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10 months ago
A+ for effort
But why not own two copies of your favorite book? Have you people never heard of redundancy? Here are some reasons why you should have a whole bookshelf of your favorite book!
"The Literary Multiplicity Maneuver": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book ensures that you'll always have a spare handy in case of emergencies—like spontaneous book club meetings or surprise literary-themed parties. Who needs a first aid kit when you can have a first edition kit?
"The Bibliophile Back-Up Plan": With multiple copies of your favorite book, you'll never have to suffer the heartbreak of lending it to a friend and never getting it back. Who needs trust when you can have a personal library that rivals the Library of Congress?
"The Page-Turning Polygamy Principle": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book allows you to explore new dimensions of its literary greatness—like reading it in different fonts, sizes, and languages. Who needs a passport when you can travel the world through the pages of your favorite novel?
"The Literary Loyalty Lottery": With multiple copies of your favorite book, you can play a high-stakes game of literary roulette and give away copies to unsuspecting strangers like a modern-day book fairy. Who needs random acts of kindness when you can spread literary joy?
"The Bookish Investment Instinct": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book is like diversifying your literary portfolio—you never know which edition will skyrocket in value and make you a millionaire overnight. Who needs stocks and bonds when you can invest in first editions and leather-bound classics?
"The Literary Multiplicity Maneuver": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book ensures that you'll always have a spare handy in case of emergencies—like spontaneous book club meetings or surprise literary-themed parties. Who needs a first aid kit when you can have a first edition kit?
"The Bibliophile Back-Up Plan": With multiple copies of your favorite book, you'll never have to suffer the heartbreak of lending it to a friend and never getting it back. Who needs trust when you can have a personal library that rivals the Library of Congress?
"The Page-Turning Polygamy Principle": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book allows you to explore new dimensions of its literary greatness—like reading it in different fonts, sizes, and languages. Who needs a passport when you can travel the world through the pages of your favorite novel?
"The Literary Loyalty Lottery": With multiple copies of your favorite book, you can play a high-stakes game of literary roulette and give away copies to unsuspecting strangers like a modern-day book fairy. Who needs random acts of kindness when you can spread literary joy?
"The Bookish Investment Instinct": Owning multiple copies of your favorite book is like diversifying your literary portfolio—you never know which edition will skyrocket in value and make you a millionaire overnight. Who needs stocks and bonds when you can invest in first editions and leather-bound classics?
7 months ago
10 months ago
A strategic misstep
She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related.
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
