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8 months ago
If it fits use it
Hope they cleaned it before though. Practical , so we though maybe there are more things you can use sex toys that DON'T involve sex! After all why not get all use out of them!
Here are 5 funny sex toy life hacks:
"The Silent Alarm Clock": Forget about noisy alarms—set your vibrating sex toy to wake you up with a gentle buzz. Just make sure to position it strategically so it doesn't roll off the nightstand and disappear under the bed!
"The Hands-Free Selfie Stick": Need to take a hands-free selfie? Attach your smartphone to a suction cup dildo for the perfect angle every time. Just be prepared for some interesting looks if you accidentally leave it on your desk at work.
"The DIY Massager": Can't find your back massager? No problem! Grab your trusty vibrator and give yourself a relaxing massage. Just make sure to switch it back to its original purpose before your partner gets home.
"The Emergency Candle Holder": Out of candle holders for your romantic dinner? No worries! Just stick a tapered candle in the base of your dildo and let the mood lighting begin. It's sure to set the mood for a memorable evening.
"The Secret Stash": Need a discreet hiding spot for your valuables? Hollow out a dildo and use it as a secret stash container. Just don't forget where you put it—or you might end up with a surprise during your next round of spring cleaning!
Here are 5 funny sex toy life hacks:
"The Silent Alarm Clock": Forget about noisy alarms—set your vibrating sex toy to wake you up with a gentle buzz. Just make sure to position it strategically so it doesn't roll off the nightstand and disappear under the bed!
"The Hands-Free Selfie Stick": Need to take a hands-free selfie? Attach your smartphone to a suction cup dildo for the perfect angle every time. Just be prepared for some interesting looks if you accidentally leave it on your desk at work.
"The DIY Massager": Can't find your back massager? No problem! Grab your trusty vibrator and give yourself a relaxing massage. Just make sure to switch it back to its original purpose before your partner gets home.
"The Emergency Candle Holder": Out of candle holders for your romantic dinner? No worries! Just stick a tapered candle in the base of your dildo and let the mood lighting begin. It's sure to set the mood for a memorable evening.
"The Secret Stash": Need a discreet hiding spot for your valuables? Hollow out a dildo and use it as a secret stash container. Just don't forget where you put it—or you might end up with a surprise during your next round of spring cleaning!
5 months ago
5 months ago
8 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
5 months ago
8 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
5 months ago
