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8 months ago
Better then early for anal
That shows a sort of eagerness people just aren't ready for.
Being punctual for butt stuff is a cornerstone of civilized society I always say (I keep getting told I should say something else) so I decided to share a few tenants of anal punctuality with you :
"The Punctual Pucker Principle": Being late for anal is like missing the last train out of Sphincterville—you're stuck waiting at the station while everyone else is already on their way to Pleasure Town. Who knew punctuality was the key to unlocking the backdoor to bliss?
"The Tardy Tushie Troubles": Showing up late for anal is like arriving at a party after the cake's been cut—you're left with nothing but crumbs and regret. Who needs a slice of cake when you could have had a slice of... well, you get the idea.
"The Chronically Clenched Cheeks Conundrum": Being late for anal is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it's uncomfortable, awkward, and bound to end in disappointment. Who knew that being fashionably late could lead to a fashionably sore bum?
"The Missed Moment of Mastertail": Showing up late for anal is like missing the grand finale of a fireworks show—you're left watching from the sidelines while everyone else is oohing and aahing at the spectacular display. Who needs fireworks when you could have had a bootyful explosion of pleasure?
"The Delayed Derriere Dilemma": Being late for anal is like arriving at the airport after your flight has already taken off—you're left stranded at the gate with nothing but a boarding pass to nowhere. Who needs a vacation when you could have had a trip to the moon and back?
Being punctual for butt stuff is a cornerstone of civilized society I always say (I keep getting told I should say something else) so I decided to share a few tenants of anal punctuality with you :
"The Punctual Pucker Principle": Being late for anal is like missing the last train out of Sphincterville—you're stuck waiting at the station while everyone else is already on their way to Pleasure Town. Who knew punctuality was the key to unlocking the backdoor to bliss?
"The Tardy Tushie Troubles": Showing up late for anal is like arriving at a party after the cake's been cut—you're left with nothing but crumbs and regret. Who needs a slice of cake when you could have had a slice of... well, you get the idea.
"The Chronically Clenched Cheeks Conundrum": Being late for anal is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it's uncomfortable, awkward, and bound to end in disappointment. Who knew that being fashionably late could lead to a fashionably sore bum?
"The Missed Moment of Mastertail": Showing up late for anal is like missing the grand finale of a fireworks show—you're left watching from the sidelines while everyone else is oohing and aahing at the spectacular display. Who needs fireworks when you could have had a bootyful explosion of pleasure?
"The Delayed Derriere Dilemma": Being late for anal is like arriving at the airport after your flight has already taken off—you're left stranded at the gate with nothing but a boarding pass to nowhere. Who needs a vacation when you could have had a trip to the moon and back?
5 months ago
8 months ago
Is it though?
They must have sure liked cucumbers that you can't eat...that's it right?
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real
The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"
The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"
The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"
The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"
The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"
People in antiquity never masturbated guys just trust our 5 reasons they are SO real
The "Statue Stigma" Story:
"They feared accidentally turning into statues themselves – nobody wants to spend eternity frozen in an awkward pose!"
The "Olive Oil Overdose" Myth:
"They believed excessive self-love would deplete the olive oil supply, leading to an ancient Greek salad crisis of epic proportions!"
The "Scroll Scandal" Saga:
"They worried about chafing from all that parchment rubbing – imagine explaining ink stains in awkward places to your scribe!"
The "Vengeful Venus" Vendetta:
"They feared angering the gods, particularly Venus, who might retaliate by sabotaging their love life for eternity. Talk about divine retribution!"
The "Chariot Chastity" Chronicle:
"They believed that spilling their seed would diminish their strength, jeopardizing their chances of winning the next chariot race. Priorities, right?"
5 months ago
5 months ago
5 months ago
