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9 months ago
12 months ago
Asking the real questions about ramen
Ramen and communism both make you think of hunger one is a solution the other a cause, here are some reasons ramen and communism go well together:
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
12 months ago
Mechanics are a kind onto themselves
Just don't trust them. Be prepared. Have some these lines on you next time yougo down to the shop:
The Confused Customer: "Oh, that's interesting! I didn't realize my car had a built-in money printer. Must be one of those new features I missed in the owner's manual!"
The Amateur Sleuth: "Hmm, that sounds like a real head-scratcher! Maybe I should call my psychic hotline and see if they can channel the spirit of my car's previous owner to shed some light on this mysterious problem."
The Budget Whisperer: "Wow, you must have mistaken me for Jeff Bezos! Unfortunately, I left my money tree at home today. How about we stick to fixing what's actually broken?"
The DIY Enthusiast: "Oh, I love a good challenge! I'll just pop down to the hardware store, grab some duct tape and bubblegum, and fix it myself. Thanks for the heads-up!"
The Comedy Connoisseur: "Ah, I see you've upgraded from fixing cars to stand-up comedy! I'll give you a round of applause for that performance, but I think I'll pass on the pricey repair bill."
The Confused Customer: "Oh, that's interesting! I didn't realize my car had a built-in money printer. Must be one of those new features I missed in the owner's manual!"
The Amateur Sleuth: "Hmm, that sounds like a real head-scratcher! Maybe I should call my psychic hotline and see if they can channel the spirit of my car's previous owner to shed some light on this mysterious problem."
The Budget Whisperer: "Wow, you must have mistaken me for Jeff Bezos! Unfortunately, I left my money tree at home today. How about we stick to fixing what's actually broken?"
The DIY Enthusiast: "Oh, I love a good challenge! I'll just pop down to the hardware store, grab some duct tape and bubblegum, and fix it myself. Thanks for the heads-up!"
The Comedy Connoisseur: "Ah, I see you've upgraded from fixing cars to stand-up comedy! I'll give you a round of applause for that performance, but I think I'll pass on the pricey repair bill."
12 months ago
Drive to Alabama for meth
Stay because you sold your car for meth.
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
12 months ago
The Central Bureaucracy from Futurama
The winner of the not my job award goes to that clerk. The DMV what a place! As a person who's never been to one I only hears legends of this magnificent fun and relaxing government run spa. Here are some :
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
9 months ago
9 months ago
