but Grandpa's too busy trying to mortgage Boardwalk to notice."

"The Uno Uproar": "Because when you shout 'I need games, pussy!' during a game of Uno, it's bound to cause a few laughs and maybe even a blush or two. But hey, it's all in good fun—just don't let Grandma catch you playing strip Uno afterwards."

Also if buying a game doesn't mean you own it piracy should be legal, but they don't like that do they?
We asked around and the best they came up as to why you don't own your games are these 5 reasons:

"The Glitch Gremlin Gambit": The game company claims that a mischievous glitch in their system caused your purchase to disappear into the digital void. According to their official statement, your game is now residing in the same mystical realm as missing socks and misplaced car keys.

"The Quantum Ownership Quandary": In a mind-bending twist, the game company insists that the concept of ownership is a mere illusion in the quantum realm of digital downloads. Apparently, your game exists in a state of simultaneous ownership and non-ownership until someone looks at it, at which point it collapses into one or the other.

"The Pirate Paranoia Plight": The game company blames a notorious band of digital pirates for absconding with your purchase and setting sail for the high seas of copyright infringement. According to their investigation, your game is now sailing the digital ocean, accompanied by a crew of swashbuckling software smugglers.

"The Cosmic Contractual Conundrum": Unbeknownst to you, buried deep within the terms and conditions of your purchase agreement is a clause stating that the game company reserves the right to reclaim your game at any time for undisclosed reasons. They assure you it's nothing personal; it's just business... or possibly dark magic.

"The Interdimensional Intellectual Property Impasse": Due to a rift in the space-time continuum, your game has slipped into a parallel universe where the laws of copyright and ownership are entirely different. According to the game company, retrieving your game would require navigating a labyrinth of alternate realities, time loops, and bureaucratic red tape.

Wish we knew if he realized after he was done lore dumping. Who knows maybe God Of War is simply better then sex? We've explored the possibly:

"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?

"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.

"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.

"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.

"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.

I prefer bringing my own thank you very much.
While League of Legends has a vibrant community, it's not immune to occasional toxicity. Here are five humorous reasons why some might jest that it's a "toxic cesspit":

"The Keyboard Warrior Brigade": League of Legends has its fair share of players who seem to believe that the keyboard is mightier than the sword. Prepare to be barraged by a barrage of insults, complaints, and creative expletives as you navigate the battlefield. Who needs allies when you have enemies like these?

"The Champion Select Circus": Champion select can feel like a high-stakes game of chicken, with players vying for their preferred roles and champions. Forget about teamwork; it's every man, woman, and yordle for themselves as players lock in their choices and pray they don't end up with a team comp straight out of a B-movie disaster flick.

"The Tower-Diving Daredevils": League of Legends players are known for their boldness, but sometimes, that boldness borders on sheer recklessness. Prepare to face off against teammates who think diving headfirst into a 1v5 situation is a perfectly viable strategy. Hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right?

"The Surrender Syndrome": Every game of League of Legends comes with its own rollercoaster of emotions, from the thrill of victory to the agony of defeat. But some players seem to have a particularly itchy trigger finger when it comes to hitting that surrender button. Why bother fighting to the bitter end when you can throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble?

"The Minion Mischief Makers": If there's one thing League of Legends players love more than securing victory, it's blaming their teammates for their defeat. Forget about analyzing your own mistakes; it's much easier to point fingers and assign blame to anyone and everyone who happens to be in the vicinity. After all, it's never your fault when you can blame the minions!