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10 months ago
Different because she actually replies
As possibly an actual cat i have no issues getting women's attention. In my novice opinion she might have a good excuse!
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
7 months ago
7 months ago
10 months ago
What are the odds?
Technically not a serial killer if you're on your first victim
If statistic boggle you try these ways of serial killer avoidance
The "Netflix Defense":
"Busy binge-watching crime shows. No time for real-life serial killers!"
The "Safe Spaces" Strategy:
"Only hang out in well-lit, crowded areas. Serial killers prefer dark alleys."
The "Boring Target" Theory:
"Too dull to attract a serial killer's attention. My sock drawer is my most exciting hobby!"
The "No-Stalker Zone" Zone:
"Carry a 'no serial killers allowed' sign. It's like a force field, but for creeps."
The "Murder-Free Mondays" Mantra:
"Strict 'no-serial-killers-on-Mondays' policy. It's in my calendar!"
If statistic boggle you try these ways of serial killer avoidance
The "Netflix Defense":
"Busy binge-watching crime shows. No time for real-life serial killers!"
The "Safe Spaces" Strategy:
"Only hang out in well-lit, crowded areas. Serial killers prefer dark alleys."
The "Boring Target" Theory:
"Too dull to attract a serial killer's attention. My sock drawer is my most exciting hobby!"
The "No-Stalker Zone" Zone:
"Carry a 'no serial killers allowed' sign. It's like a force field, but for creeps."
The "Murder-Free Mondays" Mantra:
"Strict 'no-serial-killers-on-Mondays' policy. It's in my calendar!"
10 months ago
8 months ago
10 months ago
Super Mad Terrible Mother
Another person who's going to be put in a home at 53. But we're all about excuses here, maybe she has some good reasons? As a fellow person with an IQ as large as my shoe size I thought up of these totally valid reasons why you shouldn't share your onlyfans money with your kids:
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
