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12 months ago
The Seaguls don't work for us
Even if they did I'd assume you wouldn't legally have to pay them. But what if they DID work for you? Taxes pension and full seagull employee benefits?
Here's what we would do if we ran a fry stand and our seagull employees stole customers food:
The Seagull Stockade: Construct a tiny bird-sized stockade on the beach and publicly shame the offending seagulls by locking them up for all to see. Bonus points for adding tiny "Wanted" posters with their mugshots plastered all over town.
The Seagull Sensitivity Training: Enroll the mischievous seagulls in a mandatory sensitivity training program to teach them the importance of respecting personal property and boundaries. It's time they learned that stealing fries is not a victimless crime!
The Seagull Hair Salon: Transform the pesky seagulls into fashion icons by giving them outrageous makeovers at the local bird salon. Picture seagulls strutting down the boardwalk with brightly colored feathers and stylish accessories, too fabulous to bother with stealing fries.
The Seagull Scarecrow Squad: Recruit a team of scarecrows dressed in beach attire to patrol the coastline and keep the seagulls in check. With their menacing stares and exaggerated flapping arms, they'll strike fear into the hearts of any seagull contemplating a fry heist.
The Seagull Street Performers: Turn the tables on the seagulls by putting them to work as street performers, entertaining beachgoers with their impressive acrobatic skills and synchronized flying routines. Who needs a seagull stealing your fries when you can watch them perform daring aerial stunts instead?
Here's what we would do if we ran a fry stand and our seagull employees stole customers food:
The Seagull Stockade: Construct a tiny bird-sized stockade on the beach and publicly shame the offending seagulls by locking them up for all to see. Bonus points for adding tiny "Wanted" posters with their mugshots plastered all over town.
The Seagull Sensitivity Training: Enroll the mischievous seagulls in a mandatory sensitivity training program to teach them the importance of respecting personal property and boundaries. It's time they learned that stealing fries is not a victimless crime!
The Seagull Hair Salon: Transform the pesky seagulls into fashion icons by giving them outrageous makeovers at the local bird salon. Picture seagulls strutting down the boardwalk with brightly colored feathers and stylish accessories, too fabulous to bother with stealing fries.
The Seagull Scarecrow Squad: Recruit a team of scarecrows dressed in beach attire to patrol the coastline and keep the seagulls in check. With their menacing stares and exaggerated flapping arms, they'll strike fear into the hearts of any seagull contemplating a fry heist.
The Seagull Street Performers: Turn the tables on the seagulls by putting them to work as street performers, entertaining beachgoers with their impressive acrobatic skills and synchronized flying routines. Who needs a seagull stealing your fries when you can watch them perform daring aerial stunts instead?
9 months ago
9 months ago
12 months ago
Bought these 8 minutes ago
2 more days and they'll evolve into something really weird , here we prepared some examples while huffing glue in the company garage
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
12 months ago
Sound financial decision
Nothing more romantic then saving 900$ per month in my opinion. Here are some reasons I made up that fully support my view:
"The Penny Pinching Passion": Nothing says "I love you" like socking away $900 a month for your future together. It's like whispering sweet nothings into your partner's ear, except those sweet nothings are compounded interest rates and a secure retirement plan.
"The Budgeting Bond": Planning for your future as a couple is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Watching your savings account grow by $900 each month is like watching your love blossom into a beautiful financial partnership—complete with joint tax returns and matching retirement funds.
"The Frugal Fairy Tale": Saving $900 a month is like writing your own modern-day fairy tale, where Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet and into the realm of financial stability. Who needs glass slippers when you've got a healthy emergency fund and a diversified investment portfolio?
"The Romantic Rainy Day Fund": Nothing sets the mood like knowing you're prepared for any financial curveball life throws your way. With $900 a month stashed away, you can weather any storm together—from unexpected car repairs to impromptu weekend getaways.
"The Thrifty Thrill": Forget candlelit dinners and sunset strolls—saving $900 a month is the ultimate romantic gesture. It shows your partner that you're in it for the long haul, committed to building a future together filled with love, laughter, and a healthy savings account. Who needs grand gestures when you've got compound interest?
"The Penny Pinching Passion": Nothing says "I love you" like socking away $900 a month for your future together. It's like whispering sweet nothings into your partner's ear, except those sweet nothings are compounded interest rates and a secure retirement plan.
"The Budgeting Bond": Planning for your future as a couple is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Watching your savings account grow by $900 each month is like watching your love blossom into a beautiful financial partnership—complete with joint tax returns and matching retirement funds.
"The Frugal Fairy Tale": Saving $900 a month is like writing your own modern-day fairy tale, where Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet and into the realm of financial stability. Who needs glass slippers when you've got a healthy emergency fund and a diversified investment portfolio?
"The Romantic Rainy Day Fund": Nothing sets the mood like knowing you're prepared for any financial curveball life throws your way. With $900 a month stashed away, you can weather any storm together—from unexpected car repairs to impromptu weekend getaways.
"The Thrifty Thrill": Forget candlelit dinners and sunset strolls—saving $900 a month is the ultimate romantic gesture. It shows your partner that you're in it for the long haul, committed to building a future together filled with love, laughter, and a healthy savings account. Who needs grand gestures when you've got compound interest?
12 months ago
Nice legs are they for sale?
Good thing he didn't pull out a chainsaw. Buying someone's legs is a quirky and absurd idea, so here are some humorous takes on how you might go about it:
The Leg Auction: Host a bizarre auction where you bid on individual body parts, with legs being the star attraction. Just make sure to clarify that you're only interested in the legs, not the rest of the package. Bonus points for throwing in a pair of prosthetic legs as a sweetener.
The Leg Swap Meet: Organize a peculiar event where people can trade body parts like Pokémon cards. You show up with a bag full of cash and a sign that says "Legs Wanted: Will Pay Handsomely." Who knows, maybe someone will take you up on the offer in exchange for a lifetime supply of socks.
The Leg Exchange Program: Start a quirky business where people can trade in their old legs for shiny new ones. You set up shop on a busy street corner with a sign that reads "Cash for Legs: Upgrade Yours Today!" It's like a used car dealership, but with fewer miles.
The Leg Lottery: Launch a whimsical lottery where the grand prize is a pair of legs belonging to a random stranger. You sell tickets with the slogan "Win Legs for Life!" and watch as people eagerly line up for their chance to walk away with a new set of gams.
The Leg Barter System: Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start a unique bartering system where legs are the currency of choice. You trade your vintage record collection for someone's legs, and they walk away with a new vinyl player. It's a win-win... unless you're left hopping mad.
The Leg Auction: Host a bizarre auction where you bid on individual body parts, with legs being the star attraction. Just make sure to clarify that you're only interested in the legs, not the rest of the package. Bonus points for throwing in a pair of prosthetic legs as a sweetener.
The Leg Swap Meet: Organize a peculiar event where people can trade body parts like Pokémon cards. You show up with a bag full of cash and a sign that says "Legs Wanted: Will Pay Handsomely." Who knows, maybe someone will take you up on the offer in exchange for a lifetime supply of socks.
The Leg Exchange Program: Start a quirky business where people can trade in their old legs for shiny new ones. You set up shop on a busy street corner with a sign that reads "Cash for Legs: Upgrade Yours Today!" It's like a used car dealership, but with fewer miles.
The Leg Lottery: Launch a whimsical lottery where the grand prize is a pair of legs belonging to a random stranger. You sell tickets with the slogan "Win Legs for Life!" and watch as people eagerly line up for their chance to walk away with a new set of gams.
The Leg Barter System: Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start a unique bartering system where legs are the currency of choice. You trade your vintage record collection for someone's legs, and they walk away with a new vinyl player. It's a win-win... unless you're left hopping mad.
12 months ago
The latest smoking lover fashion
There's a parallel universe where this is happening. But let's tackle the root of this meme! Why do stoners dress like that? Here's 5 reasons why we think they do:
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
