Bit of a FAIL

He's going places...not college but places

They must have sure liked cucumbers that you can't eat...that's it right?
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real

The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"

The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"

The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"

The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"

The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"

Not normal workers I can assure you of that

It's called marketing yourself

Be nicer to Dan the Short king

A good way to make a point