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12 months ago
1 year ago
Sounds like a fun evening
Who got the honor of cleaning that up? One thing is clear though he loved it! Dogs are awesome and you proved dog like affinity to him! here is why I think pissing on the floor like a dog would make you more attractive to your boyfriend:
"The Alpha Dog Display": By marking your territory like a confident canine, you assert dominance and show your boyfriend who's the boss. It's a primal display of strength that'll have him howling with admiration.
"The Scent of Success": Your unique musk, reminiscent of freshly watered grass, is an irresistible aphrodisiac that'll have your boyfriend begging for more. Who needs expensive perfumes when you've got the natural allure of eau de urine?
"The Bonding Ritual": Sharing intimate moments, even bathroom-related ones, strengthens your bond as a couple. By embracing your inner pup, you invite your boyfriend into your world and create a deeper connection that transcends societal norms.
"The Playful Puddle Prance": Pissing on the floor like a dog is a playful way to inject some fun and spontaneity into your relationship. It's like turning everyday chores into a whimsical game of canine capers—a surefire way to keep the romance alive.
"The Wet 'n' Wild Fantasy": Let's face it—there's something undeniably sexy about breaking the rules and indulging in forbidden pleasures. By embracing your inner rebel and embracing your primal instincts, you ignite a fiery passion that'll leave your boyfriend panting for more.
"The Alpha Dog Display": By marking your territory like a confident canine, you assert dominance and show your boyfriend who's the boss. It's a primal display of strength that'll have him howling with admiration.
"The Scent of Success": Your unique musk, reminiscent of freshly watered grass, is an irresistible aphrodisiac that'll have your boyfriend begging for more. Who needs expensive perfumes when you've got the natural allure of eau de urine?
"The Bonding Ritual": Sharing intimate moments, even bathroom-related ones, strengthens your bond as a couple. By embracing your inner pup, you invite your boyfriend into your world and create a deeper connection that transcends societal norms.
"The Playful Puddle Prance": Pissing on the floor like a dog is a playful way to inject some fun and spontaneity into your relationship. It's like turning everyday chores into a whimsical game of canine capers—a surefire way to keep the romance alive.
"The Wet 'n' Wild Fantasy": Let's face it—there's something undeniably sexy about breaking the rules and indulging in forbidden pleasures. By embracing your inner rebel and embracing your primal instincts, you ignite a fiery passion that'll leave your boyfriend panting for more.
1 year ago
Applies for everybody
I'm sorry you had to find out from a meme. Here's 5 reasons why your younger self was an idiot:
The Fashion Faux Pas: "Because your younger self thought wearing socks with sandals was the epitome of coolness—ah, the blissful ignorance of youth, where fashion crimes were committed without a second thought."
The Cringe-worthy Crush: "Because your younger self believed that writing love letters in blood was the ultimate romantic gesture—apparently, your heart wasn't the only thing bleeding profusely."
The Culinary Catastrophe: "Because your younger self thought microwaving a metal spoon was a brilliant shortcut to heating up leftovers—nothing says 'I'm a culinary genius' like sparks flying in the kitchen."
The Social Media Snafu: "Because your younger self thought it was a good idea to post every thought, emotion, and bowel movement on social media—because nothing screams 'attention-seeking' like live-tweeting your existential crisis."
The DIY Disaster: "Because your younger self believed that building a skateboard ramp in your backyard with zero engineering experience was a solid plan—because who needs safety regulations when you've got a death wish and a hammer?"
The Fashion Faux Pas: "Because your younger self thought wearing socks with sandals was the epitome of coolness—ah, the blissful ignorance of youth, where fashion crimes were committed without a second thought."
The Cringe-worthy Crush: "Because your younger self believed that writing love letters in blood was the ultimate romantic gesture—apparently, your heart wasn't the only thing bleeding profusely."
The Culinary Catastrophe: "Because your younger self thought microwaving a metal spoon was a brilliant shortcut to heating up leftovers—nothing says 'I'm a culinary genius' like sparks flying in the kitchen."
The Social Media Snafu: "Because your younger self thought it was a good idea to post every thought, emotion, and bowel movement on social media—because nothing screams 'attention-seeking' like live-tweeting your existential crisis."
The DIY Disaster: "Because your younger self believed that building a skateboard ramp in your backyard with zero engineering experience was a solid plan—because who needs safety regulations when you've got a death wish and a hammer?"
1 year ago
Got caught In Hearts of Iron IV
Gamers have the best jokes, though if it wasn't a joke here are five humorous reasons to play Hearts of Iron IV with your gay lover:
Bonding Over Blitzkriegs: What better way to strengthen your relationship than by plotting military strategies together? Hearts of Iron IV offers the perfect opportunity to bond over your shared love of history and tactical warfare. Plus, nothing says romance like conquering the world together, one virtual battlefield at a time.
Competitive Cuddle Sessions: Forget cozy nights in front of the fireplace—Hearts of Iron IV turns cuddling into a competitive sport! As you vie for dominance on the global stage, you'll find yourselves locked in intense cuddle battles, each trying to out-snuggle the other in the ultimate display of affection.
Dramatic Diplomatic Drama: Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of diplomatic drama as you navigate the treacherous waters of international relations. From forging alliances to backstabbing former allies, Hearts of Iron IV offers endless opportunities for political intrigue and romantic intrigue alike.
Fashion Forward Fascism: Unleash your inner fashionista as you deck out your favorite dictators in the latest military chic couture. From stylish uniforms to fabulous fascinators, Hearts of Iron IV lets you channel your inner fashion mogul while conquering the world in style.
Strategic Seduction: Who needs candlelit dinners when you can woo your lover with cunning military maneuvers and strategic genius? Hearts of Iron IV turns seduction into a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where victory on the battlefield is only surpassed by victory in the bedroom.
Bonding Over Blitzkriegs: What better way to strengthen your relationship than by plotting military strategies together? Hearts of Iron IV offers the perfect opportunity to bond over your shared love of history and tactical warfare. Plus, nothing says romance like conquering the world together, one virtual battlefield at a time.
Competitive Cuddle Sessions: Forget cozy nights in front of the fireplace—Hearts of Iron IV turns cuddling into a competitive sport! As you vie for dominance on the global stage, you'll find yourselves locked in intense cuddle battles, each trying to out-snuggle the other in the ultimate display of affection.
Dramatic Diplomatic Drama: Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of diplomatic drama as you navigate the treacherous waters of international relations. From forging alliances to backstabbing former allies, Hearts of Iron IV offers endless opportunities for political intrigue and romantic intrigue alike.
Fashion Forward Fascism: Unleash your inner fashionista as you deck out your favorite dictators in the latest military chic couture. From stylish uniforms to fabulous fascinators, Hearts of Iron IV lets you channel your inner fashion mogul while conquering the world in style.
Strategic Seduction: Who needs candlelit dinners when you can woo your lover with cunning military maneuvers and strategic genius? Hearts of Iron IV turns seduction into a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where victory on the battlefield is only surpassed by victory in the bedroom.
1 year ago
Dogshit a classic present
A tier lower then coal. We thought about this one long and hard! She was probably saying it out of the goodness of her heart! Dog Shit is wonderful! It's the gift that keeps on giving and here is why:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
1 year ago
The Central Bureaucracy from Futurama
The winner of the not my job award goes to that clerk. The DMV what a place! As a person who's never been to one I only hears legends of this magnificent fun and relaxing government run spa. Here are some :
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
