League of Legends

So toxic you need hazmat gear. They should hate themselves at least a little since the game is a toxic cesspit. Here's a few reasons why league of Legends players hate themselves:

"The Jungler Jitters": "They've spent so much time wandering aimlessly through the jungle that they've forgotten what it's like to see sunlight. Every missed gank is a reminder of their failed attempts at socializing with the outside world."

"The Minion Malaise": "They've been out-CS'd by their own grandmother in an ARAM match. Watching those little minions farm more efficiently than they ever could is a soul-crushing experience."

"The Baron Blues": "They've stolen Baron with a blind Lux ultimate, only to have their team flame them for 'kill stealing.' It's a classic case of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'—and they're left wondering why they even bother."

"The Teemo Trepidation": "They've accidentally stepped on one too many Teemo shrooms and now suffer from PTSD every time they hear the sound of a mushroom popping. It's a constant reminder of their own foolishness and lack of map awareness."

"The Yasuo Yips": "They've been knocked up by one too many Yasuo ultimates and now question their life choices every time they hear 'Hasagi!' echoing in their nightmares. It's a special kind of self-loathing that only a Yasuo main can truly understand."