Register for a no ad experience.
9 months ago
Wholesome flirting
What a cute relationship. Forever alone people don't continue reading, here's 5 reasons why kissing your girlfriend is cute:
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
9 months ago
Drinking is fun though
Or so i'm told memes are my escapism of choice
Many regrettable things can happen when you get shitfaced such as
The "Urgent Urge":
You underestimate your bladder's rebellion after too many drinks and embark on a frantic quest for a restroom, realizing too late that it's already too little, too late.
The "Projectile Protest":
Attempting a discreet vomit session, you find yourself in the wrong spot, spraying your surroundings with an unexpected technicolor yawn.
The "Toilet Tango":
Misjudging the distance, you perform a splashdown maneuver, turning your bathroom into a splashy scene from a water park.
The "Barstool Surprise":
Seeking refuge on a barstool, you discover too late it's already occupied – by your own vomit.
The "Ink Incident":
An uncontrollable laugh leads to an unexpected vomit stream, transforming your night into a messy masterpiece.
Many regrettable things can happen when you get shitfaced such as
The "Urgent Urge":
You underestimate your bladder's rebellion after too many drinks and embark on a frantic quest for a restroom, realizing too late that it's already too little, too late.
The "Projectile Protest":
Attempting a discreet vomit session, you find yourself in the wrong spot, spraying your surroundings with an unexpected technicolor yawn.
The "Toilet Tango":
Misjudging the distance, you perform a splashdown maneuver, turning your bathroom into a splashy scene from a water park.
The "Barstool Surprise":
Seeking refuge on a barstool, you discover too late it's already occupied – by your own vomit.
The "Ink Incident":
An uncontrollable laugh leads to an unexpected vomit stream, transforming your night into a messy masterpiece.
6 months ago
6 months ago
6 months ago
9 months ago
I have seen women yes
So out of my league it's depressing, there might be a few reasons why this person might be facing this issue:
"The Waifu Worshipper": I'm about as likely to land a date as a neckbeard at a speed dating event. My devotion to my waifu is stronger than my ability to approach real-life women. At least my body pillow doesn't judge my taste in anime.
"The Body Pillow Bachelor": Let's face it, my chances of scoring a date are slimmer than an anime protagonist's chances of winning a harem. My body pillow is my one true love—it never complains about my questionable hygiene habits or my extensive collection of waifu figurines.
"The Anime Aficionado": I'm more comfortable discussing the intricacies of anime plotlines than I am flirting with real people. My idea of a romantic evening involves binge-watching my favorite series with my body pillow by my side. Who needs a date when you have a waifu to keep you company?
"The Neckbeard Novice": I've mastered the art of growing a neckbeard, but when it comes to dating, I'm as clueless as a side character in a harem anime. My attempts at wooing women are about as successful as a tsundere's attempts to confess her feelings. Guess I'll stick to my body pillow for now.
"The Forever Alone Otaku": My love life is as barren as the desert wastelands in a post-apocalyptic anime. While my friends are out on dates, I'm at home cuddling my body pillow and rewatching my favorite series for the umpteenth time. Who needs romance when you have waifus and body pillows?
"The Waifu Worshipper": I'm about as likely to land a date as a neckbeard at a speed dating event. My devotion to my waifu is stronger than my ability to approach real-life women. At least my body pillow doesn't judge my taste in anime.
"The Body Pillow Bachelor": Let's face it, my chances of scoring a date are slimmer than an anime protagonist's chances of winning a harem. My body pillow is my one true love—it never complains about my questionable hygiene habits or my extensive collection of waifu figurines.
"The Anime Aficionado": I'm more comfortable discussing the intricacies of anime plotlines than I am flirting with real people. My idea of a romantic evening involves binge-watching my favorite series with my body pillow by my side. Who needs a date when you have a waifu to keep you company?
"The Neckbeard Novice": I've mastered the art of growing a neckbeard, but when it comes to dating, I'm as clueless as a side character in a harem anime. My attempts at wooing women are about as successful as a tsundere's attempts to confess her feelings. Guess I'll stick to my body pillow for now.
"The Forever Alone Otaku": My love life is as barren as the desert wastelands in a post-apocalyptic anime. While my friends are out on dates, I'm at home cuddling my body pillow and rewatching my favorite series for the umpteenth time. Who needs romance when you have waifus and body pillows?
9 months ago
Hidden health benefits of being clobered
A very healthy spout of blunt force trauma! A real advantage in life! Here are the hidden health benefits of juvenile blunt force trauma:
"Natural Selection Training Camp": Dodging dodgeballs is nature's way of weeding out the weak and preparing the survivors for life's unexpected curveballs. Congratulations, you've survived the dodgeball gauntlet—you're officially certified as a survivor of the fittest!
"The Dodgeball Diet": Who needs expensive gym memberships and fad diets when you have dodgeballs delivering impromptu workouts? Dodging dodgeballs burns calories faster than you can say "ouch," ensuring you stay slim and trim without sacrificing your love of pizza.
"Dodgeball Detox Program": Dodging dodgeballs is like a detox program for your body, flushing out toxins and impurities with every dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. Say goodbye to expensive juice cleanses and hello to the dodgeball cleanse—because nothing says "clean living" like dodging rubber projectiles.
"The Dodgeball Doctor's Prescription": Need a quick pick-me-up? Forget about coffee and energy drinks—dodging dodgeballs is the ultimate caffeine-free energy boost. The adrenaline rush and heart-pounding excitement are better than any cup of joe, guaranteed to jump-start your day with a bang (or several).
"The Dodgeball Doctor's Orders": According to the dodgeball doctor, laughter is the best medicine—and there's nothing funnier than getting clobbered with a dodgeball. So next time you're feeling down in the dumps, just remember: a dodgeball to the face is the ultimate cure for the blues.
"Natural Selection Training Camp": Dodging dodgeballs is nature's way of weeding out the weak and preparing the survivors for life's unexpected curveballs. Congratulations, you've survived the dodgeball gauntlet—you're officially certified as a survivor of the fittest!
"The Dodgeball Diet": Who needs expensive gym memberships and fad diets when you have dodgeballs delivering impromptu workouts? Dodging dodgeballs burns calories faster than you can say "ouch," ensuring you stay slim and trim without sacrificing your love of pizza.
"Dodgeball Detox Program": Dodging dodgeballs is like a detox program for your body, flushing out toxins and impurities with every dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. Say goodbye to expensive juice cleanses and hello to the dodgeball cleanse—because nothing says "clean living" like dodging rubber projectiles.
"The Dodgeball Doctor's Prescription": Need a quick pick-me-up? Forget about coffee and energy drinks—dodging dodgeballs is the ultimate caffeine-free energy boost. The adrenaline rush and heart-pounding excitement are better than any cup of joe, guaranteed to jump-start your day with a bang (or several).
"The Dodgeball Doctor's Orders": According to the dodgeball doctor, laughter is the best medicine—and there's nothing funnier than getting clobbered with a dodgeball. So next time you're feeling down in the dumps, just remember: a dodgeball to the face is the ultimate cure for the blues.
