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7 months ago
You're Finland And You Get Citizenship
If you pas the Finland test do you get citizenship? If your baby a de-facto Fin now? Can he run in the Finnish parliamentary elections ? These are the questions keeping us up at night but we do have severe insomnia so it's not really a big deal. So how do you know if your newborn is Finnish? Here are a few telltale signs:
The "Sauna Serenade": Your baby insists on babbling in Finnish, but only during sauna time. As soon as they're out of the steamy heat, they revert to their usual baby gibberish.
The "Sisu Sleep Schedule": Instead of napping like a typical baby, yours insists on adhering to a strict schedule of 20-minute power naps followed by hours of wide-eyed staring into the abyss—a true display of Finnish perseverance.
The "Sisu Snack Preference": Your baby's first solid food request isn't mashed bananas or pureed carrots—it's a hearty serving of rye bread with a side of pickled herring, just like their Finnish ancestors.
The "Moomin Mania": Your baby's favorite bedtime stories aren't nursery rhymes or fairy tales—they're tales of adventure starring the beloved Moomin characters, complete with whimsical illustrations and existential musings.
The "Finnish Fashionista": Your baby refuses to wear anything but brightly colored Marimekko onesies and tiny felted woolen mittens, even in the middle of summer. Who needs practicality when you can have Finnish style?
The "Sauna Serenade": Your baby insists on babbling in Finnish, but only during sauna time. As soon as they're out of the steamy heat, they revert to their usual baby gibberish.
The "Sisu Sleep Schedule": Instead of napping like a typical baby, yours insists on adhering to a strict schedule of 20-minute power naps followed by hours of wide-eyed staring into the abyss—a true display of Finnish perseverance.
The "Sisu Snack Preference": Your baby's first solid food request isn't mashed bananas or pureed carrots—it's a hearty serving of rye bread with a side of pickled herring, just like their Finnish ancestors.
The "Moomin Mania": Your baby's favorite bedtime stories aren't nursery rhymes or fairy tales—they're tales of adventure starring the beloved Moomin characters, complete with whimsical illustrations and existential musings.
The "Finnish Fashionista": Your baby refuses to wear anything but brightly colored Marimekko onesies and tiny felted woolen mittens, even in the middle of summer. Who needs practicality when you can have Finnish style?
5 months ago
8 months ago
Is it though?
They must have sure liked cucumbers that you can't eat...that's it right?
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real
The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"
The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"
The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"
The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"
The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real
The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"
The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"
The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"
The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"
The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"
5 months ago
5 months ago
5 months ago
