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10 months ago
OMG yes I'm one of the people who hate you!
Sometimes you don't get the answers you want. Though asking is hard and unpleasant ! What if we could tell without asking?
Here are five lighthearted and exaggerated signs someone might hate you on social media:
"The Emoji Enigma": Instead of a friendly :) or even a neutral :) , every comment they leave on your posts is accompanied by the dreaded :| emoji. It's like they have an entire arsenal of passive-aggressive emojis at their disposal, and they're not afraid to use them.
"The Unfollow Unveiling": You notice that they've unfollowed you on every social media platform, from Instagram to Twitter to LinkedIn. It's like they're trying to erase every digital trace of your existence, one click at a time.
"The Caption Conundrum": Whenever they tag you in a post or photo, the caption reads like a thinly veiled insult disguised as a compliment. "Here's me and my least favorite person in the world, having the worst time ever. #BlessedNotToBeWithThem"
"The Photo Filter Fiasco": Every time you post a selfie, they're quick to comment on how "interesting" your choice of filter is. It's like they're not even trying to hide their disdain for your duckface and puppy ears combo.
"The Hashtag Hint": They start using passive-aggressive hashtags in their own posts, like #FakeFriends, #ShadySquad, or #NotMyFave. It's like they're trying to send you a subtle message without actually having to confront you directly.
Here are five lighthearted and exaggerated signs someone might hate you on social media:
"The Emoji Enigma": Instead of a friendly :) or even a neutral :) , every comment they leave on your posts is accompanied by the dreaded :| emoji. It's like they have an entire arsenal of passive-aggressive emojis at their disposal, and they're not afraid to use them.
"The Unfollow Unveiling": You notice that they've unfollowed you on every social media platform, from Instagram to Twitter to LinkedIn. It's like they're trying to erase every digital trace of your existence, one click at a time.
"The Caption Conundrum": Whenever they tag you in a post or photo, the caption reads like a thinly veiled insult disguised as a compliment. "Here's me and my least favorite person in the world, having the worst time ever. #BlessedNotToBeWithThem"
"The Photo Filter Fiasco": Every time you post a selfie, they're quick to comment on how "interesting" your choice of filter is. It's like they're not even trying to hide their disdain for your duckface and puppy ears combo.
"The Hashtag Hint": They start using passive-aggressive hashtags in their own posts, like #FakeFriends, #ShadySquad, or #NotMyFave. It's like they're trying to send you a subtle message without actually having to confront you directly.
10 months ago
Got caught on onlyfans
Deposit amount 7.21$. Or 50,000$ if she's actually good at it. Though the problem persists she got caught. Here's some top tier excuses to give your parents when they find out you made an OnlyFans:
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
10 months ago
Fail Financial Advice
...don't listen to him they trained him wrong as a joke
If you actually want to end up in debt here are five pieces of hilariously terrible financial advice:
Invest All Your Savings in Beanie Babies: Beanie Babies are sure to make a comeback any day now, right? So why not invest your life savings in rare and collectible plush toys? Just imagine the returns when the Beanie Baby bubble inevitably bursts!
Max Out Your Credit Cards on Lottery Tickets: Who needs boring old savings accounts when you could strike it rich with the lottery? Max out your credit cards on lottery tickets and cross your fingers for that jackpot win. What could possibly go wrong?
Start Your Own Cryptocurrency: Move over Bitcoin, it's time to launch your own cryptocurrency! With just a few clicks and some flashy marketing, you'll be rolling in digital riches in no time. Just ignore the fact that 99% of cryptocurrencies are doomed to fail.
Take Out a Second Mortgage to Buy NFTs: Non-fungible tokens (NFTs) are all the rage these days, so why not mortgage your house to buy some digital artwork? After all, who needs shelter when you could own a virtual cat meme worth millions?
Day Trade Your Life Savings: Why wait years for your investments to grow when you could day trade your life savings for instant riches? Just follow the advice of that guy on Reddit who claims to have made millions in a week. What could possibly go wrong?
If you actually want to end up in debt here are five pieces of hilariously terrible financial advice:
Invest All Your Savings in Beanie Babies: Beanie Babies are sure to make a comeback any day now, right? So why not invest your life savings in rare and collectible plush toys? Just imagine the returns when the Beanie Baby bubble inevitably bursts!
Max Out Your Credit Cards on Lottery Tickets: Who needs boring old savings accounts when you could strike it rich with the lottery? Max out your credit cards on lottery tickets and cross your fingers for that jackpot win. What could possibly go wrong?
Start Your Own Cryptocurrency: Move over Bitcoin, it's time to launch your own cryptocurrency! With just a few clicks and some flashy marketing, you'll be rolling in digital riches in no time. Just ignore the fact that 99% of cryptocurrencies are doomed to fail.
Take Out a Second Mortgage to Buy NFTs: Non-fungible tokens (NFTs) are all the rage these days, so why not mortgage your house to buy some digital artwork? After all, who needs shelter when you could own a virtual cat meme worth millions?
Day Trade Your Life Savings: Why wait years for your investments to grow when you could day trade your life savings for instant riches? Just follow the advice of that guy on Reddit who claims to have made millions in a week. What could possibly go wrong?
10 months ago
AAA games being "great"
70$ never bought you as little. Marketing executives disagree for some reason so we asked one that requested to stay anonymous about the game prices. Between doing cocaine and Candy the stripper he said this:
"The Value Proposition Shuffle": "Our games are priced competitively to provide maximum value to our loyal customers. Sure, they may seem a bit pricey at first glance, but when you consider the hours of entertainment and immersive gameplay they provide, it's practically a steal. And hey, who needs to eat lunch every day when you can feast on the latest gaming experience?"
"The Investment Instigation Initiative": "We believe in offering our players the best possible gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While some may argue that our games are on the pricier side, we like to think of them as an investment in quality entertainment. After all, what's a few extra dollars when you're investing in hours of excitement and adventure?"
"The Cost-Conscious Conundrum": "At our company, we pride ourselves on offering affordable gaming options for players of all budgets. While it's true that our games may come with a higher price tag than some of our competitors, we believe that quality should never be compromised. Besides, who needs a fancy dinner out when you can dine on the immersive storytelling and cutting-edge graphics of our latest release?"
"The Budget-Friendly Facade": "We understand that gaming can be an expensive hobby, which is why we strive to keep our prices as low as possible. While some may argue that our games are a bit on the pricey side, we like to think of them as an investment in your entertainment future. After all, who needs a rainy day fund when you can spend your hard-earned cash on the thrill of virtual adventure?"
"The Subtle Spending Signal": "Our games are designed to provide the ultimate gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While it's true that our prices may seem a bit steep at first glance, we believe that the value they provide more than justifies the cost. And hey, who needs to worry about saving for retirement when you can spend your golden years reliving the excitement of our latest release?"
"The Value Proposition Shuffle": "Our games are priced competitively to provide maximum value to our loyal customers. Sure, they may seem a bit pricey at first glance, but when you consider the hours of entertainment and immersive gameplay they provide, it's practically a steal. And hey, who needs to eat lunch every day when you can feast on the latest gaming experience?"
"The Investment Instigation Initiative": "We believe in offering our players the best possible gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While some may argue that our games are on the pricier side, we like to think of them as an investment in quality entertainment. After all, what's a few extra dollars when you're investing in hours of excitement and adventure?"
"The Cost-Conscious Conundrum": "At our company, we pride ourselves on offering affordable gaming options for players of all budgets. While it's true that our games may come with a higher price tag than some of our competitors, we believe that quality should never be compromised. Besides, who needs a fancy dinner out when you can dine on the immersive storytelling and cutting-edge graphics of our latest release?"
"The Budget-Friendly Facade": "We understand that gaming can be an expensive hobby, which is why we strive to keep our prices as low as possible. While some may argue that our games are a bit on the pricey side, we like to think of them as an investment in your entertainment future. After all, who needs a rainy day fund when you can spend your hard-earned cash on the thrill of virtual adventure?"
"The Subtle Spending Signal": "Our games are designed to provide the ultimate gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While it's true that our prices may seem a bit steep at first glance, we believe that the value they provide more than justifies the cost. And hey, who needs to worry about saving for retirement when you can spend your golden years reliving the excitement of our latest release?"
7 months ago
10 months ago
Everyone knows math is subjective
According to my bank account i'm not a millionaire but i chose to not agree
Here are five humorous reasons why math couldn't care less about your opinion:
Zero Sympathy Policy: Math operates on a strict "zero sympathy" policy. Whether you're struggling with calculus or crying over fractions, math remains as indifferent as the number zero itself.
Algebraic Apathy: Math isn't interested in your excuses or complaints. It's like that friend who nods along but secretly couldn't care less about your drama – it's just solving equations, not listening to your life story.
Geometry's Got No Time for Drama: Geometry is too busy calculating angles and measuring shapes to worry about your opinion. It's like the architect of the universe, constructing reality one triangle at a time, oblivious to your existential musings.
Statistical Stoicism: Statistics doesn't care if you think the odds are unfair. It's like a poker-faced gambler, rolling the dice and calculating probabilities with icy precision, indifferent to your hopes and dreams.
Calculus Can't Even: Calculus is like the Zen master of math – serene, detached, and utterly unimpressed by your existential crises. It's too busy integrating and differentiating to entertain your opinions about the meaning of life.
Here are five humorous reasons why math couldn't care less about your opinion:
Zero Sympathy Policy: Math operates on a strict "zero sympathy" policy. Whether you're struggling with calculus or crying over fractions, math remains as indifferent as the number zero itself.
Algebraic Apathy: Math isn't interested in your excuses or complaints. It's like that friend who nods along but secretly couldn't care less about your drama – it's just solving equations, not listening to your life story.
Geometry's Got No Time for Drama: Geometry is too busy calculating angles and measuring shapes to worry about your opinion. It's like the architect of the universe, constructing reality one triangle at a time, oblivious to your existential musings.
Statistical Stoicism: Statistics doesn't care if you think the odds are unfair. It's like a poker-faced gambler, rolling the dice and calculating probabilities with icy precision, indifferent to your hopes and dreams.
Calculus Can't Even: Calculus is like the Zen master of math – serene, detached, and utterly unimpressed by your existential crises. It's too busy integrating and differentiating to entertain your opinions about the meaning of life.
10 months ago
Asking the real questions about ramen
Ramen and communism both make you think of hunger one is a solution the other a cause, here are some reasons ramen and communism go well together:
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
