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2 years ago
Looking for a scrap
No just regular old scrap, but outside of a school scrap! Free metal is better then fighting and here's a few reasons why:
The Rusty Rumble: "Because while fights may leave you bruised and battered, scrap metal leaves you with tetanus—talk about a metal makeover!"
The Tin Tussle: "Because why throw punches when you can throw scrap metal? It's like dodgeball, but with more danger and less gym class trauma."
The Junkyard Joust: "Because in the battle of man versus metal, the real winner is whoever can lift the heaviest car door. It's like the Olympics, but with more oil stains."
The Aluminum Ambush: "Because nothing says 'I'm tough' like wielding a broken bicycle frame as a weapon. It's recycling with a side of retribution."
The Scrapyard Showdown: "Because while fights may end with bruised egos, scrap metal fights end with everyone questioning their life choices—plus, you get to keep the coolest piece of wreckage as a trophy."
The Rusty Rumble: "Because while fights may leave you bruised and battered, scrap metal leaves you with tetanus—talk about a metal makeover!"
The Tin Tussle: "Because why throw punches when you can throw scrap metal? It's like dodgeball, but with more danger and less gym class trauma."
The Junkyard Joust: "Because in the battle of man versus metal, the real winner is whoever can lift the heaviest car door. It's like the Olympics, but with more oil stains."
The Aluminum Ambush: "Because nothing says 'I'm tough' like wielding a broken bicycle frame as a weapon. It's recycling with a side of retribution."
The Scrapyard Showdown: "Because while fights may end with bruised egos, scrap metal fights end with everyone questioning their life choices—plus, you get to keep the coolest piece of wreckage as a trophy."
2 years ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
Must be because they were paid so well
At least he said have a great day!So why did they quit? Speculation is the name of the game on funnybanter so we thought up a few reasons:
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
2 years ago
Illiterate Bae!
Can't see red flags if you can't spell them. You should always love your illiterate girlfriend and here's a few reasons why:
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
2 years ago
Possibly Real Fox facts
I'm not a biologist so some of these might be true. Have some more Fox Facts we paid a disgraced biology professor on LSD to write for us :
"The Fox's Floral Fancies:" Foxes have a peculiar affinity for flowers, often seen frolicking in fields of daisies and tulips. Legend has it that they possess a secret language of flowers, using different blooms to convey messages to their woodland friends.
"The Fox's Fluffy Feathered Friends:" Foxes have a knack for befriending birds, forming unlikely alliances with feathered creatures of all shapes and sizes. It's said that they host bird tea parties in the forest, serving up treats and gossip with their avian companions.
"The Fox's Musical Mastery:" Foxes are natural musicians, often serenading the forest with their melodious tunes. Legend has it that they play enchanted instruments crafted from twigs and leaves, mesmerizing listeners with their haunting melodies under the light of the moon.
"The Fox's Fine Arts Expertise:" Foxes are connoisseurs of the arts, often spotted admiring paintings and sculptures in the forest. It's said that they host impromptu art exhibitions, showcasing their own masterpieces and critiquing the works of other woodland creatures with an expert eye.
"The Fox's Fiery Festivals:" Foxes are known for their love of fireworks, hosting spectacular firework displays in the forest to celebrate special occasions. Legend has it that they choreograph intricate pyrotechnic performances, lighting up the night sky with bursts of color and light.
"The Fox's Floral Fancies:" Foxes have a peculiar affinity for flowers, often seen frolicking in fields of daisies and tulips. Legend has it that they possess a secret language of flowers, using different blooms to convey messages to their woodland friends.
"The Fox's Fluffy Feathered Friends:" Foxes have a knack for befriending birds, forming unlikely alliances with feathered creatures of all shapes and sizes. It's said that they host bird tea parties in the forest, serving up treats and gossip with their avian companions.
"The Fox's Musical Mastery:" Foxes are natural musicians, often serenading the forest with their melodious tunes. Legend has it that they play enchanted instruments crafted from twigs and leaves, mesmerizing listeners with their haunting melodies under the light of the moon.
"The Fox's Fine Arts Expertise:" Foxes are connoisseurs of the arts, often spotted admiring paintings and sculptures in the forest. It's said that they host impromptu art exhibitions, showcasing their own masterpieces and critiquing the works of other woodland creatures with an expert eye.
"The Fox's Fiery Festivals:" Foxes are known for their love of fireworks, hosting spectacular firework displays in the forest to celebrate special occasions. Legend has it that they choreograph intricate pyrotechnic performances, lighting up the night sky with bursts of color and light.
