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10 months ago
Pets are a part of the famly
The dog is going to be an uncle. And a great one at that, possibly the best! Here are some reasons why a dog would be the ultimate uncle:
"Expert Toy Tester": Dogs excel at testing the durability of toys, making them the perfect uncles for rambunctious nieces and nephews. With their unmatched enthusiasm for destruction, they'll ensure that only the toughest toys survive the playtime gauntlet.
"Master of Nap Time Negotiations": Need a break from babysitting duty? Leave it to your canine uncle to handle nap time negotiations with finesse. With a few well-timed yawns and a cozy spot on the couch, they'll have your little ones snoozing in no time—leaving you free to catch up on your own beauty sleep.
"Chief Snack Supervisor": When it comes to snack time, your dog uncle takes his role as chief snack supervisor very seriously. With a keen nose for treats and a talent for begging, he'll ensure that your little ones never go hungry—whether it's sharing his own stash of biscuits or liberating snacks from unsuspecting hands.
"The Ultimate Hide-and-Seek Partner": Dogs are experts at hide-and-seek, making them the ultimate partners in crime for your little adventurers. With their keen sense of smell and boundless energy, they'll turn every game of hide-and-seek into an epic adventure—whether they're hiding in plain sight or leading the search party.
"Masters of the Paw-some Pupdate": Your dog uncle is always up to date on the latest gossip in the neighborhood—whether it's the latest squirrel sightings or the juiciest gossip from the local dog park. With their keen sense of curiosity and unmatched ability to sniff out secrets, they'll keep your little ones entertained for hours with their paw-some pupdates.
"Expert Toy Tester": Dogs excel at testing the durability of toys, making them the perfect uncles for rambunctious nieces and nephews. With their unmatched enthusiasm for destruction, they'll ensure that only the toughest toys survive the playtime gauntlet.
"Master of Nap Time Negotiations": Need a break from babysitting duty? Leave it to your canine uncle to handle nap time negotiations with finesse. With a few well-timed yawns and a cozy spot on the couch, they'll have your little ones snoozing in no time—leaving you free to catch up on your own beauty sleep.
"Chief Snack Supervisor": When it comes to snack time, your dog uncle takes his role as chief snack supervisor very seriously. With a keen nose for treats and a talent for begging, he'll ensure that your little ones never go hungry—whether it's sharing his own stash of biscuits or liberating snacks from unsuspecting hands.
"The Ultimate Hide-and-Seek Partner": Dogs are experts at hide-and-seek, making them the ultimate partners in crime for your little adventurers. With their keen sense of smell and boundless energy, they'll turn every game of hide-and-seek into an epic adventure—whether they're hiding in plain sight or leading the search party.
"Masters of the Paw-some Pupdate": Your dog uncle is always up to date on the latest gossip in the neighborhood—whether it's the latest squirrel sightings or the juiciest gossip from the local dog park. With their keen sense of curiosity and unmatched ability to sniff out secrets, they'll keep your little ones entertained for hours with their paw-some pupdates.
7 months ago
10 months ago
A strategic misstep
She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related.
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
