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11 months ago
The negotiator
Not the good one just A negotiator
He should try these strategies next
The "Reverse Psychology Ruse": Start negotiations by loudly declaring that you don't want what the other party is offering. Then sit back and wait for them to beg you to take it – because who wouldn't want something that nobody else wants, right?
The "Silent Treatment Tactic": Refuse to say a word during negotiations, hoping the awkward silence will make the other party so uncomfortable that they'll give in just to break the tension. After all, negotiation is just a game of chicken, right?
The "Bulldozer Blitz": Steamroll over the other party with aggressive demands and unreasonable ultimatums, assuming they'll be so intimidated that they'll agree to anything just to make you stop. Who needs compromise when you have brute force?
The "Complimentary Conundrum": Shower the other party with excessive compliments and flattery, hoping they'll be so flattered that they'll forget all about the actual terms of the negotiation. Who needs substance when you have charm?
The "Ultimate Bluffing Blunder": Make outrageous claims and promises during negotiations, assuming the other party will be too gullible to see through your bluff. After all, negotiation is just a high-stakes game of poker, right?
He should try these strategies next
The "Reverse Psychology Ruse": Start negotiations by loudly declaring that you don't want what the other party is offering. Then sit back and wait for them to beg you to take it – because who wouldn't want something that nobody else wants, right?
The "Silent Treatment Tactic": Refuse to say a word during negotiations, hoping the awkward silence will make the other party so uncomfortable that they'll give in just to break the tension. After all, negotiation is just a game of chicken, right?
The "Bulldozer Blitz": Steamroll over the other party with aggressive demands and unreasonable ultimatums, assuming they'll be so intimidated that they'll agree to anything just to make you stop. Who needs compromise when you have brute force?
The "Complimentary Conundrum": Shower the other party with excessive compliments and flattery, hoping they'll be so flattered that they'll forget all about the actual terms of the negotiation. Who needs substance when you have charm?
The "Ultimate Bluffing Blunder": Make outrageous claims and promises during negotiations, assuming the other party will be too gullible to see through your bluff. After all, negotiation is just a high-stakes game of poker, right?
11 months ago
My kind of consipracy theory
A real VIP -very important primate. All I want to take from this meme is the conspiracy theory is George W Bush is Harambe's father.
That's it I'm dead set on this. Here are 5 conspiracy theories eluding to the fact that George W Bush is Harambe's dad:
The Banana Bill: Rumor has it that George W. Bush's favorite snack during his presidency wasn't pretzels, but bananas. Some speculate that his affinity for this fruit led him to frequent visits to the zoo, where he developed a special bond with a certain gorilla named Harambe.
The Texas Troop Theory: Conspiracy theorists claim that George W. Bush, a proud Texan, has a secret militia of loyal gorillas hidden away in the Lone Star State. Harambe, being the most famous of these gorillas, is said to have been groomed for greatness from birth.
The Dubya DNA Debate: Unverified reports suggest that traces of presidential DNA were found in Harambe's enclosure shortly before his tragic demise. Some speculate that this was part of a covert operation to cover up the truth about Harambe's true parentage.
The Oval Office Orangutan: According to this theory, George W. Bush's family tree has a few unexpected branches—including a distant cousin who happened to be an orangutan. Could Harambe be the missing link between humans and primates in the Bush family tree?
The Wacky White House Wildlife: It's no secret that the White House has housed some unusual pets over the years, from alligators to raccoons. But could a gorilla named Harambe have been among them? Some believe that George W. Bush kept Harambe as a secret pet during his time in office, raising him like a son before releasing him into the wild.
That's it I'm dead set on this. Here are 5 conspiracy theories eluding to the fact that George W Bush is Harambe's dad:
The Banana Bill: Rumor has it that George W. Bush's favorite snack during his presidency wasn't pretzels, but bananas. Some speculate that his affinity for this fruit led him to frequent visits to the zoo, where he developed a special bond with a certain gorilla named Harambe.
The Texas Troop Theory: Conspiracy theorists claim that George W. Bush, a proud Texan, has a secret militia of loyal gorillas hidden away in the Lone Star State. Harambe, being the most famous of these gorillas, is said to have been groomed for greatness from birth.
The Dubya DNA Debate: Unverified reports suggest that traces of presidential DNA were found in Harambe's enclosure shortly before his tragic demise. Some speculate that this was part of a covert operation to cover up the truth about Harambe's true parentage.
The Oval Office Orangutan: According to this theory, George W. Bush's family tree has a few unexpected branches—including a distant cousin who happened to be an orangutan. Could Harambe be the missing link between humans and primates in the Bush family tree?
The Wacky White House Wildlife: It's no secret that the White House has housed some unusual pets over the years, from alligators to raccoons. But could a gorilla named Harambe have been among them? Some believe that George W. Bush kept Harambe as a secret pet during his time in office, raising him like a son before releasing him into the wild.
11 months ago
Love goals!
Find yourself a man that cooks and loves you like that
Food is the gateway to your girlfriends heart here are 5 reasons why
Mouthwatering Meltdown Maker: Your culinary creations have the power to make her melt faster than butter on a hot skillet. One taste and she's putty in your hands, eagerly awaiting your next delicious dish to devour.
Tongue-Tingling Taste Trips: Each bite sends her taste buds on a wild rollercoaster ride of ecstasy, leaving her craving more than just seconds. Your food isn't just delicious—it's downright addictive!
Saucy Sauce Seducer: Your secret sauce isn't just for flavor—it's a potent love potion that leaves her weak in the knees and yearning for more. Who knew a dollop of mayo could lead to such saucy shenanigans?
Steamy Steam Basket Surprise: Forget foreplay—your steam basket is the real MVP in the bedroom. As she watches the steam rise from your expertly prepared dumplings, she can't help but imagine herself as the filling in your tantalizing dumpling duo.
Gratuitous Gastronomic Gratification: Your kitchen isn't just a place for cooking—it's a veritable pleasure palace of gastronomic delights. With each dish you serve up, you're not just feeding her appetite—you're feeding her fantasies.
Food is the gateway to your girlfriends heart here are 5 reasons why
Mouthwatering Meltdown Maker: Your culinary creations have the power to make her melt faster than butter on a hot skillet. One taste and she's putty in your hands, eagerly awaiting your next delicious dish to devour.
Tongue-Tingling Taste Trips: Each bite sends her taste buds on a wild rollercoaster ride of ecstasy, leaving her craving more than just seconds. Your food isn't just delicious—it's downright addictive!
Saucy Sauce Seducer: Your secret sauce isn't just for flavor—it's a potent love potion that leaves her weak in the knees and yearning for more. Who knew a dollop of mayo could lead to such saucy shenanigans?
Steamy Steam Basket Surprise: Forget foreplay—your steam basket is the real MVP in the bedroom. As she watches the steam rise from your expertly prepared dumplings, she can't help but imagine herself as the filling in your tantalizing dumpling duo.
Gratuitous Gastronomic Gratification: Your kitchen isn't just a place for cooking—it's a veritable pleasure palace of gastronomic delights. With each dish you serve up, you're not just feeding her appetite—you're feeding her fantasies.
11 months ago
A handy tool for a modern age
There's a few reasons why she might not want to sign a prenup! Here's a few:
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
11 months ago
HA doesn't help
BS doesn't either.
Ads are a part of the fun! That's why we have to compensate with a lot of memes for members (since you see none if you log in).
Here are some reasons a company might tell you disabling ads on the tv you bought own and paid for is never good:
"Because who needs uninterrupted viewing when you can play 'ad bingo' and guess which product will pop up next? It's like a surprise party for your remote control!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your living room into a free-market battleground? It's like Black Friday every day, but without the bruises!"
"Forget peace and quiet! Embrace the chaos of commercial breaks! It's like a mini-vacation to 'Adland,' where the grass is always greener and the jingles never end!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your TV into a pop culture time machine? It's like traveling back to the '80s, but with more product placement!"
"Who needs sanity when you can have a constant barrage of advertising? It's like having a personal salesperson in your living room, 24/7! Because nothing says 'relaxation' like being told what to buy every five minutes!"
Ads are a part of the fun! That's why we have to compensate with a lot of memes for members (since you see none if you log in).
Here are some reasons a company might tell you disabling ads on the tv you bought own and paid for is never good:
"Because who needs uninterrupted viewing when you can play 'ad bingo' and guess which product will pop up next? It's like a surprise party for your remote control!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your living room into a free-market battleground? It's like Black Friday every day, but without the bruises!"
"Forget peace and quiet! Embrace the chaos of commercial breaks! It's like a mini-vacation to 'Adland,' where the grass is always greener and the jingles never end!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your TV into a pop culture time machine? It's like traveling back to the '80s, but with more product placement!"
"Who needs sanity when you can have a constant barrage of advertising? It's like having a personal salesperson in your living room, 24/7! Because nothing says 'relaxation' like being told what to buy every five minutes!"
11 months ago
Understandable with that name
His rage is fully understandable
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
8 months ago
