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10 months ago
Trolling a vampire
Still not a pleasant place to be bleeding from, though if you want to troll a vampire while also flirting hey who am I to argue here's five silly suggestions
Garlic-Infused Massage Oil: Offer the vampire a massage with a special garlic-infused massage oil, promising to soothe their immortal muscles and tantalize their senses. Watch as they squirm at the thought of being slathered in the pungent scent of garlic.
Sunscreen Application Roleplay: Playfully suggest a game of "sunscreen application," where you take turns applying SPF lotion to each other's bodies. Make sure to mention how important it is to protect every inch of skin, including those hard-to-reach places.
Holy Water Balloon Balancing Act: Challenge the vampire to a game of "Holy Water Balloon Balancing," where they have to balance a water balloon filled with holy water on their head while performing various tasks. It's a test of skill and agility with a hint of danger.
Stakeout Tease: Leave a note on their coffin that says, "Wanted: Partner for a stakeout. Must be willing to explore dark alleys and confront dangerous creatures of the night." It's a cheeky invitation to join you on an adventure, complete with a subtle nod to their vampiric nature.
Crossword Puzzle Flirtation: Create a crossword puzzle filled with saucy clues and playful innuendos, challenging the vampire to solve each tantalizing riddle. It's a clever way to engage their mind while also teasing them with suggestive hints about their immortal desires.
Garlic-Infused Massage Oil: Offer the vampire a massage with a special garlic-infused massage oil, promising to soothe their immortal muscles and tantalize their senses. Watch as they squirm at the thought of being slathered in the pungent scent of garlic.
Sunscreen Application Roleplay: Playfully suggest a game of "sunscreen application," where you take turns applying SPF lotion to each other's bodies. Make sure to mention how important it is to protect every inch of skin, including those hard-to-reach places.
Holy Water Balloon Balancing Act: Challenge the vampire to a game of "Holy Water Balloon Balancing," where they have to balance a water balloon filled with holy water on their head while performing various tasks. It's a test of skill and agility with a hint of danger.
Stakeout Tease: Leave a note on their coffin that says, "Wanted: Partner for a stakeout. Must be willing to explore dark alleys and confront dangerous creatures of the night." It's a cheeky invitation to join you on an adventure, complete with a subtle nod to their vampiric nature.
Crossword Puzzle Flirtation: Create a crossword puzzle filled with saucy clues and playful innuendos, challenging the vampire to solve each tantalizing riddle. It's a clever way to engage their mind while also teasing them with suggestive hints about their immortal desires.
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
10 months ago
Failing as a parent
Someone's getting put in a nursing home at 53
Here are five humorous suggestions for what a mom could buy herself instead of Christmas presents for her kids:
A "Mommy Time-Out" Kit: Treat yourself to a luxurious spa day complete with massages, facials, and a dip in the hot tub. After all, who needs presents when you can pamper yourself?
The Ultimate Mom Cave: Transform a spare room into your own personal sanctuary, complete with cozy blankets, a mini fridge stocked with your favorite snacks, and a big-screen TV for binge-watching your guilty pleasures.
A "Mom's Night Off" Subscription Box: Sign up for a monthly subscription box filled with goodies just for you, from gourmet chocolates to fancy wine. Because let's face it, being a mom is hard work, and you deserve a little indulgence.
A DIY Mommy Makeover: Splurge on a makeover day where you get to reinvent your look with a new hairstyle, makeup, and wardrobe. It's the perfect excuse to shake things up and show off your fabulous mom style.
A Mommy Adventure Bucket List: Treat yourself to a series of fun and adventurous experiences, from skydiving to zip-lining to bungee jumping. Who needs presents under the tree when you can make memories that will last a lifetime?
Here are five humorous suggestions for what a mom could buy herself instead of Christmas presents for her kids:
A "Mommy Time-Out" Kit: Treat yourself to a luxurious spa day complete with massages, facials, and a dip in the hot tub. After all, who needs presents when you can pamper yourself?
The Ultimate Mom Cave: Transform a spare room into your own personal sanctuary, complete with cozy blankets, a mini fridge stocked with your favorite snacks, and a big-screen TV for binge-watching your guilty pleasures.
A "Mom's Night Off" Subscription Box: Sign up for a monthly subscription box filled with goodies just for you, from gourmet chocolates to fancy wine. Because let's face it, being a mom is hard work, and you deserve a little indulgence.
A DIY Mommy Makeover: Splurge on a makeover day where you get to reinvent your look with a new hairstyle, makeup, and wardrobe. It's the perfect excuse to shake things up and show off your fabulous mom style.
A Mommy Adventure Bucket List: Treat yourself to a series of fun and adventurous experiences, from skydiving to zip-lining to bungee jumping. Who needs presents under the tree when you can make memories that will last a lifetime?
7 months ago
