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1 year ago
More honesty then i'm ready to deal with
Seems these tests are really accurate lately. I've listed some of my talents below
The "Procrastination Prodigy":
"I've mastered the art of procrastination so well that I even procrastinate on procrastinating."
The "Recipe Ruiner" Reality:
"I can burn water. If there's a way to mess up a recipe, you can bet I'll find it."
The "Bedhead Boss" Blunder:
"I wake up looking like I just wrestled a tornado... and lost."
The "Tech Troublemaker" Tale:
"I'm the reason 'turn it off and on again' is the go-to tech support solution – because I break things just by looking at them."
The "Talentless Twirl" Tragedy:
"I dance like a giraffe on roller skates... with two left feet."
The "Procrastination Prodigy":
"I've mastered the art of procrastination so well that I even procrastinate on procrastinating."
The "Recipe Ruiner" Reality:
"I can burn water. If there's a way to mess up a recipe, you can bet I'll find it."
The "Bedhead Boss" Blunder:
"I wake up looking like I just wrestled a tornado... and lost."
The "Tech Troublemaker" Tale:
"I'm the reason 'turn it off and on again' is the go-to tech support solution – because I break things just by looking at them."
The "Talentless Twirl" Tragedy:
"I dance like a giraffe on roller skates... with two left feet."
1 year ago
My buddy wrote this article
Just like me he is possibly not a cat but you can't prove anything
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
The Seaguls don't work for us
Even if they did I'd assume you wouldn't legally have to pay them. But what if they DID work for you? Taxes pension and full seagull employee benefits?
Here's what we would do if we ran a fry stand and our seagull employees stole customers food:
The Seagull Stockade: Construct a tiny bird-sized stockade on the beach and publicly shame the offending seagulls by locking them up for all to see. Bonus points for adding tiny "Wanted" posters with their mugshots plastered all over town.
The Seagull Sensitivity Training: Enroll the mischievous seagulls in a mandatory sensitivity training program to teach them the importance of respecting personal property and boundaries. It's time they learned that stealing fries is not a victimless crime!
The Seagull Hair Salon: Transform the pesky seagulls into fashion icons by giving them outrageous makeovers at the local bird salon. Picture seagulls strutting down the boardwalk with brightly colored feathers and stylish accessories, too fabulous to bother with stealing fries.
The Seagull Scarecrow Squad: Recruit a team of scarecrows dressed in beach attire to patrol the coastline and keep the seagulls in check. With their menacing stares and exaggerated flapping arms, they'll strike fear into the hearts of any seagull contemplating a fry heist.
The Seagull Street Performers: Turn the tables on the seagulls by putting them to work as street performers, entertaining beachgoers with their impressive acrobatic skills and synchronized flying routines. Who needs a seagull stealing your fries when you can watch them perform daring aerial stunts instead?
Here's what we would do if we ran a fry stand and our seagull employees stole customers food:
The Seagull Stockade: Construct a tiny bird-sized stockade on the beach and publicly shame the offending seagulls by locking them up for all to see. Bonus points for adding tiny "Wanted" posters with their mugshots plastered all over town.
The Seagull Sensitivity Training: Enroll the mischievous seagulls in a mandatory sensitivity training program to teach them the importance of respecting personal property and boundaries. It's time they learned that stealing fries is not a victimless crime!
The Seagull Hair Salon: Transform the pesky seagulls into fashion icons by giving them outrageous makeovers at the local bird salon. Picture seagulls strutting down the boardwalk with brightly colored feathers and stylish accessories, too fabulous to bother with stealing fries.
The Seagull Scarecrow Squad: Recruit a team of scarecrows dressed in beach attire to patrol the coastline and keep the seagulls in check. With their menacing stares and exaggerated flapping arms, they'll strike fear into the hearts of any seagull contemplating a fry heist.
The Seagull Street Performers: Turn the tables on the seagulls by putting them to work as street performers, entertaining beachgoers with their impressive acrobatic skills and synchronized flying routines. Who needs a seagull stealing your fries when you can watch them perform daring aerial stunts instead?
1 year ago
1 year ago
Strangely wholesome
Bet she didn't expect that reply.
Some flirting examples we believe this guy might have used:
"Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. But seriously, I respect your personal space and boundaries, so if you're not interested, that's totally cool."
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Just kidding, I understand that consent is key, so I'll wait for your signal before making any moves."
"Excuse me, do you have a name, or can I call you mine? Okay, that was a bit forward. Let's start with introductions and see where it goes, with your comfort level as the priority."
"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te. But seriously, I value meaningful connections over cheesy pickup lines, so let's get to know each other as friends first."
"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for. But seriously, I believe in genuine connections built on mutual respect and understanding, so let's chat like two respectful adults and see where it leads."
Some flirting examples we believe this guy might have used:
"Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. But seriously, I respect your personal space and boundaries, so if you're not interested, that's totally cool."
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Just kidding, I understand that consent is key, so I'll wait for your signal before making any moves."
"Excuse me, do you have a name, or can I call you mine? Okay, that was a bit forward. Let's start with introductions and see where it goes, with your comfort level as the priority."
"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te. But seriously, I value meaningful connections over cheesy pickup lines, so let's get to know each other as friends first."
"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for. But seriously, I believe in genuine connections built on mutual respect and understanding, so let's chat like two respectful adults and see where it leads."
