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9 months ago
The jokes write themselves
I really hoped they would since i'm out of ideas. After getting yelled at by my boss for making this description too short I seem to have developed an abundance of ideas and here they are:
"The Carnivorous Catastrophe": Eating meat turns you into a walking carnivore, complete with growling stomachs and a sudden aversion to vegetables. Who needs a balanced diet when you can embrace your inner T-rex and terrorize the salad bar?
"The Beefy Brain Drain": Consuming meat will make you forgetful and scatterbrained, causing you to misplace your keys and forget your own name. Who needs memory foam mattresses when you can have memory foam hamburgers?
"The Porky Pig Paradox": Eating bacon will turn you into an actual pig, complete with a curly tail and an insatiable love of mud baths. Who needs a beach body when you can have a bacon body?
"The Chicken Nugget Nightmare": Consuming chicken nuggets will turn you into a human chicken nugget, complete with a crispy coating and a golden brown complexion. Who needs sunscreen when you can have barbecue sauce?
"The Steakhouse Syndrome": Eating steak will turn you into a walking steakhouse, complete with sizzling grills and a herd of hungry customers lining up for a bite. Who needs a fancy restaurant when you can have a portable grill on wheels?
"The Carnivorous Catastrophe": Eating meat turns you into a walking carnivore, complete with growling stomachs and a sudden aversion to vegetables. Who needs a balanced diet when you can embrace your inner T-rex and terrorize the salad bar?
"The Beefy Brain Drain": Consuming meat will make you forgetful and scatterbrained, causing you to misplace your keys and forget your own name. Who needs memory foam mattresses when you can have memory foam hamburgers?
"The Porky Pig Paradox": Eating bacon will turn you into an actual pig, complete with a curly tail and an insatiable love of mud baths. Who needs a beach body when you can have a bacon body?
"The Chicken Nugget Nightmare": Consuming chicken nuggets will turn you into a human chicken nugget, complete with a crispy coating and a golden brown complexion. Who needs sunscreen when you can have barbecue sauce?
"The Steakhouse Syndrome": Eating steak will turn you into a walking steakhouse, complete with sizzling grills and a herd of hungry customers lining up for a bite. Who needs a fancy restaurant when you can have a portable grill on wheels?
7 months ago
9 months ago
Imagine a guy saying that
So taking advantage of a drunk person is alright morally? News to me so I adjusted my entire worldview to encompass this new information. here are some fun ways you can take advantage of drunk people near you:
"The Inebriated Investment": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like finding money on the sidewalk—it's not stealing if they don't remember where they left it! Besides, they'll thank you later for the unforgettable experience you helped them have.
"The Boozy Bargain": When someone's had a few too many, it's like they're offering you a discount on their dignity. It's not exploitation; it's just savvy shopping! After all, who can resist a good deal?
"The Tipsy Tease": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like playing a game of "finders keepers" with their inhibitions. It's not manipulation; it's just a little harmless fun! Besides, they'll have a great story to tell once they sober up.
"The Soused Social Contract": When someone's had one too many, they've basically signed a contract agreeing to whatever happens next. It's not coercion; it's just following the terms and conditions of drunken camaraderie! And hey, they'll probably laugh about it in the morning.
"The Drunken Donation": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like accepting a generous gift from the universe. It's not exploitation; it's just redistributing the wealth of their poor decision-making! Plus, they'll never remember it anyway, so what's the harm?
"The Inebriated Investment": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like finding money on the sidewalk—it's not stealing if they don't remember where they left it! Besides, they'll thank you later for the unforgettable experience you helped them have.
"The Boozy Bargain": When someone's had a few too many, it's like they're offering you a discount on their dignity. It's not exploitation; it's just savvy shopping! After all, who can resist a good deal?
"The Tipsy Tease": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like playing a game of "finders keepers" with their inhibitions. It's not manipulation; it's just a little harmless fun! Besides, they'll have a great story to tell once they sober up.
"The Soused Social Contract": When someone's had one too many, they've basically signed a contract agreeing to whatever happens next. It's not coercion; it's just following the terms and conditions of drunken camaraderie! And hey, they'll probably laugh about it in the morning.
"The Drunken Donation": Taking advantage of a drunk person is like accepting a generous gift from the universe. It's not exploitation; it's just redistributing the wealth of their poor decision-making! Plus, they'll never remember it anyway, so what's the harm?
9 months ago
Talk with me when he can levitate small objects
These children are just so lazy when it comes to learning levitation. Call me old fashioned but in my day kids weren't allowed to go out and play video games before they completed psychic studies.
here are just a few reasons why kids these days ignore training their innate psychic powers
"Remote Control Ruins the Fun":
"Why bother mastering the power of telekinesis when you can just grab the TV remote with your hand? Kids these days prefer the instant gratification of a button press over the mental gymnastics of moving objects with their minds."
"Wi-Fi Woes and Mental Blocks":
"In a world of Wi-Fi and instant downloads, children struggle to focus long enough to tune into their psychic abilities. Telekinesis requires too much mental bandwidth – they'd rather spend it on streaming cat videos."
"Hoverboards Beat Hovering Objects":
"Why bother levitating objects with your mind when you can ride a hoverboard? Kids these days prefer the effortless coolness of gliding on wheels over the mental strain of making things float. Plus, hoverboards come in way cooler colors!"
"Too Much Screen Time, Not Enough Mind Time":
"Children are too busy scrolling through social media feeds to bother honing their psychic powers. Telekinesis requires concentration and mental discipline – qualities in short supply when your attention span is measured in Snapchat streaks."
"Instant Noodles, Not Instant Telekinesis":
"In a world of instant noodles and microwave dinners, kids have forgotten the value of patience and practice. Telekinesis is a slow burn – it requires dedication and perseverance, qualities that are sorely lacking in a generation raised on instant gratification."
here are just a few reasons why kids these days ignore training their innate psychic powers
"Remote Control Ruins the Fun":
"Why bother mastering the power of telekinesis when you can just grab the TV remote with your hand? Kids these days prefer the instant gratification of a button press over the mental gymnastics of moving objects with their minds."
"Wi-Fi Woes and Mental Blocks":
"In a world of Wi-Fi and instant downloads, children struggle to focus long enough to tune into their psychic abilities. Telekinesis requires too much mental bandwidth – they'd rather spend it on streaming cat videos."
"Hoverboards Beat Hovering Objects":
"Why bother levitating objects with your mind when you can ride a hoverboard? Kids these days prefer the effortless coolness of gliding on wheels over the mental strain of making things float. Plus, hoverboards come in way cooler colors!"
"Too Much Screen Time, Not Enough Mind Time":
"Children are too busy scrolling through social media feeds to bother honing their psychic powers. Telekinesis requires concentration and mental discipline – qualities in short supply when your attention span is measured in Snapchat streaks."
"Instant Noodles, Not Instant Telekinesis":
"In a world of instant noodles and microwave dinners, kids have forgotten the value of patience and practice. Telekinesis is a slow burn – it requires dedication and perseverance, qualities that are sorely lacking in a generation raised on instant gratification."
9 months ago
Someones going to be taken out of a will
Never invited to Christmas or Thanksgiving either. But does this persons desire for Gamer Pussy warrant them getting disowned? We think NO and here's a few reasons why:
"The Grandma's Got Game Gaffe": "Because who knew Grandma was such a pro at Cards Against Humanity? Needing 'games pussy' is just another way of saying you're the reigning champion of family game night, and Grandma's not about to disown her star player."
"The Bingo Blunder": "Because when Grandpa mishears 'games pussy' as 'bingo pussy,' things take a hilariously awkward turn at the retirement home. But hey, at least you've got your priorities straight—whether it's scoring a bingo or finding a date for Saturday night."
"The Scrabble Scandal": "Because needing 'games pussy' is just a harmless slip of the tongue during a heated game of Scrabble. Sure, it may raise a few eyebrows, but Grandma's more concerned about whether 'pussy' is a legitimate word worth triple points."
"The Monopoly Misunderstanding": "Because when you're busy wheeling and dealing in Monopoly, sometimes your words get jumbled in the chaos. Needing 'games pussy' might sound scandalous, but Grandpa's too busy trying to mortgage Boardwalk to notice."
"The Uno Uproar": "Because when you shout 'I need games, pussy!' during a game of Uno, it's bound to cause a few laughs and maybe even a blush or two. But hey, it's all in good fun—just don't let Grandma catch you playing strip Uno afterwards."
"The Grandma's Got Game Gaffe": "Because who knew Grandma was such a pro at Cards Against Humanity? Needing 'games pussy' is just another way of saying you're the reigning champion of family game night, and Grandma's not about to disown her star player."
"The Bingo Blunder": "Because when Grandpa mishears 'games pussy' as 'bingo pussy,' things take a hilariously awkward turn at the retirement home. But hey, at least you've got your priorities straight—whether it's scoring a bingo or finding a date for Saturday night."
"The Scrabble Scandal": "Because needing 'games pussy' is just a harmless slip of the tongue during a heated game of Scrabble. Sure, it may raise a few eyebrows, but Grandma's more concerned about whether 'pussy' is a legitimate word worth triple points."
"The Monopoly Misunderstanding": "Because when you're busy wheeling and dealing in Monopoly, sometimes your words get jumbled in the chaos. Needing 'games pussy' might sound scandalous, but Grandpa's too busy trying to mortgage Boardwalk to notice."
"The Uno Uproar": "Because when you shout 'I need games, pussy!' during a game of Uno, it's bound to cause a few laughs and maybe even a blush or two. But hey, it's all in good fun—just don't let Grandma catch you playing strip Uno afterwards."
9 months ago
Understandable with that name
His rage is fully understandable
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
We might of made up some funny names and ridiculous crimes or picked them out from an obscure newspaper somewhere in Baltimore you'll never know
Snugglebuns McFluffernutter: Arrested for organizing a flash mob of synchronized knitting enthusiasts in the middle of a busy intersection, causing chaos and confusion among commuters.
Fizzlepop von Wigglesworth: Caught red-handed attempting to steal the world's largest rubber duck from a local charity event, only to get stuck inside it and require assistance from the fire department.
Puddingface McSqueezycheeks: Accused of masterminding a plot to swap all the shampoo bottles in a supermarket with bottles filled with pudding, resulting in mass confusion and some unexpectedly tasty showers.
Bubblesnort Tootleberry: Charged with illegally hosting a bubble bath marathon in a public fountain, complete with rubber duck races and synchronized snorkeling routines, causing a slippery mess and a lot of laughter.
Snickerdoodle McFlopbottom: Found guilty of organizing a rogue fleet of Segway-riding squirrels to stage a daring heist on a local bakery, stealing all the snickerdoodle cookies and leaving behind a trail of crumbs and chaos.
9 months ago
HA doesn't help
BS doesn't either.
Ads are a part of the fun! That's why we have to compensate with a lot of memes for members (since you see none if you log in).
Here are some reasons a company might tell you disabling ads on the tv you bought own and paid for is never good:
"Because who needs uninterrupted viewing when you can play 'ad bingo' and guess which product will pop up next? It's like a surprise party for your remote control!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your living room into a free-market battleground? It's like Black Friday every day, but without the bruises!"
"Forget peace and quiet! Embrace the chaos of commercial breaks! It's like a mini-vacation to 'Adland,' where the grass is always greener and the jingles never end!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your TV into a pop culture time machine? It's like traveling back to the '80s, but with more product placement!"
"Who needs sanity when you can have a constant barrage of advertising? It's like having a personal salesperson in your living room, 24/7! Because nothing says 'relaxation' like being told what to buy every five minutes!"
Ads are a part of the fun! That's why we have to compensate with a lot of memes for members (since you see none if you log in).
Here are some reasons a company might tell you disabling ads on the tv you bought own and paid for is never good:
"Because who needs uninterrupted viewing when you can play 'ad bingo' and guess which product will pop up next? It's like a surprise party for your remote control!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your living room into a free-market battleground? It's like Black Friday every day, but without the bruises!"
"Forget peace and quiet! Embrace the chaos of commercial breaks! It's like a mini-vacation to 'Adland,' where the grass is always greener and the jingles never end!"
"Why disable ads when you can turn your TV into a pop culture time machine? It's like traveling back to the '80s, but with more product placement!"
"Who needs sanity when you can have a constant barrage of advertising? It's like having a personal salesperson in your living room, 24/7! Because nothing says 'relaxation' like being told what to buy every five minutes!"
