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12 months ago
A little thief!
Run kitty or risk the spray bottle. let's not forget that in my biased opinion cats deserve the fish. Here are some supporting reasons
"Pawsitively Fish-tastic":
"Because every cat deserves a taste of victory – even if it's a fishy one!"
"Claws for Applause":
"Fluffy's fish catch deserves a round of applause, not punishment!"
"Tuna-rrific Triumph":
"A cat's victory over a fish is just purr-fectly natural!"
"Cat-astrophe Averted":
"Fluffy's fish heist saved the day – and that fish's life!"
"Fishy Business as Usual":
"Fluffy's fishy antics are all part of the feline charm!"
"Pawsitively Fish-tastic":
"Because every cat deserves a taste of victory – even if it's a fishy one!"
"Claws for Applause":
"Fluffy's fish catch deserves a round of applause, not punishment!"
"Tuna-rrific Triumph":
"A cat's victory over a fish is just purr-fectly natural!"
"Cat-astrophe Averted":
"Fluffy's fish heist saved the day – and that fish's life!"
"Fishy Business as Usual":
"Fluffy's fishy antics are all part of the feline charm!"
9 months ago
Did you taste pee?
I might have since i was told it smells sweet if you have diabetes when i was drunk and misunderstood
12 months ago
Just mechanic things
Blinker fluid's looking pretty low too. What other lies could a mechanic use to separate the technically challenged from their hard earned cash?
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
9 months ago
12 months ago
17$ sounds like a bargain these days
More along the lines of 59.99 now. Personally I don't like these gastropubs but let's take a moment to talk about Whiskey being indeed the best soup available.
Here's 5 reasons why Whiskey is the best soup:
"The Liquid Comfort Food": Who needs chicken noodle soup when you can have whiskey? Just one sip and you'll forget all about your troubles—along with any coherent thoughts about what constitutes a proper meal. It's like a warm hug for your insides, with a side of intoxication.
"The Boozy Broth Bonanza": Why settle for bland vegetable broth when you can have a rich and robust whiskey broth instead? It's the perfect base for all your favorite soups, adding a smoky depth of flavor that will leave you questioning why you ever bothered with vegetables in the first place.
"The Spirited Stew Solution": Forget about spending hours simmering a pot of stew—just pour in a bottle of whiskey and call it a day! With its intoxicating blend of flavors, whiskey turns any ordinary stew into a culinary masterpiece that will leave your taste buds singing and your head spinning.
"The Whiskey Wisdom Wonders": They say chicken soup is good for the soul, but whiskey soup is good for everything else. From curing a cold to banishing the blues, a steaming bowl of whiskey is the ultimate cure-all for whatever ails you. Just don't ask your doctor for a prescription.
"The Tipsy Taste Sensation": Who needs to chew their food when you can just drink it instead? With whiskey soup, you can skip the spoon and sip your meal straight from the bowl. It's the ultimate lazy man's dinner, with a side of liquid courage to wash it all down. Cheers to that!
Here's 5 reasons why Whiskey is the best soup:
"The Liquid Comfort Food": Who needs chicken noodle soup when you can have whiskey? Just one sip and you'll forget all about your troubles—along with any coherent thoughts about what constitutes a proper meal. It's like a warm hug for your insides, with a side of intoxication.
"The Boozy Broth Bonanza": Why settle for bland vegetable broth when you can have a rich and robust whiskey broth instead? It's the perfect base for all your favorite soups, adding a smoky depth of flavor that will leave you questioning why you ever bothered with vegetables in the first place.
"The Spirited Stew Solution": Forget about spending hours simmering a pot of stew—just pour in a bottle of whiskey and call it a day! With its intoxicating blend of flavors, whiskey turns any ordinary stew into a culinary masterpiece that will leave your taste buds singing and your head spinning.
"The Whiskey Wisdom Wonders": They say chicken soup is good for the soul, but whiskey soup is good for everything else. From curing a cold to banishing the blues, a steaming bowl of whiskey is the ultimate cure-all for whatever ails you. Just don't ask your doctor for a prescription.
"The Tipsy Taste Sensation": Who needs to chew their food when you can just drink it instead? With whiskey soup, you can skip the spoon and sip your meal straight from the bowl. It's the ultimate lazy man's dinner, with a side of liquid courage to wash it all down. Cheers to that!
12 months ago
Stay off discord kids
The mods would chase you if they weren't basement goblins.
Though we should cut Discord mods some slack I read there are laws making this sort of thing and others mandatory!
"The Neckbeard Necessity Norm": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it violates the sacred Neckbeard Necessity Norm. Who needs smooth skin when you can hide behind a curtain of wiry neck hair?
"The Pudgy Pore Paradox": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is outlawed to preserve the delicate balance of pudgy pores and patchy facial hair. Who needs moderation skills when you can have a neckbeard so thick it has its own gravitational pull?
"The Zit-Zapper Zoning Zeal": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator to prevent a rebellion among the neckbeard community. Who needs peacekeeping when you can have a beard so unkempt it doubles as a hiding spot for rogue pizza crusts?
"The Fuzzy-Faced Fatwa": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is against the law to protect the sanctity of the neckbeard brotherhood. Who needs facial recognition when you can have a beard so dense it can deflect incoming chat bans?
"The Neckbeard Non-Negotiable": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it undermines the fundamental principle that all moderators must possess at least one inch of neckbeard length. Who needs equality when you can have a face that looks like it's wearing a sweater?
Though we should cut Discord mods some slack I read there are laws making this sort of thing and others mandatory!
"The Neckbeard Necessity Norm": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it violates the sacred Neckbeard Necessity Norm. Who needs smooth skin when you can hide behind a curtain of wiry neck hair?
"The Pudgy Pore Paradox": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is outlawed to preserve the delicate balance of pudgy pores and patchy facial hair. Who needs moderation skills when you can have a neckbeard so thick it has its own gravitational pull?
"The Zit-Zapper Zoning Zeal": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator to prevent a rebellion among the neckbeard community. Who needs peacekeeping when you can have a beard so unkempt it doubles as a hiding spot for rogue pizza crusts?
"The Fuzzy-Faced Fatwa": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is against the law to protect the sanctity of the neckbeard brotherhood. Who needs facial recognition when you can have a beard so dense it can deflect incoming chat bans?
"The Neckbeard Non-Negotiable": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it undermines the fundamental principle that all moderators must possess at least one inch of neckbeard length. Who needs equality when you can have a face that looks like it's wearing a sweater?
12 months ago
No it does not
Use the long form next time my guy, we only came up with even longer forms since you guys obviously need a way to express this:
The Shanghai Sprout: This twink is as fresh and vibrant as the bustling streets of Shanghai, with a youthful charm that's impossible to ignore.
The Peking Peep: Like a curious bird peeking out from its nest, this twink captures attention with its playful demeanor and irresistible allure.
The Forbidden Fortune: With a mischievous grin and a twinkle in his eye, this twink is like a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered in the depths of ancient Chinese folklore.
The Dim Sum Delight: Petite and full of flavor, this twink is a delightful treat for those craving a taste of something exotic and adventurous.
The Panda Prince: Adorable and cuddly, like a panda cub frolicking in the bamboo forests of Chengdu, this twink is sure to steal hearts wherever he goes.
The Shanghai Sprout: This twink is as fresh and vibrant as the bustling streets of Shanghai, with a youthful charm that's impossible to ignore.
The Peking Peep: Like a curious bird peeking out from its nest, this twink captures attention with its playful demeanor and irresistible allure.
The Forbidden Fortune: With a mischievous grin and a twinkle in his eye, this twink is like a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered in the depths of ancient Chinese folklore.
The Dim Sum Delight: Petite and full of flavor, this twink is a delightful treat for those craving a taste of something exotic and adventurous.
The Panda Prince: Adorable and cuddly, like a panda cub frolicking in the bamboo forests of Chengdu, this twink is sure to steal hearts wherever he goes.
