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2 years ago
Everyone knows math is subjective
According to my bank account i'm not a millionaire but i chose to not agree
Here are five humorous reasons why math couldn't care less about your opinion:
Zero Sympathy Policy: Math operates on a strict "zero sympathy" policy. Whether you're struggling with calculus or crying over fractions, math remains as indifferent as the number zero itself.
Algebraic Apathy: Math isn't interested in your excuses or complaints. It's like that friend who nods along but secretly couldn't care less about your drama – it's just solving equations, not listening to your life story.
Geometry's Got No Time for Drama: Geometry is too busy calculating angles and measuring shapes to worry about your opinion. It's like the architect of the universe, constructing reality one triangle at a time, oblivious to your existential musings.
Statistical Stoicism: Statistics doesn't care if you think the odds are unfair. It's like a poker-faced gambler, rolling the dice and calculating probabilities with icy precision, indifferent to your hopes and dreams.
Calculus Can't Even: Calculus is like the Zen master of math – serene, detached, and utterly unimpressed by your existential crises. It's too busy integrating and differentiating to entertain your opinions about the meaning of life.
Here are five humorous reasons why math couldn't care less about your opinion:
Zero Sympathy Policy: Math operates on a strict "zero sympathy" policy. Whether you're struggling with calculus or crying over fractions, math remains as indifferent as the number zero itself.
Algebraic Apathy: Math isn't interested in your excuses or complaints. It's like that friend who nods along but secretly couldn't care less about your drama – it's just solving equations, not listening to your life story.
Geometry's Got No Time for Drama: Geometry is too busy calculating angles and measuring shapes to worry about your opinion. It's like the architect of the universe, constructing reality one triangle at a time, oblivious to your existential musings.
Statistical Stoicism: Statistics doesn't care if you think the odds are unfair. It's like a poker-faced gambler, rolling the dice and calculating probabilities with icy precision, indifferent to your hopes and dreams.
Calculus Can't Even: Calculus is like the Zen master of math – serene, detached, and utterly unimpressed by your existential crises. It's too busy integrating and differentiating to entertain your opinions about the meaning of life.
2 years ago
Dogs are smarter then we give them credit for
They absolutely can manipulate us. Because we're dumb? Maybe all we know is that dogs are smarter then all of us reading and writing this and here's a few reasons why:
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
2 years ago
Bear party
They look like they're having fun!
I'd love to go so I imagined up some reasons why I want to:
"Pawsitively Un-Bear-Lievable Snacks": Where else can you indulge in a buffet of salmon sushi, honey-glazed donuts, and picnic baskets overflowing with goodies? At a bear party, the snacks are as wild and unpredictable as the guests!
"Bearly Legal Dance Moves": From the cha-cha-cha to the electric slide, there's no shortage of hilariously mismatched dance styles on display. Who needs rhythm when you've got the sheer joy of busting a move with your furry friends?
"Growling Good Conversations": Ever wanted to engage in deep philosophical debates with a bear? At a bear party, anything goes! Whether you're discussing the merits of hibernation or the best technique for catching fish, you're guaranteed to have a roaring good time.
"Bear-aoke Battle Royale": Step up to the mic and unleash your inner diva with a round of bear-aoke! From classic hits to campfire sing-alongs, there's no shortage of opportunities to belt out your favorite tunes and earn the admiration of your ursine audience.
"Fur-ocious Fashion Showdown": Who wore it best: the grizzly in the flannel shirt or the polar bear in the Hawaiian shirt and shades? At a bear party, fashion takes a backseat to pure, unadulterated hilarity. Embrace your wild side and let your outfit roar!
I'd love to go so I imagined up some reasons why I want to:
"Pawsitively Un-Bear-Lievable Snacks": Where else can you indulge in a buffet of salmon sushi, honey-glazed donuts, and picnic baskets overflowing with goodies? At a bear party, the snacks are as wild and unpredictable as the guests!
"Bearly Legal Dance Moves": From the cha-cha-cha to the electric slide, there's no shortage of hilariously mismatched dance styles on display. Who needs rhythm when you've got the sheer joy of busting a move with your furry friends?
"Growling Good Conversations": Ever wanted to engage in deep philosophical debates with a bear? At a bear party, anything goes! Whether you're discussing the merits of hibernation or the best technique for catching fish, you're guaranteed to have a roaring good time.
"Bear-aoke Battle Royale": Step up to the mic and unleash your inner diva with a round of bear-aoke! From classic hits to campfire sing-alongs, there's no shortage of opportunities to belt out your favorite tunes and earn the admiration of your ursine audience.
"Fur-ocious Fashion Showdown": Who wore it best: the grizzly in the flannel shirt or the polar bear in the Hawaiian shirt and shades? At a bear party, fashion takes a backseat to pure, unadulterated hilarity. Embrace your wild side and let your outfit roar!
2 years ago
Don't do this to yourself
Just don't press enter and live in unaware bliss. But since all men need to hear this your penis is great King. Here's a few musings on why your penis is great and you should enjoy it:
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
2 years ago
2 years ago
Possibly Real Fox facts
I'm not a biologist so some of these might be true. Have some more Fox Facts we paid a disgraced biology professor on LSD to write for us :
"The Fox's Floral Fancies:" Foxes have a peculiar affinity for flowers, often seen frolicking in fields of daisies and tulips. Legend has it that they possess a secret language of flowers, using different blooms to convey messages to their woodland friends.
"The Fox's Fluffy Feathered Friends:" Foxes have a knack for befriending birds, forming unlikely alliances with feathered creatures of all shapes and sizes. It's said that they host bird tea parties in the forest, serving up treats and gossip with their avian companions.
"The Fox's Musical Mastery:" Foxes are natural musicians, often serenading the forest with their melodious tunes. Legend has it that they play enchanted instruments crafted from twigs and leaves, mesmerizing listeners with their haunting melodies under the light of the moon.
"The Fox's Fine Arts Expertise:" Foxes are connoisseurs of the arts, often spotted admiring paintings and sculptures in the forest. It's said that they host impromptu art exhibitions, showcasing their own masterpieces and critiquing the works of other woodland creatures with an expert eye.
"The Fox's Fiery Festivals:" Foxes are known for their love of fireworks, hosting spectacular firework displays in the forest to celebrate special occasions. Legend has it that they choreograph intricate pyrotechnic performances, lighting up the night sky with bursts of color and light.
"The Fox's Floral Fancies:" Foxes have a peculiar affinity for flowers, often seen frolicking in fields of daisies and tulips. Legend has it that they possess a secret language of flowers, using different blooms to convey messages to their woodland friends.
"The Fox's Fluffy Feathered Friends:" Foxes have a knack for befriending birds, forming unlikely alliances with feathered creatures of all shapes and sizes. It's said that they host bird tea parties in the forest, serving up treats and gossip with their avian companions.
"The Fox's Musical Mastery:" Foxes are natural musicians, often serenading the forest with their melodious tunes. Legend has it that they play enchanted instruments crafted from twigs and leaves, mesmerizing listeners with their haunting melodies under the light of the moon.
"The Fox's Fine Arts Expertise:" Foxes are connoisseurs of the arts, often spotted admiring paintings and sculptures in the forest. It's said that they host impromptu art exhibitions, showcasing their own masterpieces and critiquing the works of other woodland creatures with an expert eye.
"The Fox's Fiery Festivals:" Foxes are known for their love of fireworks, hosting spectacular firework displays in the forest to celebrate special occasions. Legend has it that they choreograph intricate pyrotechnic performances, lighting up the night sky with bursts of color and light.
2 years ago
More honesty then i'm ready to deal with
Seems these tests are really accurate lately. I've listed some of my talents below
The "Procrastination Prodigy":
"I've mastered the art of procrastination so well that I even procrastinate on procrastinating."
The "Recipe Ruiner" Reality:
"I can burn water. If there's a way to mess up a recipe, you can bet I'll find it."
The "Bedhead Boss" Blunder:
"I wake up looking like I just wrestled a tornado... and lost."
The "Tech Troublemaker" Tale:
"I'm the reason 'turn it off and on again' is the go-to tech support solution – because I break things just by looking at them."
The "Talentless Twirl" Tragedy:
"I dance like a giraffe on roller skates... with two left feet."
The "Procrastination Prodigy":
"I've mastered the art of procrastination so well that I even procrastinate on procrastinating."
The "Recipe Ruiner" Reality:
"I can burn water. If there's a way to mess up a recipe, you can bet I'll find it."
The "Bedhead Boss" Blunder:
"I wake up looking like I just wrestled a tornado... and lost."
The "Tech Troublemaker" Tale:
"I'm the reason 'turn it off and on again' is the go-to tech support solution – because I break things just by looking at them."
The "Talentless Twirl" Tragedy:
"I dance like a giraffe on roller skates... with two left feet."
