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12 months ago
1 year ago
Honesty 100%
We later find out she has 3 phd's
Here are five humorous fake reasons why glasses make you stupid:
The "Refraction Confusion" Theory:
Wearing glasses causes light to refract in such a way that it scrambles your brain signals. It's like wearing a mini disco ball on your face, except instead of groovy dance moves, you're doing the Macarena of confusion.
The "Lens Distortion" Delusion:
The lenses in glasses act like funhouse mirrors for your brain, distorting reality and turning even the simplest tasks into a carnival of errors. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded – except the blindfold is your glasses.
The "Foggy Brain Fog" Fallacy:
Wearing glasses traps hot air from your brain and creates a foggy haze that clouds your thoughts. It's like trying to think through a steamy bathroom mirror – except instead of writing "wash me," your brain writes "what was I doing again?"
The "Nearsighted Nonsense" Notion:
Staring through glasses for too long causes your brain to become nearsighted to everything except the immediate task at hand. It's like tunnel vision, except the tunnel leads straight to the land of forgetfulness and befuddlement.
The "Refractive Regression" Ruse:
Glasses act like a time machine for your intelligence, sending you hurtling back to the days of childhood simplicity and innocence. It's like hitting the rewind button on your brain – except instead of reliving your glory days, you're reliving your crayon-eating days.
Here are five humorous fake reasons why glasses make you stupid:
The "Refraction Confusion" Theory:
Wearing glasses causes light to refract in such a way that it scrambles your brain signals. It's like wearing a mini disco ball on your face, except instead of groovy dance moves, you're doing the Macarena of confusion.
The "Lens Distortion" Delusion:
The lenses in glasses act like funhouse mirrors for your brain, distorting reality and turning even the simplest tasks into a carnival of errors. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded – except the blindfold is your glasses.
The "Foggy Brain Fog" Fallacy:
Wearing glasses traps hot air from your brain and creates a foggy haze that clouds your thoughts. It's like trying to think through a steamy bathroom mirror – except instead of writing "wash me," your brain writes "what was I doing again?"
The "Nearsighted Nonsense" Notion:
Staring through glasses for too long causes your brain to become nearsighted to everything except the immediate task at hand. It's like tunnel vision, except the tunnel leads straight to the land of forgetfulness and befuddlement.
The "Refractive Regression" Ruse:
Glasses act like a time machine for your intelligence, sending you hurtling back to the days of childhood simplicity and innocence. It's like hitting the rewind button on your brain – except instead of reliving your glory days, you're reliving your crayon-eating days.
1 year ago
Enjoying frequent naps
You'll enjoy naps when you have kids too since you'll be falling asleep every time you have a spare minute. Overall naps are great and here's a few reasons why:
The Snooze Button Symphony: "Because naps are like hitting the snooze button on life's alarm clock—except you get to enjoy the dreamy encore performance in your own cozy cocoon of blankets."
The Siesta Serenade: "Because taking a nap is like orchestrating your own mini symphony of snores, snuggles, and spontaneous dreams. Move over, Beethoven—there's a new maestro in town, and they're conducting from the comfort of their pillow fort."
The Slumber Party Saga: "Because naps are the ultimate solo slumber party where you're the VIP guest list, the entertainment, and the after-party all rolled into one. Who needs Netflix when you can star in your own dreamy blockbuster?"
The Pillow Plunge: "Because naps are like taking a thrilling plunge into the abyss of the unknown, where the only waves crashing are the ones lulling you into a state of blissful oblivion. Who needs extreme sports when you can conquer the art of nap-time acrobatics?"
The Dreamy Dancefloor: "Because naps are like stepping onto the dance floor of your imagination, where the music is composed of soft snores and the only moves you need to know are the ones that lead you straight to dreamland's front door. Who needs nightclubs when you can boogie down in your own mind?"
The Snooze Button Symphony: "Because naps are like hitting the snooze button on life's alarm clock—except you get to enjoy the dreamy encore performance in your own cozy cocoon of blankets."
The Siesta Serenade: "Because taking a nap is like orchestrating your own mini symphony of snores, snuggles, and spontaneous dreams. Move over, Beethoven—there's a new maestro in town, and they're conducting from the comfort of their pillow fort."
The Slumber Party Saga: "Because naps are the ultimate solo slumber party where you're the VIP guest list, the entertainment, and the after-party all rolled into one. Who needs Netflix when you can star in your own dreamy blockbuster?"
The Pillow Plunge: "Because naps are like taking a thrilling plunge into the abyss of the unknown, where the only waves crashing are the ones lulling you into a state of blissful oblivion. Who needs extreme sports when you can conquer the art of nap-time acrobatics?"
The Dreamy Dancefloor: "Because naps are like stepping onto the dance floor of your imagination, where the music is composed of soft snores and the only moves you need to know are the ones that lead you straight to dreamland's front door. Who needs nightclubs when you can boogie down in your own mind?"
1 year ago
Understandable with that name
His rage is fully understandable
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
12 months ago
1 year ago
Such wizardry!
The drugs help the wizardry
Here are five humorous reasons someone might not want to trust a wizard offering free drugs:
"Too Much Magic in the Mix": Who knows what kind of enchantments those "free" drugs might be laced with? One puff and you could find yourself seeing pink elephants or spontaneously sprouting a unicorn horn. No thanks, Gandalf, I'll stick to my mundane reality, thank you very much.
"Questionable Side Effects": Sure, the wizard promises a mind-bending experience, but what about the fine print? Is temporary invisibility really worth the risk of growing a second head or turning your skin plaid? I'll pass on the psychedelic potion, thanks.
"Suspiciously Generous Offer": Call me paranoid, but when a wizard starts handing out free drugs like candy on Halloween, I can't help but wonder what they're really after. Is it my soul? My firstborn child? Or just a five-star rating on their magical Yelp page? Either way, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.
"Magic Mishaps": Let's face it—magic isn't exactly known for its reliability. One wrong incantation and suddenly your free drugs are multiplying like rabbits or transforming into sentient jellybeans with a taste for human flesh. I think I'll stick to my non-magical, FDA-approved substances, thank you very much.
"Spellbound Addiction": Sure, those free drugs might seem harmless at first, but what happens when you're hooked on the wizard's wares and he starts charging an arm and a leg for your next fix? Suddenly, you're selling your soul (and your grandmother's heirloom teapot) just to feed your magical habit. No thanks, Merlin, I'll pass on the magical mystery tour.
Here are five humorous reasons someone might not want to trust a wizard offering free drugs:
"Too Much Magic in the Mix": Who knows what kind of enchantments those "free" drugs might be laced with? One puff and you could find yourself seeing pink elephants or spontaneously sprouting a unicorn horn. No thanks, Gandalf, I'll stick to my mundane reality, thank you very much.
"Questionable Side Effects": Sure, the wizard promises a mind-bending experience, but what about the fine print? Is temporary invisibility really worth the risk of growing a second head or turning your skin plaid? I'll pass on the psychedelic potion, thanks.
"Suspiciously Generous Offer": Call me paranoid, but when a wizard starts handing out free drugs like candy on Halloween, I can't help but wonder what they're really after. Is it my soul? My firstborn child? Or just a five-star rating on their magical Yelp page? Either way, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.
"Magic Mishaps": Let's face it—magic isn't exactly known for its reliability. One wrong incantation and suddenly your free drugs are multiplying like rabbits or transforming into sentient jellybeans with a taste for human flesh. I think I'll stick to my non-magical, FDA-approved substances, thank you very much.
"Spellbound Addiction": Sure, those free drugs might seem harmless at first, but what happens when you're hooked on the wizard's wares and he starts charging an arm and a leg for your next fix? Suddenly, you're selling your soul (and your grandmother's heirloom teapot) just to feed your magical habit. No thanks, Merlin, I'll pass on the magical mystery tour.
1 year ago
Different because she actually replies
As possibly an actual cat i have no issues getting women's attention. In my novice opinion she might have a good excuse!
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
