Not enough lube on earth

He's going places...not college but places

They must have sure liked cucumbers that you can't eat...that's it right?
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real

The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"

The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"

The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"

The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"

The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"

Not normal workers I can assure you of that

It's called marketing yourself

Be nicer to Dan the Short king

A good way to make a point