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1 year ago
Bought these 8 minutes ago
2 more days and they'll evolve into something really weird , here we prepared some examples while huffing glue in the company garage
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
1 year ago
True and I'm not ashamed
Everyone loves a backyard though piss or no piss. But pissing in your backyard ... that's the stuff! Here are a few reasons why pissing in your backyard makes you feel like the King of the world:
"Embracing Your Inner Wild Animal": There's something liberating about tapping into your primal instincts and channeling your inner wild animal. Pissing in the backyard while drunk lets you reconnect with your animalistic side, marking your territory like a true alpha—just don't forget to lift your leg.
"Achieving True Zen in Nature": Forget about expensive meditation retreats—pissing in the backyard while drunk is the ultimate form of zen. There's nothing quite like the feeling of warm urine trickling down your leg as you commune with nature under the twinkling stars. Ah, serenity now.
"The Ultimate Multitasking Experience": Who says men can't multitask? Pissing in the backyard while drunk is the epitome of efficiency—you're relieving yourself while simultaneously watering the plants. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved, except maybe the neighbors.
"Becoming One with the Universe": Pissing in the backyard while drunk is a transcendent experience that connects you to the cosmos in ways you never thought possible. With each golden stream, you become one with the universe, blurring the boundaries between man and nature, drunk and sober, urine and... well, you get the idea.
"Earning Your PhD in Backyard Biology": Who needs a degree in biology when you have firsthand experience with backyard ecosystems? Pissing in the backyard while drunk is like conducting a field study in urine-based ecology, observing the effects of alcohol consumption on local flora and fauna. It's science, baby.
"Embracing Your Inner Wild Animal": There's something liberating about tapping into your primal instincts and channeling your inner wild animal. Pissing in the backyard while drunk lets you reconnect with your animalistic side, marking your territory like a true alpha—just don't forget to lift your leg.
"Achieving True Zen in Nature": Forget about expensive meditation retreats—pissing in the backyard while drunk is the ultimate form of zen. There's nothing quite like the feeling of warm urine trickling down your leg as you commune with nature under the twinkling stars. Ah, serenity now.
"The Ultimate Multitasking Experience": Who says men can't multitask? Pissing in the backyard while drunk is the epitome of efficiency—you're relieving yourself while simultaneously watering the plants. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved, except maybe the neighbors.
"Becoming One with the Universe": Pissing in the backyard while drunk is a transcendent experience that connects you to the cosmos in ways you never thought possible. With each golden stream, you become one with the universe, blurring the boundaries between man and nature, drunk and sober, urine and... well, you get the idea.
"Earning Your PhD in Backyard Biology": Who needs a degree in biology when you have firsthand experience with backyard ecosystems? Pissing in the backyard while drunk is like conducting a field study in urine-based ecology, observing the effects of alcohol consumption on local flora and fauna. It's science, baby.
1 year ago
Best insult i've heard
It's free real estate. Here's more dick related high school insults:
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
12 months ago
1 year ago
Wholesome racism is a thing?
Not all stereotypes are bad stereotypes.
Here are five light-hearted and humorous examples of positive racial traits:
"The Spicy Salsa Skills of Latinos": Latin Americans are renowned for their vibrant culture and fiery dance moves. Whether it's salsa, merengue, or bachata, their hips don't lie, and neither does the joy they bring to the dance floor. Who needs a gym when you can burn calories with a Latin dance party?
"The Zen Mastery of Asians": Asians are often admired for their calm and collected demeanor, as well as their expertise in practices like tai chi and meditation. Need to find your inner peace? Just follow the lead of an Asian friend and prepare to achieve enlightenment in the most tranquil way possible.
"The Soulful Sounds of Black Rhythm and Blues": Black culture has given the world some of the most soul-stirring music ever created. From the smooth crooning of R&B to the infectious beats of hip-hop and jazz, there's no denying the groove that comes naturally to those with a bit of soul in their hearts.
"The Irish Gift of the Gab": The Irish are famous for their gift of gab, with the ability to spin a tale and charm the socks off anyone they meet. Whether it's a witty joke, a heartfelt story, or a good old-fashioned bit of blarney, you can always count on the Irish to keep the conversation flowing.
"The British Politeness and Tea Obsession": Brits are known for their impeccable manners and their undying love for tea. There's something undeniably charming about their ability to navigate even the most awkward social situations with a stiff upper lip and a cup of Earl Grey in hand. After all, who needs therapy when you have a proper brew?
Here are five light-hearted and humorous examples of positive racial traits:
"The Spicy Salsa Skills of Latinos": Latin Americans are renowned for their vibrant culture and fiery dance moves. Whether it's salsa, merengue, or bachata, their hips don't lie, and neither does the joy they bring to the dance floor. Who needs a gym when you can burn calories with a Latin dance party?
"The Zen Mastery of Asians": Asians are often admired for their calm and collected demeanor, as well as their expertise in practices like tai chi and meditation. Need to find your inner peace? Just follow the lead of an Asian friend and prepare to achieve enlightenment in the most tranquil way possible.
"The Soulful Sounds of Black Rhythm and Blues": Black culture has given the world some of the most soul-stirring music ever created. From the smooth crooning of R&B to the infectious beats of hip-hop and jazz, there's no denying the groove that comes naturally to those with a bit of soul in their hearts.
"The Irish Gift of the Gab": The Irish are famous for their gift of gab, with the ability to spin a tale and charm the socks off anyone they meet. Whether it's a witty joke, a heartfelt story, or a good old-fashioned bit of blarney, you can always count on the Irish to keep the conversation flowing.
"The British Politeness and Tea Obsession": Brits are known for their impeccable manners and their undying love for tea. There's something undeniably charming about their ability to navigate even the most awkward social situations with a stiff upper lip and a cup of Earl Grey in hand. After all, who needs therapy when you have a proper brew?
1 year ago
The strong hand
You can get his germs by using it
Here are five humorous reasons why you might consider buying a very creepy sex toy:
Spooky Sensations: Who needs traditional sex toys when you can embrace the eerie delights of a creepy counterpart? With its unconventional design, every touch is a thrilling adventure into the unknown—a perfect way to spice up your bedroom escapades with a touch of the macabre.
Haunted House Party Pleasure: Planning a Halloween bash? Impress your guests with the ultimate party favor—a creepy sex toy that's sure to raise eyebrows and spirits alike. It's the perfect conversation starter for those who dare to delve into the darker side of pleasure.
Bone-Chilling Bedroom Bondage: With its ominous appearance, a creepy sex toy adds an extra layer of excitement to your BDSM play sessions. Whether you're into roleplay or simply seeking a spine-tingling thrill, nothing sets the mood quite like a toy straight out of a horror movie.
Ghostly Gag Gifts: Need a quirky gift for that special someone who has everything? Look no further than a creepy sex toy! It's the perfect way to show your appreciation while giving them a good laugh—or a good scare, depending on their sense of humor.
Cryptic Couples' Connection: Sharing a love for the bizarre? A creepy sex toy is a fun way to bond with your partner over your mutual appreciation for all things spooky. Who knows, it might even become a cherished keepsake of your uniquely twisted love story.
Here are five humorous reasons why you might consider buying a very creepy sex toy:
Spooky Sensations: Who needs traditional sex toys when you can embrace the eerie delights of a creepy counterpart? With its unconventional design, every touch is a thrilling adventure into the unknown—a perfect way to spice up your bedroom escapades with a touch of the macabre.
Haunted House Party Pleasure: Planning a Halloween bash? Impress your guests with the ultimate party favor—a creepy sex toy that's sure to raise eyebrows and spirits alike. It's the perfect conversation starter for those who dare to delve into the darker side of pleasure.
Bone-Chilling Bedroom Bondage: With its ominous appearance, a creepy sex toy adds an extra layer of excitement to your BDSM play sessions. Whether you're into roleplay or simply seeking a spine-tingling thrill, nothing sets the mood quite like a toy straight out of a horror movie.
Ghostly Gag Gifts: Need a quirky gift for that special someone who has everything? Look no further than a creepy sex toy! It's the perfect way to show your appreciation while giving them a good laugh—or a good scare, depending on their sense of humor.
Cryptic Couples' Connection: Sharing a love for the bizarre? A creepy sex toy is a fun way to bond with your partner over your mutual appreciation for all things spooky. Who knows, it might even become a cherished keepsake of your uniquely twisted love story.
12 months ago
