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1 year ago
Illiterate Bae!
Can't see red flags if you can't spell them. You should always love your illiterate girlfriend and here's a few reasons why:
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Attitude stays in
Wish it could go away but it stays. Why does it though? Shouldn't your body be able to purge toxic things from itself? We asked an alcoholic riding a donkey and he came up with these reasons why you can't vomit out a bad attitude:
"The Sour Stomach Syndrome:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your stomach to turn into a therapist's couch—it's just not equipped to handle emotional baggage. Instead of purging negativity, you're more likely to end up with heartburn and a whole new set of problems to worry about.
"The Bitter Belch Backfire:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to belch out your inner demons—it might provide temporary relief, but it's not a long-term solution. Instead of exorcising negativity, you're more likely to just make everyone within earshot uncomfortable and slightly nauseous.
"The Cranky Cough-Up Conundrum:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to cough up a hairball—it's messy, unpleasant, and probably not going to solve anything. Instead of expelling negativity, you're more likely to just end up with a sore throat and a lingering sense of bitterness.
"The Pessimistic Projectile Problem:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to projectile vomit your way to positivity—it's messy, ineffective, and likely to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. Instead of cleansing your soul, you're more likely to just traumatize everyone within a five-foot radius and ruin the carpet.
"The Grouchy Gag Reflex:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to reject negativity like a bad oyster—it's wishful thinking at best and downright foolish at worst. Instead of purging toxicity, you're more likely to just trigger your gag reflex and end up feeling even worse than before.
"The Sour Stomach Syndrome:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your stomach to turn into a therapist's couch—it's just not equipped to handle emotional baggage. Instead of purging negativity, you're more likely to end up with heartburn and a whole new set of problems to worry about.
"The Bitter Belch Backfire:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to belch out your inner demons—it might provide temporary relief, but it's not a long-term solution. Instead of exorcising negativity, you're more likely to just make everyone within earshot uncomfortable and slightly nauseous.
"The Cranky Cough-Up Conundrum:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to cough up a hairball—it's messy, unpleasant, and probably not going to solve anything. Instead of expelling negativity, you're more likely to just end up with a sore throat and a lingering sense of bitterness.
"The Pessimistic Projectile Problem:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to projectile vomit your way to positivity—it's messy, ineffective, and likely to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. Instead of cleansing your soul, you're more likely to just traumatize everyone within a five-foot radius and ruin the carpet.
"The Grouchy Gag Reflex:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to reject negativity like a bad oyster—it's wishful thinking at best and downright foolish at worst. Instead of purging toxicity, you're more likely to just trigger your gag reflex and end up feeling even worse than before.
1 year ago
The latest smoking lover fashion
There's a parallel universe where this is happening. But let's tackle the root of this meme! Why do stoners dress like that? Here's 5 reasons why we think they do:
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
