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1 year ago
The opposite of wholesome
This just bummed me out a bit
Here are five cringeworthy social media statuses about breakups:
"Just changed my relationship status to 'single'... because apparently, 'in a relationship with Netflix' isn't a valid option. #NetflixAndNoChill"
"It's official: I'm now accepting applications for a rebound relationship. Must love dogs and tolerate my questionable taste in romantic comedies. Apply within!"
"Breaking up is like unfollowing someone in real life. Consider this your notification that I'm unfriending you from my heart. #UnfriendZone"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm now single and ready to mingle with anyone who doesn't snore louder than a chainsaw. #NoSnoreMoreAmour"
"Just realized my ex's favorite emoji was the trash can. Well, joke's on them – I've upgraded to the recycling bin. ♻️ #DumpedAndGreen"
Here are five cringeworthy social media statuses about breakups:
"Just changed my relationship status to 'single'... because apparently, 'in a relationship with Netflix' isn't a valid option. #NetflixAndNoChill"
"It's official: I'm now accepting applications for a rebound relationship. Must love dogs and tolerate my questionable taste in romantic comedies. Apply within!"
"Breaking up is like unfollowing someone in real life. Consider this your notification that I'm unfriending you from my heart. #UnfriendZone"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm now single and ready to mingle with anyone who doesn't snore louder than a chainsaw. #NoSnoreMoreAmour"
"Just realized my ex's favorite emoji was the trash can. Well, joke's on them – I've upgraded to the recycling bin. ♻️ #DumpedAndGreen"
1 year ago
1 year ago
Her love is a cult
She keeps lovebombing him, so maybe join her cult then? Here are 5 reasons you should join your girlfriends creepy cult:
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Rude but honest
Follow him for more flirting tips, here are five humorous reasons a food delivery person might love an overweight woman customer:
Endless Appetite Appreciation: Who wouldn't love delivering to someone who appreciates food as much as they do? The delivery person knows they'll always be met with excitement and enthusiasm, making every delivery feel like a culinary victory.
Generous Tips Galore: Overweight customers are notorious for their generous tipping habits, ensuring that the delivery person's pockets are always lined with extra cash. Plus, they might even get treated to a bonus snack or two as a token of appreciation!
Built-in Taste Tester: With an overweight customer, there's always the chance of being invited in for a taste test of their latest culinary creations. From homemade cookies to decadent desserts, the delivery person gets to enjoy the perks of being a taste tester on the job.
Friendly Fitness Motivation: Overweight customers are often the most appreciative of a little extra exercise, giving the delivery person the perfect opportunity to get their steps in for the day. It's like getting paid to work out—what's not to love?
Instant Fan Club: Overweight customers are known for their warmth and friendliness, making every delivery feel like a reunion with an old friend. The delivery person knows they'll always be greeted with a smile and maybe even a hug, making their job feel more like a social outing than work.
Endless Appetite Appreciation: Who wouldn't love delivering to someone who appreciates food as much as they do? The delivery person knows they'll always be met with excitement and enthusiasm, making every delivery feel like a culinary victory.
Generous Tips Galore: Overweight customers are notorious for their generous tipping habits, ensuring that the delivery person's pockets are always lined with extra cash. Plus, they might even get treated to a bonus snack or two as a token of appreciation!
Built-in Taste Tester: With an overweight customer, there's always the chance of being invited in for a taste test of their latest culinary creations. From homemade cookies to decadent desserts, the delivery person gets to enjoy the perks of being a taste tester on the job.
Friendly Fitness Motivation: Overweight customers are often the most appreciative of a little extra exercise, giving the delivery person the perfect opportunity to get their steps in for the day. It's like getting paid to work out—what's not to love?
Instant Fan Club: Overweight customers are known for their warmth and friendliness, making every delivery feel like a reunion with an old friend. The delivery person knows they'll always be greeted with a smile and maybe even a hug, making their job feel more like a social outing than work.
1 year ago
She's a keeper and you should have married her
That's a cool move not a red flag. You sure remembered her ! More people should try this because only weak minds can't see the positives. We've got your back we're spelling them out for you:
"The Beefy Burrito Brilliance": Eating your steak like a taco showcases your ingenuity in culinary fusion—combining the best of Tex-Mex and carnivorous cravings in one delicious bite. Who needs tortillas when you have perfectly seared beef as the vessel?
"The Steak Standout Strategy": By eschewing traditional utensils in favor of the taco method, you're boldly asserting your dominance as a steak connoisseur. It's like saying, "I don't just eat steak—I elevate it to a whole new level of gastronomic greatness."
"The Carnivorous Cowboy Conquest": Eating your steak like a taco is a nod to your wild-west roots, channeling the spirit of cowboys and cattle drives with every juicy bite. It's like wrangling flavor-packed goodness in a handheld masterpiece—a true testament to your frontier spirit.
"The Taco Tango Triumph": Embracing the taco approach to steak consumption shows off your impeccable balance and coordination—because who needs a plate and fork when you can dance the tango of flavors with every savory mouthful?
"The GOAT: Greatest Of All Tacos": By eating your steak like a taco, you're not just enjoying a meal—you're crafting a culinary masterpiece that elevates you to legendary status. It's like ascending to the pantheon of foodie gods, where only the boldest and most innovative dare to tread.
"The Beefy Burrito Brilliance": Eating your steak like a taco showcases your ingenuity in culinary fusion—combining the best of Tex-Mex and carnivorous cravings in one delicious bite. Who needs tortillas when you have perfectly seared beef as the vessel?
"The Steak Standout Strategy": By eschewing traditional utensils in favor of the taco method, you're boldly asserting your dominance as a steak connoisseur. It's like saying, "I don't just eat steak—I elevate it to a whole new level of gastronomic greatness."
"The Carnivorous Cowboy Conquest": Eating your steak like a taco is a nod to your wild-west roots, channeling the spirit of cowboys and cattle drives with every juicy bite. It's like wrangling flavor-packed goodness in a handheld masterpiece—a true testament to your frontier spirit.
"The Taco Tango Triumph": Embracing the taco approach to steak consumption shows off your impeccable balance and coordination—because who needs a plate and fork when you can dance the tango of flavors with every savory mouthful?
"The GOAT: Greatest Of All Tacos": By eating your steak like a taco, you're not just enjoying a meal—you're crafting a culinary masterpiece that elevates you to legendary status. It's like ascending to the pantheon of foodie gods, where only the boldest and most innovative dare to tread.
