Register for a no ad experience.
1 year ago
Fooled by this cunning boy
A master of deceit , was probably a spy in a past life
Here are five humorous signs your dog might be smarter than you:
The "Fetch Fiend": Your dog has trained you to play fetch with them for hours on end, while they sit back and watch you do all the work. Who's really the one fetching here?
The "Treat Trickster": Your dog has mastered the art of puppy dog eyes and knows exactly how to manipulate you into giving them treats on demand. You're putty in their paws!
The "Door Dash Dynamo": Your dog has figured out how to open doors and let themselves in and out of the house whenever they please. Meanwhile, you're still struggling to remember where you left your keys.
The "Couch Commando": Your dog has claimed the best spot on the couch and refuses to move, effectively establishing themselves as the ruler of the living room. You're relegated to the floor while they enjoy prime seating.
The "Escape Artist": Your dog has managed to escape from every crate, pen, and fence you've tried to confine them with, leaving you scratching your head and wondering how they pulled off their latest Houdini act.
Here are five humorous signs your dog might be smarter than you:
The "Fetch Fiend": Your dog has trained you to play fetch with them for hours on end, while they sit back and watch you do all the work. Who's really the one fetching here?
The "Treat Trickster": Your dog has mastered the art of puppy dog eyes and knows exactly how to manipulate you into giving them treats on demand. You're putty in their paws!
The "Door Dash Dynamo": Your dog has figured out how to open doors and let themselves in and out of the house whenever they please. Meanwhile, you're still struggling to remember where you left your keys.
The "Couch Commando": Your dog has claimed the best spot on the couch and refuses to move, effectively establishing themselves as the ruler of the living room. You're relegated to the floor while they enjoy prime seating.
The "Escape Artist": Your dog has managed to escape from every crate, pen, and fence you've tried to confine them with, leaving you scratching your head and wondering how they pulled off their latest Houdini act.
1 year ago
Best insult i've heard
It's free real estate. Here's more dick related high school insults:
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
10 months ago
1 year ago
Don't mess with bears
Better eat your words before a bear eats you, speaking of which here are 5 ways an insulted scorned bear could catch and eat you!
It invites you to a "friendly" game of tag: You think you're safe as you dart through the trees, until you realize the bear's version of tag involves a lot more teeth and claws.
It challenges you to a dance-off: You accept the challenge, thinking you've got some slick moves. Little do you know, the bear's idea of dancing involves a quick tango followed by a snack—guess who's the appetizer?
It offers to give you a piggyback ride: You hop on its back, feeling triumphant... until you realize the destination is its den, and you're the main course.
It suggests a game of hide-and-seek: You find what you think is the perfect hiding spot behind a bush, only to realize too late that it's the bear's favorite nap spot.
It asks for a selfie together: You eagerly pull out your phone, ready to capture the moment. Just as you strike a pose, the bear's jaws close around you, making for a truly unforgettable photo op (for the bear, at least).
It invites you to a "friendly" game of tag: You think you're safe as you dart through the trees, until you realize the bear's version of tag involves a lot more teeth and claws.
It challenges you to a dance-off: You accept the challenge, thinking you've got some slick moves. Little do you know, the bear's idea of dancing involves a quick tango followed by a snack—guess who's the appetizer?
It offers to give you a piggyback ride: You hop on its back, feeling triumphant... until you realize the destination is its den, and you're the main course.
It suggests a game of hide-and-seek: You find what you think is the perfect hiding spot behind a bush, only to realize too late that it's the bear's favorite nap spot.
It asks for a selfie together: You eagerly pull out your phone, ready to capture the moment. Just as you strike a pose, the bear's jaws close around you, making for a truly unforgettable photo op (for the bear, at least).
10 months ago
1 year ago
McDonalds ice cream machine
Not the hardest riddle.
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
11 months ago
