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11 months ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Get corrected
Twitter adds context
Here are five humorous reasons why weather might cancel a sporting event:
Rain Delay Due to "Liquid Sunshine": The forecast calls for a heavy downpour of "liquid sunshine," making it impossible for players to distinguish between the ball and the tears of the weather gods.
Snowball Fight Breaks Out on the Field: A freak blizzard sweeps through, turning the stadium into a winter wonderland and prompting players to abandon their sports equipment in favor of snowball fights and impromptu snowman-building contests.
Wind Gusts Carry Players Away Like Kites: Unpredictable gusts of wind transform the playing field into a makeshift kite-flying zone, with players and referees soaring through the air like human kites. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the star quarterback!
Fog Rolls In, Players Vanish into Thin Air: A dense fog descends upon the stadium, shrouding the playing field in a thick veil of mist and causing players to vanish into thin air. Referees blow their whistles in vain, unable to locate the elusive athletes amidst the foggy chaos.
Heat Wave Turns Players into Puddles: Sweltering temperatures transform the playing field into a giant frying pan, causing players to melt like popsicles on a summer day. Fans watch in disbelief as their favorite athletes drip and droop like soggy pancakes, prompting a hasty retreat to the nearest ice cream stand.
Here are five humorous reasons why weather might cancel a sporting event:
Rain Delay Due to "Liquid Sunshine": The forecast calls for a heavy downpour of "liquid sunshine," making it impossible for players to distinguish between the ball and the tears of the weather gods.
Snowball Fight Breaks Out on the Field: A freak blizzard sweeps through, turning the stadium into a winter wonderland and prompting players to abandon their sports equipment in favor of snowball fights and impromptu snowman-building contests.
Wind Gusts Carry Players Away Like Kites: Unpredictable gusts of wind transform the playing field into a makeshift kite-flying zone, with players and referees soaring through the air like human kites. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the star quarterback!
Fog Rolls In, Players Vanish into Thin Air: A dense fog descends upon the stadium, shrouding the playing field in a thick veil of mist and causing players to vanish into thin air. Referees blow their whistles in vain, unable to locate the elusive athletes amidst the foggy chaos.
Heat Wave Turns Players into Puddles: Sweltering temperatures transform the playing field into a giant frying pan, causing players to melt like popsicles on a summer day. Fans watch in disbelief as their favorite athletes drip and droop like soggy pancakes, prompting a hasty retreat to the nearest ice cream stand.
1 year ago
God of War is a good game though
Wish we knew if he realized after he was done lore dumping. Who knows maybe God Of War is simply better then sex? We've explored the possibly:
"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?
"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.
"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.
"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.
"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.
"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?
"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.
"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.
"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.
"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.
1 year ago
I'm a cat so i wouldn't know
But i'd assume they do.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
11 months ago
11 months ago
