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2 years ago
War is bad
You heard it here first. The government might say high taxes spent for war is a good thing, here are the reasons some horrible person in power might come up with:
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
1 year ago
2 years ago
Streight to the point
He loves that tsundere stuff,but would he love it in real life?
Here's out thought on the matter:
"Emotional Whiplash Central": It's like being trapped in a soap opera directed by a caffeinated squirrel. One moment, she's showering you with affection, and the next, she's treating you like a rejected NPC in a video game. You'll need a neck brace to keep up with the rapid mood swings!
"The Language of Love... and Snark": Trying to express your feelings becomes a linguistic minefield. "I guess you're okay, baka" could mean anything from "I love you" to "You're sleeping on the couch tonight." Good luck deciphering that Rosetta Stone of sass!
"Dining Drama": Dinner dates are less candlelit romance and more culinary combat zone. She insists she doesn't want your fries but ends up stealing them when you look away. Sharing a meal becomes a strategic battle for survival (and your side of the appetizer).
"Gift Giving Gone Wrong": Buying presents is like playing Russian roulette with your wallet. Get her something too sentimental, and she'll scoff at your cheesy gesture. Get her something practical, and she'll accuse you of not caring. It's a lose-lose situation that leaves you questioning your gift-giving prowess.
"The Great Blushing Conundrum": Witnessing her blush is rarer than finding a unicorn riding a unicycle. When it does happen, you're torn between feeling victorious and wondering if she's coming down with a fever. Either way, it's a momentous occasion worthy of a commemorative plaque.
Here's out thought on the matter:
"Emotional Whiplash Central": It's like being trapped in a soap opera directed by a caffeinated squirrel. One moment, she's showering you with affection, and the next, she's treating you like a rejected NPC in a video game. You'll need a neck brace to keep up with the rapid mood swings!
"The Language of Love... and Snark": Trying to express your feelings becomes a linguistic minefield. "I guess you're okay, baka" could mean anything from "I love you" to "You're sleeping on the couch tonight." Good luck deciphering that Rosetta Stone of sass!
"Dining Drama": Dinner dates are less candlelit romance and more culinary combat zone. She insists she doesn't want your fries but ends up stealing them when you look away. Sharing a meal becomes a strategic battle for survival (and your side of the appetizer).
"Gift Giving Gone Wrong": Buying presents is like playing Russian roulette with your wallet. Get her something too sentimental, and she'll scoff at your cheesy gesture. Get her something practical, and she'll accuse you of not caring. It's a lose-lose situation that leaves you questioning your gift-giving prowess.
"The Great Blushing Conundrum": Witnessing her blush is rarer than finding a unicorn riding a unicycle. When it does happen, you're torn between feeling victorious and wondering if she's coming down with a fever. Either way, it's a momentous occasion worthy of a commemorative plaque.
2 years ago
Top tier banter
She won...hands down she won
Here are five humorous ways to embarrass your brother in public:
The "Singing Sibling Serenade" Strategy:
Belt out his favorite childhood songs at the top of your lungs whenever you're out together, complete with exaggerated dance moves and dramatic gestures. Bonus points for choosing embarrassing tunes like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" or the Barney theme song.
The "Fashion Police Prank" Ploy:
Show up to his workplace or a social event wearing matching outfits, whether it's matching Hawaiian shirts, neon spandex, or superhero costumes. Then proceed to loudly proclaim your status as the ultimate sibling fashion icons.
The "Sibling Secrets Spill" Shenanigan:
Casually drop embarrassing childhood stories or inside jokes into conversation with his friends or coworkers, making sure to embellish the details for maximum cringe factor. Nothing says "bonding moment" like reminiscing about that time he got stuck in the doggy door.
The "Public PDA Parade" Plan:
Shower him with overly affectionate hugs, kisses, and declarations of love whenever you're in public together, much to his dismay. Bonus points for using embarrassing pet names like "Snugglebug" or "Cuddlebuns" within earshot of his crush.
The "Talent Show Tease" Tactic:
Sign him up for an open mic night or talent show without his knowledge and prepare a hilariously terrible performance in his name, whether it's an off-key rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" or an interpretive dance to the Macarena. Sit back and watch as he squirms in embarrassment from the audience.
Here are five humorous ways to embarrass your brother in public:
The "Singing Sibling Serenade" Strategy:
Belt out his favorite childhood songs at the top of your lungs whenever you're out together, complete with exaggerated dance moves and dramatic gestures. Bonus points for choosing embarrassing tunes like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" or the Barney theme song.
The "Fashion Police Prank" Ploy:
Show up to his workplace or a social event wearing matching outfits, whether it's matching Hawaiian shirts, neon spandex, or superhero costumes. Then proceed to loudly proclaim your status as the ultimate sibling fashion icons.
The "Sibling Secrets Spill" Shenanigan:
Casually drop embarrassing childhood stories or inside jokes into conversation with his friends or coworkers, making sure to embellish the details for maximum cringe factor. Nothing says "bonding moment" like reminiscing about that time he got stuck in the doggy door.
The "Public PDA Parade" Plan:
Shower him with overly affectionate hugs, kisses, and declarations of love whenever you're in public together, much to his dismay. Bonus points for using embarrassing pet names like "Snugglebug" or "Cuddlebuns" within earshot of his crush.
The "Talent Show Tease" Tactic:
Sign him up for an open mic night or talent show without his knowledge and prepare a hilariously terrible performance in his name, whether it's an off-key rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" or an interpretive dance to the Macarena. Sit back and watch as he squirms in embarrassment from the audience.
1 year ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
Must be because they were paid so well
At least he said have a great day!So why did they quit? Speculation is the name of the game on funnybanter so we thought up a few reasons:
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
