couples

DO NOT do this!

Eggy head and the chicken have a beautiful future a head (get it?) of them but we still wanted to know why a bald head triggered this gorgeous blondes nesting instincts, so we obviously made some up:

"The Golden Glow Guarantee:" Sitting on your bald head is like basking in the warm glow of a radiant sunbeam—except instead of sunlight, it's the golden aura of your gleaming scalp. Who needs a tanning salon when you have the world's most reflective dome?

"The Bald Brilliance Buffet:" Your bald head is like a gourmet buffet for the senses, offering a smooth and inviting surface that's perfect for lounging. It's like sitting on a velvet cushion—only better, because it's attached to your head.

"The Chrome Dome Comfort Zone:" Your bald head is the ultimate comfort zone, offering a cozy perch for anyone seeking refuge from the chilly winds of life. It's like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket—only with less fabric and more follicle-free fun.

"The Eggcellent Empathy Experience:" Sitting on your bald head is like receiving a warm hug from a dear friend—it's comforting, nurturing, and oddly satisfying. It's like finding the perfect spot to nestle into on a cold winter's day, except instead of a cozy armchair, it's your shiny dome.

"The Smooth Scalp Snuggle:" Your bald head is like a plush pillow for the soul, offering a soft and inviting surface for anyone seeking solace and serenity. It's like finding the perfect spot to rest your weary bones—only with less cushioning and more cranium.

While wearing rose colored glasses the red flags were easily missed, You shouldn't miss your ex and here's why:

The Cheat Sheet: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a pop quiz in hell—sure, there's a chance you'll pass, but do you really want to risk it?"

The Infidelity Inconvenience: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a rerun of your least favorite TV show—sure, you might wonder how it ends, but you'll survive without the drama."

The Betrayal Backfire: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a leaky faucet—sure, it's annoying when it's dripping, but once it's fixed, you realize how much quieter life can be without the constant drip, drip, drip of betrayal."

The Deception Dilemma: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a bad case of food poisoning—sure, it was intense while it lasted, but now that it's over, you can finally enjoy a meal without the fear of projectile vomiting."

The Cheater's Conundrum: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a flat tire on a road trip—sure, it's a bump in the road, but once you change it and keep driving, you realize how much smoother the journey is without the constant threat of a blowout."

In this case not having a phone.
Want more revenge? We have some options that won't land you in trouble with the cops:

The "Puppy Parcel": Since she always had a soft spot for furry friends, you decide to send her a monthly subscription of dog poop parcels. Each package comes with a note saying, "Thought you might enjoy cleaning up after something you love."

The "Billboard Betrayal": You rent a billboard on her daily commute route and display a Photoshopped image of her with a caption that reads, "Cheaters Never Prosper!" It's not illegal, but it sure is embarrassing!

The "Spam-a-Lot Scheme": You sign her email address up for every newsletter, spam email, and promotional offer imaginable. Her inbox becomes a chaotic mess of discount codes, dating site ads, and weight loss tips.

The "Social Media Switcheroo": You hack into her social media accounts (just kidding!) and replace all her photos with images of cartoon characters. Bonus points if you change her relationship status to "In a Relationship with SpongeBob SquarePants."

The "Gag Gift Gazette": You anonymously subscribe her to obscure magazines with titles like "The World of Moldy Cheese Collectors" or "Unicorn Enthusiast Weekly." Who knows, maybe she'll discover a new passion amidst the chaos of her mailbox.