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12 months ago
War is bad
You heard it here first. The government might say high taxes spent for war is a good thing, here are the reasons some horrible person in power might come up with:
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
12 months ago
Wholesome flirting
What a cute relationship. Forever alone people don't continue reading, here's 5 reasons why kissing your girlfriend is cute:
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
9 months ago
9 months ago
12 months ago
Chris Chan Moment
Awkward and unwholesome...that ass though and I can say it we're not related. Complimenting your mothers ass is just awkward so have some reasons (ifyou even need any) not to do it:
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
9 months ago
12 months ago
Take Ketchup with you while exercising
The best sports drink out there! We even have proof backing up our statements:
"The Tomato Tango": Ketchup's tangy tomato goodness is like a salsa dance for your taste buds, energizing you with every sip. Just imagine the halftime show: athletes salsa-ing their way to victory with bottles of ketchup in hand.
"The Condiment Marathon": Forget about electrolyte drinks—athletes need a condiment marathon to refuel after a tough workout. With ketchup as the star player, runners can sprint to the finish line fueled by the power of tomatoes and vinegar.
"The Red Rocket Fuel": Ketchup's vibrant red color is like a rocket fuel for athletes, propelling them to new heights of performance. Plus, the added bonus of staining everything it touches ensures that your opponents will see you coming from a mile away.
"The MVP (Most Valuable Paste)": Move over, Gatorade—ketchup is the real MVP of the sports world. With its perfect blend of tomatoes, vinegar, and spices, it's the ultimate performance-enhancing condiment, guaranteed to take your game to the next level.
"The Slam Dunk Sauce": Athletes know that victory is all about the sauce, and ketchup is the ultimate slam dunk sauce. Whether you're dribbling on the court or dunking in the kitchen, a bottle of ketchup is sure to be your secret weapon for success.
"The Tomato Tango": Ketchup's tangy tomato goodness is like a salsa dance for your taste buds, energizing you with every sip. Just imagine the halftime show: athletes salsa-ing their way to victory with bottles of ketchup in hand.
"The Condiment Marathon": Forget about electrolyte drinks—athletes need a condiment marathon to refuel after a tough workout. With ketchup as the star player, runners can sprint to the finish line fueled by the power of tomatoes and vinegar.
"The Red Rocket Fuel": Ketchup's vibrant red color is like a rocket fuel for athletes, propelling them to new heights of performance. Plus, the added bonus of staining everything it touches ensures that your opponents will see you coming from a mile away.
"The MVP (Most Valuable Paste)": Move over, Gatorade—ketchup is the real MVP of the sports world. With its perfect blend of tomatoes, vinegar, and spices, it's the ultimate performance-enhancing condiment, guaranteed to take your game to the next level.
"The Slam Dunk Sauce": Athletes know that victory is all about the sauce, and ketchup is the ultimate slam dunk sauce. Whether you're dribbling on the court or dunking in the kitchen, a bottle of ketchup is sure to be your secret weapon for success.
