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9 months ago
12 months ago
A Mazderati The Best Car
You do you lady enjoy your Mazda. It's objectively better too or at least that's what our door dash guy who drives a tuned Mazda told us. We believe him and parot what he said on our site:
"The Speed Trap Trickster": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might attract attention from speed traps, the Mazda can slip by unnoticed, like a stealthy ninja in the night. Who needs a flashy car when you can have a vehicle that's the ultimate getaway car?
"The Parking Predicament Paradox": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because you'll never have to worry about finding a parking spot big enough for your ego. Who needs valet parking when you can squeeze into a space like a contortionist?
"The Luxury Lamentation": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might come with all the bells and whistles, the Mazda comes with the satisfaction of knowing you didn't break the bank just to impress your neighbors. Who needs leather seats when you can have peace of mind?
"The Maintenance Mystery": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might require a second mortgage to cover maintenance costs, the Mazda's repairs are more affordable than a Netflix subscription. Who needs a mechanic when you can DIY with duct tape and hope?
"The Traffic Triumph": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might turn heads in traffic, the Mazda can blend in like a chameleon, saving you from awkward encounters with aggressive admirers. Who needs paparazzi when you can be the master of disguise?
"The Speed Trap Trickster": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might attract attention from speed traps, the Mazda can slip by unnoticed, like a stealthy ninja in the night. Who needs a flashy car when you can have a vehicle that's the ultimate getaway car?
"The Parking Predicament Paradox": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because you'll never have to worry about finding a parking spot big enough for your ego. Who needs valet parking when you can squeeze into a space like a contortionist?
"The Luxury Lamentation": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might come with all the bells and whistles, the Mazda comes with the satisfaction of knowing you didn't break the bank just to impress your neighbors. Who needs leather seats when you can have peace of mind?
"The Maintenance Mystery": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might require a second mortgage to cover maintenance costs, the Mazda's repairs are more affordable than a Netflix subscription. Who needs a mechanic when you can DIY with duct tape and hope?
"The Traffic Triumph": A Mazda is better than a Maserati because while the Maserati might turn heads in traffic, the Mazda can blend in like a chameleon, saving you from awkward encounters with aggressive admirers. Who needs paparazzi when you can be the master of disguise?
9 months ago
12 months ago
He just said friend though
Best friends with no benefits
Here are five humorous reasons not to have long hair as a guy:
The "Soup Strainer" Struggle:
Long hair doubles as an unexpected garnish for your meals, adding a touch of flavor to every bite. Just be prepared for the inevitable awkward moment when you realize your spaghetti has turned into a spaghetti-hair sandwich.
The "Pillowcase Picasso" Predicament:
Long hair turns your pillow into a canvas for midnight masterpieces, as your locks twist and turn into avant-garde sculptures while you sleep. Wake up to discover you've created a modern art masterpiece – or a tangled mess worthy of its own exhibit.
The "Wind Tunnel Tango" Trial:
Long hair transforms a gentle breeze into a whirlwind of chaos, as your locks take on a life of their own and engage in a passionate dance with the wind. Hold onto your hat – or your hair – lest you become the unwitting star of a breezy ballet performance.
The "Shampoo Shortage" Saga:
Long hair turns every trip to the shampoo aisle into a harrowing adventure, as you navigate the labyrinth of bottles in search of a product that can tame your mane. Just remember to stock up on conditioner – you're gonna need it.
The "Sweat Bandit" Strain:
Long hair transforms every workout into a battle against the forces of sweat and gravity, as your locks rebel against containment and launch a full-scale assault on your forehead. Keep a towel handy – and maybe a spare hair tie or two – unless you want to end up looking like a drowned rat.
Here are five humorous reasons not to have long hair as a guy:
The "Soup Strainer" Struggle:
Long hair doubles as an unexpected garnish for your meals, adding a touch of flavor to every bite. Just be prepared for the inevitable awkward moment when you realize your spaghetti has turned into a spaghetti-hair sandwich.
The "Pillowcase Picasso" Predicament:
Long hair turns your pillow into a canvas for midnight masterpieces, as your locks twist and turn into avant-garde sculptures while you sleep. Wake up to discover you've created a modern art masterpiece – or a tangled mess worthy of its own exhibit.
The "Wind Tunnel Tango" Trial:
Long hair transforms a gentle breeze into a whirlwind of chaos, as your locks take on a life of their own and engage in a passionate dance with the wind. Hold onto your hat – or your hair – lest you become the unwitting star of a breezy ballet performance.
The "Shampoo Shortage" Saga:
Long hair turns every trip to the shampoo aisle into a harrowing adventure, as you navigate the labyrinth of bottles in search of a product that can tame your mane. Just remember to stock up on conditioner – you're gonna need it.
The "Sweat Bandit" Strain:
Long hair transforms every workout into a battle against the forces of sweat and gravity, as your locks rebel against containment and launch a full-scale assault on your forehead. Keep a towel handy – and maybe a spare hair tie or two – unless you want to end up looking like a drowned rat.
9 months ago
9 months ago
12 months ago
A technicians worst nightmare
If you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. You're now banned from owning a PC stick to consoles and here's why:
The Hacker Handicap: "Because if you're using power tools on your PC, you've already proved you're a danger to technology. Console games are like training wheels for your digital dexterity—stick to the basics before you try to hack the mainframe!"
The DIY Disaster: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of lumber, you're better off with a controller that won't require any 'assembly.' Console games are like the IKEA furniture of gaming—just plug and play, no power tools required!"
The Tech Tantrum: "Because if you're resorting to power tools to fix your PC, you're one step away from rage-quitting and throwing your computer out the window. Console games are like a gentle massage for your gaming frustrations—no need to break out the heavy machinery!"
The Precision Problem: "Because if you can't tell the difference between a screwdriver and a mouse, you're better off sticking to games that won't require surgical precision. Console games are like a blunt instrument for your gaming needs—no finesse required!"
The Circuitry Catastrophe: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of wood, you're one short circuit away from a full-blown meltdown. Console games are like a safe harbor in a sea of electrical hazards—no risk of electrocution, just pure gaming bliss!"
The Hacker Handicap: "Because if you're using power tools on your PC, you've already proved you're a danger to technology. Console games are like training wheels for your digital dexterity—stick to the basics before you try to hack the mainframe!"
The DIY Disaster: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of lumber, you're better off with a controller that won't require any 'assembly.' Console games are like the IKEA furniture of gaming—just plug and play, no power tools required!"
The Tech Tantrum: "Because if you're resorting to power tools to fix your PC, you're one step away from rage-quitting and throwing your computer out the window. Console games are like a gentle massage for your gaming frustrations—no need to break out the heavy machinery!"
The Precision Problem: "Because if you can't tell the difference between a screwdriver and a mouse, you're better off sticking to games that won't require surgical precision. Console games are like a blunt instrument for your gaming needs—no finesse required!"
The Circuitry Catastrophe: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of wood, you're one short circuit away from a full-blown meltdown. Console games are like a safe harbor in a sea of electrical hazards—no risk of electrocution, just pure gaming bliss!"
