Register for a no ad experience.
8 months ago
Talk with me when he can levitate small objects
These children are just so lazy when it comes to learning levitation. Call me old fashioned but in my day kids weren't allowed to go out and play video games before they completed psychic studies.
here are just a few reasons why kids these days ignore training their innate psychic powers
"Remote Control Ruins the Fun":
"Why bother mastering the power of telekinesis when you can just grab the TV remote with your hand? Kids these days prefer the instant gratification of a button press over the mental gymnastics of moving objects with their minds."
"Wi-Fi Woes and Mental Blocks":
"In a world of Wi-Fi and instant downloads, children struggle to focus long enough to tune into their psychic abilities. Telekinesis requires too much mental bandwidth – they'd rather spend it on streaming cat videos."
"Hoverboards Beat Hovering Objects":
"Why bother levitating objects with your mind when you can ride a hoverboard? Kids these days prefer the effortless coolness of gliding on wheels over the mental strain of making things float. Plus, hoverboards come in way cooler colors!"
"Too Much Screen Time, Not Enough Mind Time":
"Children are too busy scrolling through social media feeds to bother honing their psychic powers. Telekinesis requires concentration and mental discipline – qualities in short supply when your attention span is measured in Snapchat streaks."
"Instant Noodles, Not Instant Telekinesis":
"In a world of instant noodles and microwave dinners, kids have forgotten the value of patience and practice. Telekinesis is a slow burn – it requires dedication and perseverance, qualities that are sorely lacking in a generation raised on instant gratification."
here are just a few reasons why kids these days ignore training their innate psychic powers
"Remote Control Ruins the Fun":
"Why bother mastering the power of telekinesis when you can just grab the TV remote with your hand? Kids these days prefer the instant gratification of a button press over the mental gymnastics of moving objects with their minds."
"Wi-Fi Woes and Mental Blocks":
"In a world of Wi-Fi and instant downloads, children struggle to focus long enough to tune into their psychic abilities. Telekinesis requires too much mental bandwidth – they'd rather spend it on streaming cat videos."
"Hoverboards Beat Hovering Objects":
"Why bother levitating objects with your mind when you can ride a hoverboard? Kids these days prefer the effortless coolness of gliding on wheels over the mental strain of making things float. Plus, hoverboards come in way cooler colors!"
"Too Much Screen Time, Not Enough Mind Time":
"Children are too busy scrolling through social media feeds to bother honing their psychic powers. Telekinesis requires concentration and mental discipline – qualities in short supply when your attention span is measured in Snapchat streaks."
"Instant Noodles, Not Instant Telekinesis":
"In a world of instant noodles and microwave dinners, kids have forgotten the value of patience and practice. Telekinesis is a slow burn – it requires dedication and perseverance, qualities that are sorely lacking in a generation raised on instant gratification."
5 months ago
5 months ago
8 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
5 months ago
8 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
5 months ago
