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New Content Tagged with
furry
7 months ago
10 months ago
Even free drugs wouldn't make me a furry
A very steep price to pay for anything in life. Here's a few reasons why the mention of free drugs would get some people clambering to put on their murrsuit:
The Fuzzy Freebies Fantasy: They heard furries get complimentary doses of "Furrycillin" to cure their existential woes, but little do they know it's just a placebo disguised as a fluffy tail.
The "Furry Friends Forever" Fairy Tale: They believe joining the furry community comes with a lifetime supply of free hugs, but soon discover it's more like a never-ending game of "hide and seek" with sweaty strangers in mascot costumes.
The Psychedelic Paw-ty Perk: Rumor has it furries have access to a secret stash of mind-altering substances called "Euphorifur," but it turns out it's just catnip and cheap glitter.
The Plushie Paradise Promise: They've been promised a plushie paradise where the streets are lined with cuddly companions, but soon realize it's just a marketing ploy to sell overpriced teddy bears and novelty tail-shaped butt plugs.
The "Furry Fandom FOMO" Fallacy: They're lured in by the promise of exclusive access to the hottest furry events and parties, only to discover that the only thing on the menu is lukewarm Mountain Dew and lukewarmer conversations about anthropomorphic Sonic fan art.
The Fuzzy Freebies Fantasy: They heard furries get complimentary doses of "Furrycillin" to cure their existential woes, but little do they know it's just a placebo disguised as a fluffy tail.
The "Furry Friends Forever" Fairy Tale: They believe joining the furry community comes with a lifetime supply of free hugs, but soon discover it's more like a never-ending game of "hide and seek" with sweaty strangers in mascot costumes.
The Psychedelic Paw-ty Perk: Rumor has it furries have access to a secret stash of mind-altering substances called "Euphorifur," but it turns out it's just catnip and cheap glitter.
The Plushie Paradise Promise: They've been promised a plushie paradise where the streets are lined with cuddly companions, but soon realize it's just a marketing ploy to sell overpriced teddy bears and novelty tail-shaped butt plugs.
The "Furry Fandom FOMO" Fallacy: They're lured in by the promise of exclusive access to the hottest furry events and parties, only to discover that the only thing on the menu is lukewarm Mountain Dew and lukewarmer conversations about anthropomorphic Sonic fan art.
10 months ago
Inside you are two wolves
Both are having a good time at your expense. Here are some possibilities of what could happen which somehow turned out decently wholesome! I'm as shocked as you are:
"Wolf Pack Shenanigans": You wake up to find yourself surrounded by a pack of wolves wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, passing around a coconut filled with fruity drinks. Turns out, they decided to throw a beach party in the middle of the forest—and you're the guest of honor.
"Werewolf Karaoke Night": You regain consciousness in a dimly lit forest clearing, where two wolf furies are belting out a duet of "Howl at the Moon" while the rest of the pack provides backup vocals. Looks like you stumbled into the world's wildest karaoke night—and you're up next.
"The Wolf Pack Wedding": You come to just in time to witness a wolf priest officiating a wedding ceremony between the two wolf furies who roofied you. As you struggle to make sense of the situation, you realize you've inadvertently become the best man at a wolf wedding—complete with a cake made of raw meat.
"Wolf Therapy Session": You find yourself lying on a mossy bed surrounded by attentive wolves, who take turns offering you heartfelt advice and supportive howls. Turns out, the wolf furies roofied you as part of their unconventional therapy session—and you're the star patient.
"The Great Wolf Heist": You regain consciousness to find yourself wearing a black ski mask and clutching a bag full of stolen goods, with the two wolf furies by your side wearing matching bandit masks. Turns out, you've just pulled off the greatest heist in forest history—and the wolves are the masterminds behind it all.
"Wolf Pack Shenanigans": You wake up to find yourself surrounded by a pack of wolves wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, passing around a coconut filled with fruity drinks. Turns out, they decided to throw a beach party in the middle of the forest—and you're the guest of honor.
"Werewolf Karaoke Night": You regain consciousness in a dimly lit forest clearing, where two wolf furies are belting out a duet of "Howl at the Moon" while the rest of the pack provides backup vocals. Looks like you stumbled into the world's wildest karaoke night—and you're up next.
"The Wolf Pack Wedding": You come to just in time to witness a wolf priest officiating a wedding ceremony between the two wolf furies who roofied you. As you struggle to make sense of the situation, you realize you've inadvertently become the best man at a wolf wedding—complete with a cake made of raw meat.
"Wolf Therapy Session": You find yourself lying on a mossy bed surrounded by attentive wolves, who take turns offering you heartfelt advice and supportive howls. Turns out, the wolf furies roofied you as part of their unconventional therapy session—and you're the star patient.
"The Great Wolf Heist": You regain consciousness to find yourself wearing a black ski mask and clutching a bag full of stolen goods, with the two wolf furies by your side wearing matching bandit masks. Turns out, you've just pulled off the greatest heist in forest history—and the wolves are the masterminds behind it all.
