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1 year ago
Nuclear burn
If the seat post can take it so can the buyer.I invented some more FAQ customer burns:
The Flaming Flop: "Q: What if I don't like the product? A: Well, we can't promise you'll love it, but we can guarantee it'll make a great conversation starter at your next 'Worst Purchase Ever' support group meeting."
The Sizzling Snark: "Q: Does this product come with a warranty? A: Sure, it comes with a warranty that's about as reliable as your ex's promises to 'change.' Good luck with that!"
The Roasting Riddle: "Q: How long does shipping take? A: About as long as it takes for your crush to text you back—so you might want to pack a lunch and settle in for the long haul."
The Charred Comeback: "Q: Is this product eco-friendly? A: Absolutely! It's so eco-friendly, it practically composts itself—just like your hopes and dreams after buying it."
The Toasted Tease: "Q: Can I return the product if it's not what I expected? A: Of course! Just remember, returning this product is a lot like trying to return a bad haircut—you'll have to live with the consequences, but at least it makes for a good story!"
The Flaming Flop: "Q: What if I don't like the product? A: Well, we can't promise you'll love it, but we can guarantee it'll make a great conversation starter at your next 'Worst Purchase Ever' support group meeting."
The Sizzling Snark: "Q: Does this product come with a warranty? A: Sure, it comes with a warranty that's about as reliable as your ex's promises to 'change.' Good luck with that!"
The Roasting Riddle: "Q: How long does shipping take? A: About as long as it takes for your crush to text you back—so you might want to pack a lunch and settle in for the long haul."
The Charred Comeback: "Q: Is this product eco-friendly? A: Absolutely! It's so eco-friendly, it practically composts itself—just like your hopes and dreams after buying it."
The Toasted Tease: "Q: Can I return the product if it's not what I expected? A: Of course! Just remember, returning this product is a lot like trying to return a bad haircut—you'll have to live with the consequences, but at least it makes for a good story!"
11 months ago
11 months ago
1 year ago
They do and they did
Dating is a nightmare hellscape. But is Gen Z dating worse then the Vietnam War? We think it is here's some reasons why:
"The Swipe-Right Struggle": "In the Gen Z dating era, finding love is like navigating a minefield of awkward emojis and cringey pickup lines. At least in Vietnam, you knew who the enemy was—you didn't have to worry about accidentally swiping left on your soulmate."
"The Texting Trenches": "Back in the Vietnam War, soldiers communicated with handwritten letters and occasional radio transmissions. In the Gen Z dating era, it's all about decoding cryptic texts and deciphering the hidden meaning behind every Snapchat streak. Who knew communication could be so hazardous to your mental health?"
"The Battle of the Bios": "In the Gen Z dating era, your dating profile is your battlefield, and your bio is your weapon of choice. But instead of grenades and rifles, you're armed with witty one-liners and carefully curated Spotify playlists. It's like trying to win a war of attrition armed only with your sense of humor and a few well-placed emojis."
"The War of the Selfies": "Forget about combat boots and camouflage—today's soldiers are armed with selfie sticks and Instagram filters. In the Gen Z dating era, it's all about curating the perfect online persona, even if it means spending hours posing for the perfect selfie or agonizing over the right filter. Who needs PTSD when you have FOMO?"
"The Battle of the Ghosts": "In the Gen Z dating era, getting ghosted is like stepping on a landmine—you never see it coming, but the aftermath is devastating. At least in Vietnam, you had a fighting chance of survival. In the dating world, your heart is collateral damage, and there's no Purple Heart for emotional wounds."
"The Swipe-Right Struggle": "In the Gen Z dating era, finding love is like navigating a minefield of awkward emojis and cringey pickup lines. At least in Vietnam, you knew who the enemy was—you didn't have to worry about accidentally swiping left on your soulmate."
"The Texting Trenches": "Back in the Vietnam War, soldiers communicated with handwritten letters and occasional radio transmissions. In the Gen Z dating era, it's all about decoding cryptic texts and deciphering the hidden meaning behind every Snapchat streak. Who knew communication could be so hazardous to your mental health?"
"The Battle of the Bios": "In the Gen Z dating era, your dating profile is your battlefield, and your bio is your weapon of choice. But instead of grenades and rifles, you're armed with witty one-liners and carefully curated Spotify playlists. It's like trying to win a war of attrition armed only with your sense of humor and a few well-placed emojis."
"The War of the Selfies": "Forget about combat boots and camouflage—today's soldiers are armed with selfie sticks and Instagram filters. In the Gen Z dating era, it's all about curating the perfect online persona, even if it means spending hours posing for the perfect selfie or agonizing over the right filter. Who needs PTSD when you have FOMO?"
"The Battle of the Ghosts": "In the Gen Z dating era, getting ghosted is like stepping on a landmine—you never see it coming, but the aftermath is devastating. At least in Vietnam, you had a fighting chance of survival. In the dating world, your heart is collateral damage, and there's no Purple Heart for emotional wounds."
1 year ago
The cat would apreciate it
Or not i don't know i'm not really a cat...or am i? Here I even have proof maybe
"Keyboard Cat-tastrophy Avoided":
"Given the lack of paw prints on the keyboard, it's safe to assume this writer is not a feline mastermind. No accidental 'cat-typing' here – just human fingers doing the typing!"
"No Fur-ocious Typos":
"With impeccable spelling and grammar, it's clear this writer has opposable thumbs and not fluffy paws. No 'meow-sakes' to be found – just purr-fectly crafted sentences!"
"Lack of Random Napping":
"Unlike a cat, this writer hasn't suddenly dozed off mid-sentence, leaving behind a trail of z's. Looks like they're staying awake and focused – a clear sign of human behavior!"
"Allergic to Cat-astrophes":
"With a distinct absence of knocked-over coffee mugs and shredded paper, it's evident this writer is not prone to feline antics. No furballs or broken vases here – just a tidy workspace!"
"A Preference for Coffee Over Milk":
"Instead of lapping up a saucer of milk, this writer is fueling their creativity with a steaming cup of coffee. Looks like they prefer caffeine over calcium – a sure sign of human taste buds!"
"Keyboard Cat-tastrophy Avoided":
"Given the lack of paw prints on the keyboard, it's safe to assume this writer is not a feline mastermind. No accidental 'cat-typing' here – just human fingers doing the typing!"
"No Fur-ocious Typos":
"With impeccable spelling and grammar, it's clear this writer has opposable thumbs and not fluffy paws. No 'meow-sakes' to be found – just purr-fectly crafted sentences!"
"Lack of Random Napping":
"Unlike a cat, this writer hasn't suddenly dozed off mid-sentence, leaving behind a trail of z's. Looks like they're staying awake and focused – a clear sign of human behavior!"
"Allergic to Cat-astrophes":
"With a distinct absence of knocked-over coffee mugs and shredded paper, it's evident this writer is not prone to feline antics. No furballs or broken vases here – just a tidy workspace!"
"A Preference for Coffee Over Milk":
"Instead of lapping up a saucer of milk, this writer is fueling their creativity with a steaming cup of coffee. Looks like they prefer caffeine over calcium – a sure sign of human taste buds!"
11 months ago
11 months ago
