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10 months ago
Girls stop doing this
More filters then all the worlds water supply uses
These trustworthy health warnings might stop them
"Warning: Wrinkle-Rific Filter Ahead"
"Using this filter might age you like fine wine, complete with wrinkles and a distinguished aura. Side effects include sudden urges to dispense wisdom and an increased appreciation for rocking chairs."
"Caution: Crow's Feet Creator"
"Applying this filter excessively could result in crow's feet around the eyes, giving you a prematurely wise appearance. Side effects may include nostalgic yearnings for the good ol' days."
"Notice: Grayscale Glamour"
"This filter drains color from your face, giving you a vintage vibe. Side effects may include sudden cravings for classic movies and a desire to dispense sage advice."
"Alert: Prematurely Gray Guarantee"
"Long-term use of this filter might give you a head of distinguished gray hair. Side effects may include being mistaken for a seasoned sage and unsolicited requests for life advice."
"Attention: Retro Aging Risk"
"Using this filter might transport you back in time, aging you instantly. Side effects may include nostalgia for bygone eras and an affinity for vintage fashion."
These trustworthy health warnings might stop them
"Warning: Wrinkle-Rific Filter Ahead"
"Using this filter might age you like fine wine, complete with wrinkles and a distinguished aura. Side effects include sudden urges to dispense wisdom and an increased appreciation for rocking chairs."
"Caution: Crow's Feet Creator"
"Applying this filter excessively could result in crow's feet around the eyes, giving you a prematurely wise appearance. Side effects may include nostalgic yearnings for the good ol' days."
"Notice: Grayscale Glamour"
"This filter drains color from your face, giving you a vintage vibe. Side effects may include sudden cravings for classic movies and a desire to dispense sage advice."
"Alert: Prematurely Gray Guarantee"
"Long-term use of this filter might give you a head of distinguished gray hair. Side effects may include being mistaken for a seasoned sage and unsolicited requests for life advice."
"Attention: Retro Aging Risk"
"Using this filter might transport you back in time, aging you instantly. Side effects may include nostalgia for bygone eras and an affinity for vintage fashion."
7 months ago
10 months ago
A strategic misstep
She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related.
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
