Register for a no ad experience.
11 months ago
11 months ago
1 year ago
Dogs are smarter then we give them credit for
They absolutely can manipulate us. Because we're dumb? Maybe all we know is that dogs are smarter then all of us reading and writing this and here's a few reasons why:
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
1 year ago
Indifferent when underpaid
My new work motto. You probably shouldn't tell this to your boss ...unless you're mad and quitting then why not! Stay toxic kings and queens! Here are 5 ways you can tell this to your boss without using the profanity that's bubbling up inside:
"I'm Like a Deflating Balloon: When pressure hits, I'm more likely to deflate like a sad party balloon than rise to the occasion like a helium-filled superhero. But hey, at least I'm consistent—just like the minimum wage."
"I'm the Anti-Firefighter: You know how firefighters rush into burning buildings to save the day? Well, I'm more like the guy standing outside selling marshmallows. When it comes to pressure, I'm more chill than a snoozing sloth.
"I'm the Human Equivalent of a Shrugging Emoji: Underpaid and under pressure? Meh. I'm as indifferent as a cat watching a mouse parade. Just don't expect any heroic acts—unless there's free pizza involved."
"I'm the Zen Master of Indifference: Picture a monk meditating on a mountaintop, completely unfazed by the chaos below. That's me when I'm underpaid and under pressure—serene, detached, and mentally cashing in on my next vacation day.
"I'm the King of Low-Stakes Poker: When the chips are down and the pressure's on, I'm more likely to fold faster than a cheap lawn chair. But hey, at least I know my worth—about as much as the office coffee machine.
"I'm Like a Deflating Balloon: When pressure hits, I'm more likely to deflate like a sad party balloon than rise to the occasion like a helium-filled superhero. But hey, at least I'm consistent—just like the minimum wage."
"I'm the Anti-Firefighter: You know how firefighters rush into burning buildings to save the day? Well, I'm more like the guy standing outside selling marshmallows. When it comes to pressure, I'm more chill than a snoozing sloth.
"I'm the Human Equivalent of a Shrugging Emoji: Underpaid and under pressure? Meh. I'm as indifferent as a cat watching a mouse parade. Just don't expect any heroic acts—unless there's free pizza involved."
"I'm the Zen Master of Indifference: Picture a monk meditating on a mountaintop, completely unfazed by the chaos below. That's me when I'm underpaid and under pressure—serene, detached, and mentally cashing in on my next vacation day.
"I'm the King of Low-Stakes Poker: When the chips are down and the pressure's on, I'm more likely to fold faster than a cheap lawn chair. But hey, at least I know my worth—about as much as the office coffee machine.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Bit insensitive but we all love these right?
I'd be happy with such a bounty though!
This should never be racial that's just an amazing food combo and here are some reasons why:
"The Flavor Fusion Fiesta": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon bring together the ultimate flavor explosion that's like a party in your mouth! It's a culinary carnival where sweet meets savory in a dance of deliciousness that leaves taste buds tingling with joy.
"The Picnic Palooza Powerhouse": Nothing says summertime fun like a picnic featuring grape soda fried chicken and watermelon. It's the ultimate outdoor feast that brings people together for a day of laughter, sunshine, and good eats. Who needs fancy hors d'oeuvres when you can have finger-lickin' goodness?
"The Quirky Comfort Combo": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are like old friends that never fail to lift your spirits and warm your heart. It's comfort food with a twist, a nostalgic nod to simpler times when life was sweet, savory, and oh-so-satisfying.
"The Festive Flavor Fantasy": Whether you're celebrating a birthday, a barbecue, or just the fact that it's Tuesday, grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the perfect party companions. With their vibrant colors and bold flavors, they're like the life of the party in edible form.
"The Sweet and Savory Symphony": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the culinary equivalent of a symphony orchestra, with each bite playing a different note in a melody of mouthwatering goodness. It's a gastronomic masterpiece that deserves a standing ovation (and maybe a second helping).
This should never be racial that's just an amazing food combo and here are some reasons why:
"The Flavor Fusion Fiesta": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon bring together the ultimate flavor explosion that's like a party in your mouth! It's a culinary carnival where sweet meets savory in a dance of deliciousness that leaves taste buds tingling with joy.
"The Picnic Palooza Powerhouse": Nothing says summertime fun like a picnic featuring grape soda fried chicken and watermelon. It's the ultimate outdoor feast that brings people together for a day of laughter, sunshine, and good eats. Who needs fancy hors d'oeuvres when you can have finger-lickin' goodness?
"The Quirky Comfort Combo": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are like old friends that never fail to lift your spirits and warm your heart. It's comfort food with a twist, a nostalgic nod to simpler times when life was sweet, savory, and oh-so-satisfying.
"The Festive Flavor Fantasy": Whether you're celebrating a birthday, a barbecue, or just the fact that it's Tuesday, grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the perfect party companions. With their vibrant colors and bold flavors, they're like the life of the party in edible form.
"The Sweet and Savory Symphony": Grape soda fried chicken and watermelon are the culinary equivalent of a symphony orchestra, with each bite playing a different note in a melody of mouthwatering goodness. It's a gastronomic masterpiece that deserves a standing ovation (and maybe a second helping).
1 year ago
Dutch is not a real language
Klok...with words like that can you blame me for thinking Dutch is not a serious language? Good thing only a few million people speak this bastard lovechild between English and German. Here's a few reasons why Dutch is not a serious language:
"The Windmill Whisper": "Dutch sounds like someone trying to speak with a mouthful of cheese and wooden clogs clomping in the background. It's hard to take a language seriously when it sounds like a conversation between a tulip and a bicycle."
"The Gouda Gobbledygook": "With all those guttural sounds and tongue-twisting consonants, Dutch sounds less like a language and more like a secret code invented by a group of drunk elves. It's like someone took German, added some extra vowels, and called it a day."
"The Dizzying Dialect Dilemma": "In Dutch, even the simplest words sound like they're doing acrobatics in mid-air. It's like trying to hold a conversation while riding a rollercoaster—exhilarating, confusing, and guaranteed to make you question your sanity."
"The Stroopwafel Stumble": "Dutch is the only language where 'hello' sounds like you're clearing your throat, 'goodbye' sounds like you're sneezing, and 'thank you' sounds like you're choking on a stroopwafel. It's a linguistic circus act that's impossible to take seriously."
"The Wooden Shoe Wobble": "With its nasal vowels and throaty consonants, Dutch sounds like a language invented by someone with a sinus infection. It's like trying to speak with a clothespin on your nose while wearing wooden shoes—it's hard to sound dignified when you're clomping around like a duck in a rainstorm."
"The Windmill Whisper": "Dutch sounds like someone trying to speak with a mouthful of cheese and wooden clogs clomping in the background. It's hard to take a language seriously when it sounds like a conversation between a tulip and a bicycle."
"The Gouda Gobbledygook": "With all those guttural sounds and tongue-twisting consonants, Dutch sounds less like a language and more like a secret code invented by a group of drunk elves. It's like someone took German, added some extra vowels, and called it a day."
"The Dizzying Dialect Dilemma": "In Dutch, even the simplest words sound like they're doing acrobatics in mid-air. It's like trying to hold a conversation while riding a rollercoaster—exhilarating, confusing, and guaranteed to make you question your sanity."
"The Stroopwafel Stumble": "Dutch is the only language where 'hello' sounds like you're clearing your throat, 'goodbye' sounds like you're sneezing, and 'thank you' sounds like you're choking on a stroopwafel. It's a linguistic circus act that's impossible to take seriously."
"The Wooden Shoe Wobble": "With its nasal vowels and throaty consonants, Dutch sounds like a language invented by someone with a sinus infection. It's like trying to speak with a clothespin on your nose while wearing wooden shoes—it's hard to sound dignified when you're clomping around like a duck in a rainstorm."
