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2 years ago
Asking existential questions
Poor dude never considered why his name was David. So we did for him since we have nothing better to do:
The Biblical Banter: "Because being named David means you're automatically inducted into the unofficial 'Cool Names from the Bible' club—move over, Moses and Noah, there's a new shepherd in town, and he's armed with a slingshot and a killer haircut!"
The Statue Struggle: "Because being named David means you're constantly compared to a marble masterpiece—sure, Michelangelo's sculpture might have chiseled abs and a steely gaze, but can it shotgun a beer in under three seconds? Didn't think so."
The Size Speculation: "Because being named David means you're destined to field endless questions about the size of your 'stone'—but don't worry, it's not the size of the slingshot that matters, it's how you aim it at the Goliaths of life."
The Identity Irony: "Because being named David means you're forever doomed to be confused with every other David in the world—no, not the one from accounting, or the one from your mom's book club, or the one who dated your sister in high school. The other other David."
The Musical Misfortune: "Because being named David means you're contractually obligated to endure endless renditions of 'David, David, Bo-Bavid, Banana-Fana Fo-Favid'—just smile and nod, David, and maybe one day they'll run out of rhymes for your name."
The Biblical Banter: "Because being named David means you're automatically inducted into the unofficial 'Cool Names from the Bible' club—move over, Moses and Noah, there's a new shepherd in town, and he's armed with a slingshot and a killer haircut!"
The Statue Struggle: "Because being named David means you're constantly compared to a marble masterpiece—sure, Michelangelo's sculpture might have chiseled abs and a steely gaze, but can it shotgun a beer in under three seconds? Didn't think so."
The Size Speculation: "Because being named David means you're destined to field endless questions about the size of your 'stone'—but don't worry, it's not the size of the slingshot that matters, it's how you aim it at the Goliaths of life."
The Identity Irony: "Because being named David means you're forever doomed to be confused with every other David in the world—no, not the one from accounting, or the one from your mom's book club, or the one who dated your sister in high school. The other other David."
The Musical Misfortune: "Because being named David means you're contractually obligated to endure endless renditions of 'David, David, Bo-Bavid, Banana-Fana Fo-Favid'—just smile and nod, David, and maybe one day they'll run out of rhymes for your name."
2 years ago
Economic Facts Nudes versus NFTs
Large supply affects demand and price. Paying for nudes? Even Bored Apes can hold a LITTLE value!
Here's why paying for nudes is worse then buying NFT's and ultimately a bad financial decision:
"You're Investing in Non-Fungible Teases": Congratulations, you've just entered the world of non-fungible teases—digital assets that are as fleeting as they are questionable. Sure, you own the rights to that tantalizing image, but good luck convincing anyone it's worth more than a pixelated peek.
"You're Contributing to the NFT Craze... Just Not in the Art World": While everyone else is busy trading digital artwork for exorbitant sums, you're pioneering the next frontier of NFTs: Notoriously Fickle Tantalizations. Who needs a virtual Mona Lisa when you can have a virtual... well, you get the idea.
"You're Turning Your Wallet into a Digital Art Museum... of Sorts": Forget about buying actual art for your walls—your wallet is now a digital art museum showcasing a collection of pixelated masterpieces. Just don't expect any museum grants or tax breaks for your... ahem, contributions.
"You're Embracing the Digital Renaissance... with Open Wallets": Move over, Michelangelo—there's a new Renaissance in town, and it's digital. By investing in digital nudes, you're not just supporting artists; you're single-handedly funding a revolution in the art world. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself.
"You're Riding the NFT Wave... Straight into Pixelated Obscurity": While others ride the wave of NFT mania to financial glory, you're surfing a different kind of wave—one that leads straight into the murky waters of pixelated obscurity. But hey, at least you're making a splash in the digital world... right?
Here's why paying for nudes is worse then buying NFT's and ultimately a bad financial decision:
"You're Investing in Non-Fungible Teases": Congratulations, you've just entered the world of non-fungible teases—digital assets that are as fleeting as they are questionable. Sure, you own the rights to that tantalizing image, but good luck convincing anyone it's worth more than a pixelated peek.
"You're Contributing to the NFT Craze... Just Not in the Art World": While everyone else is busy trading digital artwork for exorbitant sums, you're pioneering the next frontier of NFTs: Notoriously Fickle Tantalizations. Who needs a virtual Mona Lisa when you can have a virtual... well, you get the idea.
"You're Turning Your Wallet into a Digital Art Museum... of Sorts": Forget about buying actual art for your walls—your wallet is now a digital art museum showcasing a collection of pixelated masterpieces. Just don't expect any museum grants or tax breaks for your... ahem, contributions.
"You're Embracing the Digital Renaissance... with Open Wallets": Move over, Michelangelo—there's a new Renaissance in town, and it's digital. By investing in digital nudes, you're not just supporting artists; you're single-handedly funding a revolution in the art world. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself.
"You're Riding the NFT Wave... Straight into Pixelated Obscurity": While others ride the wave of NFT mania to financial glory, you're surfing a different kind of wave—one that leads straight into the murky waters of pixelated obscurity. But hey, at least you're making a splash in the digital world... right?
2 years ago
We never got an answer
Is it because the chemicals turned them gay? Probably not but for some strange reason bisexuals and frogs just go together.
These are the best reasons as to why we go from our intern while phoning him drunk on a Saturday night at 2 am:
here are five humorous reasons why bisexuals might have a soft spot for frogs:
"Bi-Frog-uals": Frogs are the ultimate symbol of bisexuality—they're neither fully aquatic nor fully terrestrial, just like those who swing both ways. It's like nature's way of saying, "Why choose when you can have the best of both worlds?"
"Hoppy Endings": Who can resist the adorable sight of a frog hopping around, living its best amphibian life? It's like a metaphor for embracing your true self and hopping from lily pad to lily pad in search of love and acceptance.
"Ribbiting Romance": There's something undeniably romantic about the sound of a frog's croak echoing through the night. It's like nature's way of serenading you with the dulcet tones of amphibian love songs. Who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a moonlit serenade from your favorite frog?
"Kiss Me, I'm Bisexual": We've all heard the story of the princess who kissed a frog and turned him into a prince. But what if the princess was actually a bisexual who just couldn't resist the allure of those smooth, slimy lips? It's a fairy tale for the modern age.
"Frog Equality": Frogs don't discriminate—they'll happily hop into the arms of anyone who shows them a little love and affection. It's like they're the ultimate ambassadors for inclusivity and acceptance, spreading love (and tadpoles) wherever they go.
These are the best reasons as to why we go from our intern while phoning him drunk on a Saturday night at 2 am:
here are five humorous reasons why bisexuals might have a soft spot for frogs:
"Bi-Frog-uals": Frogs are the ultimate symbol of bisexuality—they're neither fully aquatic nor fully terrestrial, just like those who swing both ways. It's like nature's way of saying, "Why choose when you can have the best of both worlds?"
"Hoppy Endings": Who can resist the adorable sight of a frog hopping around, living its best amphibian life? It's like a metaphor for embracing your true self and hopping from lily pad to lily pad in search of love and acceptance.
"Ribbiting Romance": There's something undeniably romantic about the sound of a frog's croak echoing through the night. It's like nature's way of serenading you with the dulcet tones of amphibian love songs. Who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a moonlit serenade from your favorite frog?
"Kiss Me, I'm Bisexual": We've all heard the story of the princess who kissed a frog and turned him into a prince. But what if the princess was actually a bisexual who just couldn't resist the allure of those smooth, slimy lips? It's a fairy tale for the modern age.
"Frog Equality": Frogs don't discriminate—they'll happily hop into the arms of anyone who shows them a little love and affection. It's like they're the ultimate ambassadors for inclusivity and acceptance, spreading love (and tadpoles) wherever they go.
2 years ago
2 years ago
OMG yes I'm one of the people who hate you!
Sometimes you don't get the answers you want. Though asking is hard and unpleasant ! What if we could tell without asking?
Here are five lighthearted and exaggerated signs someone might hate you on social media:
"The Emoji Enigma": Instead of a friendly :) or even a neutral :) , every comment they leave on your posts is accompanied by the dreaded :| emoji. It's like they have an entire arsenal of passive-aggressive emojis at their disposal, and they're not afraid to use them.
"The Unfollow Unveiling": You notice that they've unfollowed you on every social media platform, from Instagram to Twitter to LinkedIn. It's like they're trying to erase every digital trace of your existence, one click at a time.
"The Caption Conundrum": Whenever they tag you in a post or photo, the caption reads like a thinly veiled insult disguised as a compliment. "Here's me and my least favorite person in the world, having the worst time ever. #BlessedNotToBeWithThem"
"The Photo Filter Fiasco": Every time you post a selfie, they're quick to comment on how "interesting" your choice of filter is. It's like they're not even trying to hide their disdain for your duckface and puppy ears combo.
"The Hashtag Hint": They start using passive-aggressive hashtags in their own posts, like #FakeFriends, #ShadySquad, or #NotMyFave. It's like they're trying to send you a subtle message without actually having to confront you directly.
Here are five lighthearted and exaggerated signs someone might hate you on social media:
"The Emoji Enigma": Instead of a friendly :) or even a neutral :) , every comment they leave on your posts is accompanied by the dreaded :| emoji. It's like they have an entire arsenal of passive-aggressive emojis at their disposal, and they're not afraid to use them.
"The Unfollow Unveiling": You notice that they've unfollowed you on every social media platform, from Instagram to Twitter to LinkedIn. It's like they're trying to erase every digital trace of your existence, one click at a time.
"The Caption Conundrum": Whenever they tag you in a post or photo, the caption reads like a thinly veiled insult disguised as a compliment. "Here's me and my least favorite person in the world, having the worst time ever. #BlessedNotToBeWithThem"
"The Photo Filter Fiasco": Every time you post a selfie, they're quick to comment on how "interesting" your choice of filter is. It's like they're not even trying to hide their disdain for your duckface and puppy ears combo.
"The Hashtag Hint": They start using passive-aggressive hashtags in their own posts, like #FakeFriends, #ShadySquad, or #NotMyFave. It's like they're trying to send you a subtle message without actually having to confront you directly.
2 years ago
Emergency sevices are sick of her bullshit
Nurse Joy's hate her and know her by name
They provided a pretty good list of why Pokeballs make bad sex toys
"Gotta Catch 'Em All... Except There!":
"Pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon, but trying to catch something else might result in a painful 'wild encounter.' Let's just say Pikachu wouldn't be the only one feeling electric shocks!"
"Not So Pocket-Sized Pleasure":
"While pokeballs are conveniently palm-sized, they're not exactly ergonomic for intimate use. Plus, that button in the center? Let's just say pressing it might result in more than you bargained for!"
"Unintended Evolution":
"Ever heard of 'evolution stones'? Well, using a pokeball as a sex toy might lead to an unintended evolution of your anatomy – and not in a way that Professor Oak would approve of!"
"Catch and Release... With Caution":
"Sure, pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon and releasing them later, but trying to 'release' yourself from a pokeball might involve a trip to the emergency room – or worse, Nurse Joy!"
"Not So Legendary Performance":
"While pokeballs are legendary for catching legendary Pokemon, they're not exactly built for legendary performance in the bedroom. Stick to using them for catching Charmander, not... other fiery encounters!"
They provided a pretty good list of why Pokeballs make bad sex toys
"Gotta Catch 'Em All... Except There!":
"Pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon, but trying to catch something else might result in a painful 'wild encounter.' Let's just say Pikachu wouldn't be the only one feeling electric shocks!"
"Not So Pocket-Sized Pleasure":
"While pokeballs are conveniently palm-sized, they're not exactly ergonomic for intimate use. Plus, that button in the center? Let's just say pressing it might result in more than you bargained for!"
"Unintended Evolution":
"Ever heard of 'evolution stones'? Well, using a pokeball as a sex toy might lead to an unintended evolution of your anatomy – and not in a way that Professor Oak would approve of!"
"Catch and Release... With Caution":
"Sure, pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon and releasing them later, but trying to 'release' yourself from a pokeball might involve a trip to the emergency room – or worse, Nurse Joy!"
"Not So Legendary Performance":
"While pokeballs are legendary for catching legendary Pokemon, they're not exactly built for legendary performance in the bedroom. Stick to using them for catching Charmander, not... other fiery encounters!"
2 years ago
Rough for the kid
They both suck FAIL. DNA tests on the other hand are awesome and here's some reasons why:
The Genetic Game Show: "Because DNA tests are like a reality TV competition where you get to uncover the ultimate truth about your ancestry—move over, 'Survivor,' there's a new tribe in town, and they're all related!"
The Family Feud Fiesta: "Because DNA tests turn family reunions into a high-stakes guessing game—forget about potato sack races and three-legged races, the real competition is trying to guess which cousin twice removed is actually a long-lost sibling."
The Ancestry Antics: "Because DNA tests are like playing detective in a genetic mystery novel—except instead of solving crimes, you're uncovering scandalous secrets and hidden family skeletons. Who needs 'Sherlock Holmes' when you've got a swab and a test tube?"
The Surprise Spectacle: "Because DNA tests are like opening a surprise present on Christmas morning—except instead of getting a new toy or a pair of socks, you're finding out that your great-grandmother was actually a pirate queen or your uncle is secretly a long-lost member of the royal family."
The Identity Inquiry: "Because DNA tests are like taking a ride on the world's craziest roller coaster—except instead of twists and turns, you're navigating a wild ride through your own genetic code, discovering hidden talents, bizarre quirks, and the occasional unexpected mutation. Who needs amusement parks when you've got the double helix?"
The Genetic Game Show: "Because DNA tests are like a reality TV competition where you get to uncover the ultimate truth about your ancestry—move over, 'Survivor,' there's a new tribe in town, and they're all related!"
The Family Feud Fiesta: "Because DNA tests turn family reunions into a high-stakes guessing game—forget about potato sack races and three-legged races, the real competition is trying to guess which cousin twice removed is actually a long-lost sibling."
The Ancestry Antics: "Because DNA tests are like playing detective in a genetic mystery novel—except instead of solving crimes, you're uncovering scandalous secrets and hidden family skeletons. Who needs 'Sherlock Holmes' when you've got a swab and a test tube?"
The Surprise Spectacle: "Because DNA tests are like opening a surprise present on Christmas morning—except instead of getting a new toy or a pair of socks, you're finding out that your great-grandmother was actually a pirate queen or your uncle is secretly a long-lost member of the royal family."
The Identity Inquiry: "Because DNA tests are like taking a ride on the world's craziest roller coaster—except instead of twists and turns, you're navigating a wild ride through your own genetic code, discovering hidden talents, bizarre quirks, and the occasional unexpected mutation. Who needs amusement parks when you've got the double helix?"
