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9 months ago
12 months ago
Not the best date night
This must be an old meme imagine only spending 42$ to eat out unsucked dick or not.
Here are five whimsical reasons why a date might not go as planned despite spending $42 at Red Lobster:
"The Crabby Customer Catastrophe": Your date turns out to be allergic to shellfish, and the mere sight of a lobster tail sends them into a sneezing fit. Suddenly, your romantic seafood dinner feels more like an episode of "Allergy Attack at Red Lobster."
"The Lobster Love Triangle": Just as you're about to enjoy your meal, your date spots their ex across the restaurant—holding hands with a giant lobster mascot. Suddenly, your dinner plans take a crustaceous turn as you find yourself caught in a love triangle of shell-shocking proportions.
"The Biscuit Bandit Incident": You reach for the last cheddar bay biscuit, only to have your date snatch it away with lightning speed. As you watch in disbelief, they devour the biscuit in one bite, leaving you biscuit-less and bewildered. Who knew a biscuit could come between true love?
"The Seafood Sensation Showdown": Your date insists on ordering the most expensive item on the menu—a seafood platter fit for Poseidon himself. But when it arrives, they discover they have an aversion to anything that swims, sending your romantic evening into a tailspin of seafood-induced shenanigans.
"The Red Lobster Curse": Legend has it that anyone who spends exactly $42 at Red Lobster is doomed to have their date fail and their dick remain unsucked at the end of the night. As you glance at the bill and realize you've hit the cursed number on the dot, you can't help but wonder if there's some truth to the old tale.
Here are five whimsical reasons why a date might not go as planned despite spending $42 at Red Lobster:
"The Crabby Customer Catastrophe": Your date turns out to be allergic to shellfish, and the mere sight of a lobster tail sends them into a sneezing fit. Suddenly, your romantic seafood dinner feels more like an episode of "Allergy Attack at Red Lobster."
"The Lobster Love Triangle": Just as you're about to enjoy your meal, your date spots their ex across the restaurant—holding hands with a giant lobster mascot. Suddenly, your dinner plans take a crustaceous turn as you find yourself caught in a love triangle of shell-shocking proportions.
"The Biscuit Bandit Incident": You reach for the last cheddar bay biscuit, only to have your date snatch it away with lightning speed. As you watch in disbelief, they devour the biscuit in one bite, leaving you biscuit-less and bewildered. Who knew a biscuit could come between true love?
"The Seafood Sensation Showdown": Your date insists on ordering the most expensive item on the menu—a seafood platter fit for Poseidon himself. But when it arrives, they discover they have an aversion to anything that swims, sending your romantic evening into a tailspin of seafood-induced shenanigans.
"The Red Lobster Curse": Legend has it that anyone who spends exactly $42 at Red Lobster is doomed to have their date fail and their dick remain unsucked at the end of the night. As you glance at the bill and realize you've hit the cursed number on the dot, you can't help but wonder if there's some truth to the old tale.
12 months ago
Gambling with his health
Winning just means he can keep all his fingers
After he's done he might try these out
The "Lawnmower Limbo": Attempting to limbo under a running lawnmower at your neighbor's barbecue, risking a new hairstyle (or lack thereof) and a rather awkward conversation with your barber.
The "Microwave Marathon": Trying to cook an entire Thanksgiving turkey in the microwave to save time, risking a fiery explosion and an impromptu visit from the fire department.
The "High-Speed Snacking": Trying to eat a bowl of cereal while driving on the freeway during rush hour, risking a milkshake disaster and becoming the subject of the next viral dashcam video.
The "Daredevil DIY": Attempting to fix your leaky roof using nothing but duct tape and a stapler, risking a DIY disaster and a rather soggy living room ceiling.
The "Extreme Selfie Challenge": Trying to take the perfect selfie while standing on the edge of a cliff, risking becoming the star of the next "Fail Compilation" video on YouTube.
After he's done he might try these out
The "Lawnmower Limbo": Attempting to limbo under a running lawnmower at your neighbor's barbecue, risking a new hairstyle (or lack thereof) and a rather awkward conversation with your barber.
The "Microwave Marathon": Trying to cook an entire Thanksgiving turkey in the microwave to save time, risking a fiery explosion and an impromptu visit from the fire department.
The "High-Speed Snacking": Trying to eat a bowl of cereal while driving on the freeway during rush hour, risking a milkshake disaster and becoming the subject of the next viral dashcam video.
The "Daredevil DIY": Attempting to fix your leaky roof using nothing but duct tape and a stapler, risking a DIY disaster and a rather soggy living room ceiling.
The "Extreme Selfie Challenge": Trying to take the perfect selfie while standing on the edge of a cliff, risking becoming the star of the next "Fail Compilation" video on YouTube.
12 months ago
Bit insensitive but we all love these right?
I'd be happy with such a bounty though!
This should never be racial that's just an amazing food combo and here are some reasons why:
"The Flavor Fusion Fiesta": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon bring together the ultimate flavor explosion that's like a party in your mouth! It's a culinary carnival where sweet meets savory in a dance of deliciousness that leaves taste buds tingling with joy.
"The Picnic Palooza Powerhouse": Nothing says summertime fun like a picnic featuring grape soda fried chicken and watermelon. It's the ultimate outdoor feast that brings people together for a day of laughter, sunshine, and good eats. Who needs fancy hors d'oeuvres when you can have finger-lickin' goodness?
"The Quirky Comfort Combo": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are like old friends that never fail to lift your spirits and warm your heart. It's comfort food with a twist, a nostalgic nod to simpler times when life was sweet, savory, and oh-so-satisfying.
"The Festive Flavor Fantasy": Whether you're celebrating a birthday, a barbecue, or just the fact that it's Tuesday, grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the perfect party companions. With their vibrant colors and bold flavors, they're like the life of the party in edible form.
"The Sweet and Savory Symphony": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the culinary equivalent of a symphony orchestra, with each bite playing a different note in a melody of mouthwatering goodness. It's a gastronomic masterpiece that deserves a standing ovation (and maybe a second helping).
This should never be racial that's just an amazing food combo and here are some reasons why:
"The Flavor Fusion Fiesta": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon bring together the ultimate flavor explosion that's like a party in your mouth! It's a culinary carnival where sweet meets savory in a dance of deliciousness that leaves taste buds tingling with joy.
"The Picnic Palooza Powerhouse": Nothing says summertime fun like a picnic featuring grape soda fried chicken and watermelon. It's the ultimate outdoor feast that brings people together for a day of laughter, sunshine, and good eats. Who needs fancy hors d'oeuvres when you can have finger-lickin' goodness?
"The Quirky Comfort Combo": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are like old friends that never fail to lift your spirits and warm your heart. It's comfort food with a twist, a nostalgic nod to simpler times when life was sweet, savory, and oh-so-satisfying.
"The Festive Flavor Fantasy": Whether you're celebrating a birthday, a barbecue, or just the fact that it's Tuesday, grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the perfect party companions. With their vibrant colors and bold flavors, they're like the life of the party in edible form.
"The Sweet and Savory Symphony": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the culinary equivalent of a symphony orchestra, with each bite playing a different note in a melody of mouthwatering goodness. It's a gastronomic masterpiece that deserves a standing ovation (and maybe a second helping).
10 months ago
12 months ago
It saves money so it's fine
Weird that their kids having a mysterious benefactors doesn't raise any red flags.
Here are five unrealistically stupid tropes about adults in Christmas movies where Santa is real:
The "Belief Blindspot": No matter how much evidence they encounter, the adults in these movies stubbornly refuse to believe in Santa Claus. They'll witness flying reindeer, elves building toys, and even catch glimpses of the man in the red suit himself, yet they dismiss it all as elaborate pranks or hallucinations.
The "Workaholic Wipeout": In these movies, the adults are often portrayed as workaholics who prioritize their careers over everything else, including spending time with their families during the holidays. They'll miss obvious signs of Santa's presence because they're too busy checking their email or attending yet another business meeting.
The "Inept Investigators": When strange occurrences start happening around Christmas time, the adults suddenly turn into bumbling detectives, stumbling over obvious clues and jumping to ridiculous conclusions. Instead of considering the possibility of Santa's existence, they come up with outlandish theories involving aliens, government conspiracies, or rogue snowmen.
The "Santa Scoffers": Despite living in a world where Santa Claus is undeniably real, some adults in these movies will go to great lengths to debunk his existence. They'll organize anti-Santa rallies, start social media campaigns to "expose" him as a fraud, and even petition the government to launch an investigation into his North Pole operations.
The "Miracle Muggles": Even after witnessing the magic of Christmas firsthand, some adults in these movies remain skeptical and cynical, refusing to embrace the spirit of the season. They'll scoff at acts of kindness, roll their eyes at carolers, and grumble about holiday decorations, completely missing out on the joy and wonder of the holiday season.
Here are five unrealistically stupid tropes about adults in Christmas movies where Santa is real:
The "Belief Blindspot": No matter how much evidence they encounter, the adults in these movies stubbornly refuse to believe in Santa Claus. They'll witness flying reindeer, elves building toys, and even catch glimpses of the man in the red suit himself, yet they dismiss it all as elaborate pranks or hallucinations.
The "Workaholic Wipeout": In these movies, the adults are often portrayed as workaholics who prioritize their careers over everything else, including spending time with their families during the holidays. They'll miss obvious signs of Santa's presence because they're too busy checking their email or attending yet another business meeting.
The "Inept Investigators": When strange occurrences start happening around Christmas time, the adults suddenly turn into bumbling detectives, stumbling over obvious clues and jumping to ridiculous conclusions. Instead of considering the possibility of Santa's existence, they come up with outlandish theories involving aliens, government conspiracies, or rogue snowmen.
The "Santa Scoffers": Despite living in a world where Santa Claus is undeniably real, some adults in these movies will go to great lengths to debunk his existence. They'll organize anti-Santa rallies, start social media campaigns to "expose" him as a fraud, and even petition the government to launch an investigation into his North Pole operations.
The "Miracle Muggles": Even after witnessing the magic of Christmas firsthand, some adults in these movies remain skeptical and cynical, refusing to embrace the spirit of the season. They'll scoff at acts of kindness, roll their eyes at carolers, and grumble about holiday decorations, completely missing out on the joy and wonder of the holiday season.
12 months ago
The cat would apreciate it
Or not i don't know i'm not really a cat...or am i? Here I even have proof maybe
"Keyboard Cat-tastrophy Avoided":
"Given the lack of paw prints on the keyboard, it's safe to assume this writer is not a feline mastermind. No accidental 'cat-typing' here – just human fingers doing the typing!"
"No Fur-ocious Typos":
"With impeccable spelling and grammar, it's clear this writer has opposable thumbs and not fluffy paws. No 'meow-sakes' to be found – just purr-fectly crafted sentences!"
"Lack of Random Napping":
"Unlike a cat, this writer hasn't suddenly dozed off mid-sentence, leaving behind a trail of z's. Looks like they're staying awake and focused – a clear sign of human behavior!"
"Allergic to Cat-astrophes":
"With a distinct absence of knocked-over coffee mugs and shredded paper, it's evident this writer is not prone to feline antics. No furballs or broken vases here – just a tidy workspace!"
"A Preference for Coffee Over Milk":
"Instead of lapping up a saucer of milk, this writer is fueling their creativity with a steaming cup of coffee. Looks like they prefer caffeine over calcium – a sure sign of human taste buds!"
"Keyboard Cat-tastrophy Avoided":
"Given the lack of paw prints on the keyboard, it's safe to assume this writer is not a feline mastermind. No accidental 'cat-typing' here – just human fingers doing the typing!"
"No Fur-ocious Typos":
"With impeccable spelling and grammar, it's clear this writer has opposable thumbs and not fluffy paws. No 'meow-sakes' to be found – just purr-fectly crafted sentences!"
"Lack of Random Napping":
"Unlike a cat, this writer hasn't suddenly dozed off mid-sentence, leaving behind a trail of z's. Looks like they're staying awake and focused – a clear sign of human behavior!"
"Allergic to Cat-astrophes":
"With a distinct absence of knocked-over coffee mugs and shredded paper, it's evident this writer is not prone to feline antics. No furballs or broken vases here – just a tidy workspace!"
"A Preference for Coffee Over Milk":
"Instead of lapping up a saucer of milk, this writer is fueling their creativity with a steaming cup of coffee. Looks like they prefer caffeine over calcium – a sure sign of human taste buds!"
