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12 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
9 months ago
12 months ago
Inside you are two wolves
Both are having a good time at your expense. Here are some possibilities of what could happen which somehow turned out decently wholesome! I'm as shocked as you are:
"Wolf Pack Shenanigans": You wake up to find yourself surrounded by a pack of wolves wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, passing around a coconut filled with fruity drinks. Turns out, they decided to throw a beach party in the middle of the forest—and you're the guest of honor.
"Werewolf Karaoke Night": You regain consciousness in a dimly lit forest clearing, where two wolf furies are belting out a duet of "Howl at the Moon" while the rest of the pack provides backup vocals. Looks like you stumbled into the world's wildest karaoke night—and you're up next.
"The Wolf Pack Wedding": You come to just in time to witness a wolf priest officiating a wedding ceremony between the two wolf furies who roofied you. As you struggle to make sense of the situation, you realize you've inadvertently become the best man at a wolf wedding—complete with a cake made of raw meat.
"Wolf Therapy Session": You find yourself lying on a mossy bed surrounded by attentive wolves, who take turns offering you heartfelt advice and supportive howls. Turns out, the wolf furies roofied you as part of their unconventional therapy session—and you're the star patient.
"The Great Wolf Heist": You regain consciousness to find yourself wearing a black ski mask and clutching a bag full of stolen goods, with the two wolf furies by your side wearing matching bandit masks. Turns out, you've just pulled off the greatest heist in forest history—and the wolves are the masterminds behind it all.
"Wolf Pack Shenanigans": You wake up to find yourself surrounded by a pack of wolves wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, passing around a coconut filled with fruity drinks. Turns out, they decided to throw a beach party in the middle of the forest—and you're the guest of honor.
"Werewolf Karaoke Night": You regain consciousness in a dimly lit forest clearing, where two wolf furies are belting out a duet of "Howl at the Moon" while the rest of the pack provides backup vocals. Looks like you stumbled into the world's wildest karaoke night—and you're up next.
"The Wolf Pack Wedding": You come to just in time to witness a wolf priest officiating a wedding ceremony between the two wolf furies who roofied you. As you struggle to make sense of the situation, you realize you've inadvertently become the best man at a wolf wedding—complete with a cake made of raw meat.
"Wolf Therapy Session": You find yourself lying on a mossy bed surrounded by attentive wolves, who take turns offering you heartfelt advice and supportive howls. Turns out, the wolf furies roofied you as part of their unconventional therapy session—and you're the star patient.
"The Great Wolf Heist": You regain consciousness to find yourself wearing a black ski mask and clutching a bag full of stolen goods, with the two wolf furies by your side wearing matching bandit masks. Turns out, you've just pulled off the greatest heist in forest history—and the wolves are the masterminds behind it all.
12 months ago
When does it open
Might be closed for him for a while from now on. Normal business hours are between 1 pm and 1 am. That is ample time for sexy time. here is a list of why these legs stay closed before 1PM :
"The Morning Sleep Spell": Her legs remain closed until 1 pm due to the powerful enchantment of the morning sleep spell. No amount of coffee or alarm clocks can break its hold—only the magical hour of 1 pm can lift the curse and set her legs free.
"The Noontime Negotiation": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're busy negotiating a better deal with gravity. Apparently, they've struck a bargain to stay firmly shut until the clock strikes 1, at which point they'll graciously return to their usual upright position.
"The Brunch Buffet Break": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're waiting for the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet to open. Apparently, they've heard rumors of bottomless mimosas and unlimited bacon, and they refuse to budge until they've had their fill.
"The Midday Siesta Syndrome": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're observing the sacred ritual of the midday siesta. Apparently, they've decided to take a page out of the Spanish playbook and indulge in a leisurely nap until the sun reaches its zenith.
"The Pre-Lunch Limbo": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're stuck in a state of pre-lunch limbo. Apparently, they've decided to hold out until the lunch bell rings, at which point they'll eagerly spring into action in search of sustenance.
"The Morning Sleep Spell": Her legs remain closed until 1 pm due to the powerful enchantment of the morning sleep spell. No amount of coffee or alarm clocks can break its hold—only the magical hour of 1 pm can lift the curse and set her legs free.
"The Noontime Negotiation": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're busy negotiating a better deal with gravity. Apparently, they've struck a bargain to stay firmly shut until the clock strikes 1, at which point they'll graciously return to their usual upright position.
"The Brunch Buffet Break": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're waiting for the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet to open. Apparently, they've heard rumors of bottomless mimosas and unlimited bacon, and they refuse to budge until they've had their fill.
"The Midday Siesta Syndrome": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're observing the sacred ritual of the midday siesta. Apparently, they've decided to take a page out of the Spanish playbook and indulge in a leisurely nap until the sun reaches its zenith.
"The Pre-Lunch Limbo": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're stuck in a state of pre-lunch limbo. Apparently, they've decided to hold out until the lunch bell rings, at which point they'll eagerly spring into action in search of sustenance.
12 months ago
He looks serious
This guy took out some trees in his day, and after all why not? There is a well known Cat - Christmas tree war going on.
Here are just some of the reasons for this vicious conflict
"Cat vs. Tree Showdown":
"Christmas trees challenge a cat's throne as ruler of the living room, sparking a fur-flying battle for dominance."
"Tree Conspiracy Theory":
"Cats see Christmas trees as a human ploy to distract from their feline supremacy, igniting a purr-sonal vendetta against the towering intruders."
"Fur-tive Saboteurs":
"Cats launch stealthy missions to sabotage Christmas trees, offended by their audacious attempt to steal the spotlight."
"Ornament Envy":
"Cats resent Christmas trees flaunting flashy baubles, preferring the natural sparkle of their own fur coats."
"Tree-sonous Terrain":
"To cats, Christmas trees are towering threats poised to crush their delicate egos, igniting a feline frenzy of indignation."
Here are just some of the reasons for this vicious conflict
"Cat vs. Tree Showdown":
"Christmas trees challenge a cat's throne as ruler of the living room, sparking a fur-flying battle for dominance."
"Tree Conspiracy Theory":
"Cats see Christmas trees as a human ploy to distract from their feline supremacy, igniting a purr-sonal vendetta against the towering intruders."
"Fur-tive Saboteurs":
"Cats launch stealthy missions to sabotage Christmas trees, offended by their audacious attempt to steal the spotlight."
"Ornament Envy":
"Cats resent Christmas trees flaunting flashy baubles, preferring the natural sparkle of their own fur coats."
"Tree-sonous Terrain":
"To cats, Christmas trees are towering threats poised to crush their delicate egos, igniting a feline frenzy of indignation."
12 months ago
A Surprise Wedding For Who?
But a welcome one. Not recommended but you could pick one of these strategies if you're really dead set on emulating this woman!
Skywriting Surprise: Hire a skywriter to spell out "Will you marry me?" above your house on the morning of the wedding. When your groom steps outside to see what all the fuss is about, you'll be waiting in your wedding dress with a bouquet in hand.
Undercover Invitation: Have a friend pose as a delivery person and hand-deliver a mysterious package to your groom's door. Inside, he'll find a message that reads, "Your presence is requested at a top-secret event," along with a pair of cufflinks or socks embroidered with wedding bells.
Scavenger Hunt Hijinks: Send your groom on a wild goose chase around town, with each clue leading him closer to the big reveal. The final clue could lead him to a park where you're waiting under a beautifully decorated arch, ready to say "I do."
Puzzle Piece Proposal: Create a custom jigsaw puzzle featuring a photo of the two of you and the words "Will you marry me?" Once he puts the puzzle together, he'll realize that the last piece is missing—and you'll be there to hand it to him, along with an invitation to your wedding.
Flash Mob Fiasco: Organize a surprise flash mob in a public place where you and your groom frequently hang out. As he watches in disbelief, the dancers will spell out "Will you marry me?" in choreographed movements, and you'll emerge from the crowd to pop the question—and extend an invitation to your wedding, of course!
Skywriting Surprise: Hire a skywriter to spell out "Will you marry me?" above your house on the morning of the wedding. When your groom steps outside to see what all the fuss is about, you'll be waiting in your wedding dress with a bouquet in hand.
Undercover Invitation: Have a friend pose as a delivery person and hand-deliver a mysterious package to your groom's door. Inside, he'll find a message that reads, "Your presence is requested at a top-secret event," along with a pair of cufflinks or socks embroidered with wedding bells.
Scavenger Hunt Hijinks: Send your groom on a wild goose chase around town, with each clue leading him closer to the big reveal. The final clue could lead him to a park where you're waiting under a beautifully decorated arch, ready to say "I do."
Puzzle Piece Proposal: Create a custom jigsaw puzzle featuring a photo of the two of you and the words "Will you marry me?" Once he puts the puzzle together, he'll realize that the last piece is missing—and you'll be there to hand it to him, along with an invitation to your wedding.
Flash Mob Fiasco: Organize a surprise flash mob in a public place where you and your groom frequently hang out. As he watches in disbelief, the dancers will spell out "Will you marry me?" in choreographed movements, and you'll emerge from the crowd to pop the question—and extend an invitation to your wedding, of course!
12 months ago
Rude but not wrong
Don't fall for NFT's but if you have a positive experience feel free to comment.
Here are some reasons the rude guy is right:
"Because nothing says 'investment opportunity' quite like a pixelated picture of a bored ape or a rainbow-shooting cat. Who needs the Mona Lisa when you can have a JPEG of a dancing pickle, right?"
"It's like a virtual version of trading cards, but instead of collecting valuable athletes or historical figures, you're collecting... well, digital cats with a side of existential dread. Not exactly the stuff of dreams."
"Forget the traditional pyramid scheme, NFTs are the new frontier of 'Hey, wanna buy this thing that only exists in the digital ether and may or may not tank in value faster than a lead balloon?'"
"NFTs: Because who needs financial stability when you can spend your life savings on a picture of a monkey wearing sunglasses? It's not just a purchase, it's a lifestyle statement!"
"Why settle for a boring ol' savings account when you can gamble your hard-earned cash on the chance that someone, somewhere, might want to buy your digital rendition of a stick figure with a bad haircut? It's like Vegas, but with more blockchain!"
Here are some reasons the rude guy is right:
"Because nothing says 'investment opportunity' quite like a pixelated picture of a bored ape or a rainbow-shooting cat. Who needs the Mona Lisa when you can have a JPEG of a dancing pickle, right?"
"It's like a virtual version of trading cards, but instead of collecting valuable athletes or historical figures, you're collecting... well, digital cats with a side of existential dread. Not exactly the stuff of dreams."
"Forget the traditional pyramid scheme, NFTs are the new frontier of 'Hey, wanna buy this thing that only exists in the digital ether and may or may not tank in value faster than a lead balloon?'"
"NFTs: Because who needs financial stability when you can spend your life savings on a picture of a monkey wearing sunglasses? It's not just a purchase, it's a lifestyle statement!"
"Why settle for a boring ol' savings account when you can gamble your hard-earned cash on the chance that someone, somewhere, might want to buy your digital rendition of a stick figure with a bad haircut? It's like Vegas, but with more blockchain!"
