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1 year ago
Never share your wi-fi password
3am wondering why you can't load a youtube video while your neighbor is torrenting
Here are some passive aggressive ways to stop the neighborhood ass-weasel from using your wifi
"Fort Knox Connection":
Secure your WiFi network with a password so complex that even the NSA would struggle to crack it. When your neighbor asks for the password, tell them it's classified information and you'd have to consult with the FBI to share it.
"Bandwidth Black Hole":
Prioritize your devices on the network and allocate minimal bandwidth to guest devices. If your neighbor complains about slow internet, blame it on "internet gremlins" or suggest they upgrade to a "hamster-powered modem" for faster speeds.
"Top Secret Network":
Rename your WiFi network to "Area 51 Surveillance Network" or "FBI Surveillance Van #42" to give your neighbor a chuckle and a hint that their online activities are being closely monitored... by you!
"Wi-Not-So-Free Zone":
Leave a humorous note on your door saying something like, "Welcome to the WiFi-free zone! We're saving bandwidth for cat videos and pizza deliveries only. Thanks for understanding!"
"Invisible Internet":
Tell your neighbor that your WiFi network is powered by "quantum entanglement" and only accessible to those who possess the secret of teleportation. Offer to teach them the secret in exchange for a lifetime supply of cookies.
Here are some passive aggressive ways to stop the neighborhood ass-weasel from using your wifi
"Fort Knox Connection":
Secure your WiFi network with a password so complex that even the NSA would struggle to crack it. When your neighbor asks for the password, tell them it's classified information and you'd have to consult with the FBI to share it.
"Bandwidth Black Hole":
Prioritize your devices on the network and allocate minimal bandwidth to guest devices. If your neighbor complains about slow internet, blame it on "internet gremlins" or suggest they upgrade to a "hamster-powered modem" for faster speeds.
"Top Secret Network":
Rename your WiFi network to "Area 51 Surveillance Network" or "FBI Surveillance Van #42" to give your neighbor a chuckle and a hint that their online activities are being closely monitored... by you!
"Wi-Not-So-Free Zone":
Leave a humorous note on your door saying something like, "Welcome to the WiFi-free zone! We're saving bandwidth for cat videos and pizza deliveries only. Thanks for understanding!"
"Invisible Internet":
Tell your neighbor that your WiFi network is powered by "quantum entanglement" and only accessible to those who possess the secret of teleportation. Offer to teach them the secret in exchange for a lifetime supply of cookies.
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Skibidi toilet or whatever kids say
Learning to speak zoomer language. Skibidi toilet is just that good that all ages should enjoy it though, here's some reasons why:
The Bathroom Boogie: "Because who knew that your daily dump could become a dance extravaganza? With the Skibidi Toilet series, every trip to the loo is a chance to bust out your best moves and get jiggy with it."
The Toilet Talk Show: "Because forget about late-night TV—why not catch up on the latest gossip and hot topics while you're doing your business? With the Skibidi Toilet series, you'll never miss a beat, or a bowel movement."
The Lavatory Laughs: "Because laughter is the best medicine, especially when you're sitting on the throne. From hilarious sketches to outrageous pranks, the Skibidi Toilet series is guaranteed to have you in stitches."
The Porcelain Playground: "Because who needs a fancy set and high production values when you've got a toilet as your stage? The Skibidi Toilet series proves that comedy gold can be found in the most unexpected places—even in the bathroom."
The Commode Comedy Revolution: "Because the Skibidi Toilet series is more than just a YouTube channel—it's a movement. With its irreverent humor and boundary-pushing content, it's redefining what it means to be a bathroom influencer, one flush at a time."
The Bathroom Boogie: "Because who knew that your daily dump could become a dance extravaganza? With the Skibidi Toilet series, every trip to the loo is a chance to bust out your best moves and get jiggy with it."
The Toilet Talk Show: "Because forget about late-night TV—why not catch up on the latest gossip and hot topics while you're doing your business? With the Skibidi Toilet series, you'll never miss a beat, or a bowel movement."
The Lavatory Laughs: "Because laughter is the best medicine, especially when you're sitting on the throne. From hilarious sketches to outrageous pranks, the Skibidi Toilet series is guaranteed to have you in stitches."
The Porcelain Playground: "Because who needs a fancy set and high production values when you've got a toilet as your stage? The Skibidi Toilet series proves that comedy gold can be found in the most unexpected places—even in the bathroom."
The Commode Comedy Revolution: "Because the Skibidi Toilet series is more than just a YouTube channel—it's a movement. With its irreverent humor and boundary-pushing content, it's redefining what it means to be a bathroom influencer, one flush at a time."
1 year ago
Best insult i've heard
It's free real estate. Here's more dick related high school insults:
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"
The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"
The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"
The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"
The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"
1 year ago
Take off your sunglasses
While wearing rose colored glasses the red flags were easily missed, You shouldn't miss your ex and here's why:
The Cheat Sheet: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a pop quiz in hell—sure, there's a chance you'll pass, but do you really want to risk it?"
The Infidelity Inconvenience: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a rerun of your least favorite TV show—sure, you might wonder how it ends, but you'll survive without the drama."
The Betrayal Backfire: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a leaky faucet—sure, it's annoying when it's dripping, but once it's fixed, you realize how much quieter life can be without the constant drip, drip, drip of betrayal."
The Deception Dilemma: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a bad case of food poisoning—sure, it was intense while it lasted, but now that it's over, you can finally enjoy a meal without the fear of projectile vomiting."
The Cheater's Conundrum: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a flat tire on a road trip—sure, it's a bump in the road, but once you change it and keep driving, you realize how much smoother the journey is without the constant threat of a blowout."
The Cheat Sheet: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a pop quiz in hell—sure, there's a chance you'll pass, but do you really want to risk it?"
The Infidelity Inconvenience: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a rerun of your least favorite TV show—sure, you might wonder how it ends, but you'll survive without the drama."
The Betrayal Backfire: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a leaky faucet—sure, it's annoying when it's dripping, but once it's fixed, you realize how much quieter life can be without the constant drip, drip, drip of betrayal."
The Deception Dilemma: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a bad case of food poisoning—sure, it was intense while it lasted, but now that it's over, you can finally enjoy a meal without the fear of projectile vomiting."
The Cheater's Conundrum: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a flat tire on a road trip—sure, it's a bump in the road, but once you change it and keep driving, you realize how much smoother the journey is without the constant threat of a blowout."
1 year ago
Reddit moment
Did he ban himself? Maybe he should! Reddit is not something you want in your life. Here are some reasons why getting banned on Reddit will make your life better:
"The Digital Detox Diet": Getting banned on Reddit is the ultimate weight loss hack. Without endless scrolling through memes and heated debates, you'll have more time to hit the gym and shed those extra pounds. Who needs subreddits when you've got gains to make?
"The Swipe Right Surprise": Thanks to your banned status on Reddit, you'll finally have something interesting to talk about on Tinder. Explaining how you got banned from r/aww for posting too many cat memes is sure to impress potential dates—or at least make for a memorable conversation starter.
"The Social Interaction Upgrade": With your Reddit access revoked, you'll have more time to focus on real-life social interactions. Who needs upvotes when you can get real-life compliments from friends and strangers alike? Plus, without the stress of Reddit drama, you'll feel lighter and happier in no time.
"The Stress-Free Strategy": Getting banned on Reddit is like a weight lifted off your shoulders—literally. Without the constant stress of trying to keep up with the latest memes and trends, you'll feel lighter and more carefree than ever before. Who knew that digital detox could be so liberating?
"The Healthier Habits": With your Reddit ban in place, you'll have more time to focus on healthy habits like cooking nutritious meals and getting a good night's sleep. Who needs late-night Reddit browsing when you can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day?
"The Digital Detox Diet": Getting banned on Reddit is the ultimate weight loss hack. Without endless scrolling through memes and heated debates, you'll have more time to hit the gym and shed those extra pounds. Who needs subreddits when you've got gains to make?
"The Swipe Right Surprise": Thanks to your banned status on Reddit, you'll finally have something interesting to talk about on Tinder. Explaining how you got banned from r/aww for posting too many cat memes is sure to impress potential dates—or at least make for a memorable conversation starter.
"The Social Interaction Upgrade": With your Reddit access revoked, you'll have more time to focus on real-life social interactions. Who needs upvotes when you can get real-life compliments from friends and strangers alike? Plus, without the stress of Reddit drama, you'll feel lighter and happier in no time.
"The Stress-Free Strategy": Getting banned on Reddit is like a weight lifted off your shoulders—literally. Without the constant stress of trying to keep up with the latest memes and trends, you'll feel lighter and more carefree than ever before. Who knew that digital detox could be so liberating?
"The Healthier Habits": With your Reddit ban in place, you'll have more time to focus on healthy habits like cooking nutritious meals and getting a good night's sleep. Who needs late-night Reddit browsing when you can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day?
